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AIBU to be angry at the nhs cancer service

(169 Posts)
Pandoraslastchance Thu 02-Aug-18 19:50:19

In January i found a lump. went to the Gp who did the two week referral to the breast clinic. Ultrasound showed 'possible hormonal lump' i swapped my coil to the non hormonal one. lump continued to grow and become more painful.

April-back to gp with pain in breast and redness around side of breast. told to take anti-inflammatory medication and rest.

Start of May-pain gets worse so back to gp. nothing new, more advice to take ibuprofen and rest.

Mid May-back to the gp as the lump is getting bigger and more painful. Whole breast is now red and hot to the touch and skin is very tender to the touch with a strange bruise underneath-apparently that is where the abcess is sitting. Diagnosis of possible abscess so given antibiotics and to take painkillers as required.

End of may-still no improvement so change of antibiotics.

Mid June-its getting bigger but told not to worry.

End June-with no improvement i get referred back to the breast clinic for ultrasound scan to locate this abscess and possibly drain it. my breast is red from underneath (where your bra wire would sit) all the way up to the top of my breast. Its angry redish purple, hot orange peel skin and sunken nipple. i cannot sleep due to the pain and i spend most of my time with a wet teatowel over my breast to try to cool it down,

Middle of July-scan cannot locate an abscess so breast doctor wants to have a punch biopsy to identify what this skin infection is (after a 10 minute lecture on nipple piercings and how ive bought this on myself with my 'vanity' and how as a nurse i should know better than to inflict this on myself) punch biopsy done.

Start of August-we have the results back and you have stage 3 breast cancer, you will need chemo, mastectomy, followed by another round of chemo and then radiation therapy and this needs to be done quickly. Given a folder of leaflets and a booklet on breast cancer.

Im not going to see a consultant for another 2 weeks. It will be 5 weeks since the team got the biopsy results back. 5 FUCKING WEEKS! before i will even be able to see an oncology consultant, let alone start chemo so it will be september before i start chemo. i will have been complaining about this 'lump' for 9 pissing months!!!!!

Im 32. ive had babies and i extended breastfeeding for 2 years for my younger two to reduce the risk of breast cancers. i dont smoke or drink or eat lots of red meat. How the fuck is it stage 3? and why is no one doing anything?

Im so god damn fucking angry and someone had the fucking cheek to tell me not to be angry as cancer isnt personal? Oh yeah? it feels fucking personal, Its taking my breast, it may have spread into my lymph nodes and beyond (hell its had 8 months already to have a nice little wander round my body)oh and that its a positive that im so young! REALLLLLY? my career is on hold, im raising 3 kids on benefits as i now cannot work and my partner who was a stay at home dad is having to look after me now and basically do everything for me as i cannot wear a bra for more than 20 minutes at a time and im so god damn tired all the time.

If you have read this so far please check your breasts and report any changes. id hate anyone to have to go through what i am going through.

thinkingaboutfostering Thu 02-Aug-18 19:54:08

I've got nothing useful to say but I'm so so sorry. You have every right to feel how you are.

Jjjjigoo Thu 02-Aug-18 19:55:30

Oh bless you, that's so hideous. To have flagged it up 9 months ago and for it to have been allowed to get this far without treatment. I'm raging for you.

I'm a cancer survivor. Please don't give up hope but by God, I don't blame you for being so fucking angry.

ShapelyBingoWing Thu 02-Aug-18 19:56:39

flowers

Be fucking angry. That service was not OK. Even just reading about the progressive appearance of the lump and breast, I knew you needed an urgent biopsy. You get to be pissed off at this, personal or not. Even without the failings, you get to be pissed off that it's happening.

purpleme12 Thu 02-Aug-18 19:58:16

I'm so sorry to hear about this.
Sending strength xx

Jjjjigoo Thu 02-Aug-18 19:58:34

And get down there tomorrow. Cry and make a nuisance of yourself until they are forced to see you immediately. Be civil and calm but be persistent. ask to see the higher bods and refuse to go anywhere until you get things moving immediately. The least they owe you is quick treatment now. Even threaten doing them for negligence as a last resort but don't just give up.

PineapplePen07 Thu 02-Aug-18 19:59:18

You have every reason to feel angry op- what an utter disgrace.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this thanks

redannie118 Thu 02-Aug-18 19:59:36

Im so sorry. My sister had a very similar experience with her cancer diagnosis. Had womb cancer age 30 and will now never have children. When she complained was told the same thing" oh you were lucky you caught it before it killed you "
No words of wisdom just hugs. That fucking sucks. Being a woman fucking sucks- gps never take you seriously and when it turns out you were right all along ,turn it back on you. Maybe go to PALS if you have the strength? Hope someone more knowledgeable comes along soon. X

MsVestibule Thu 02-Aug-18 20:00:02

Christ, that is fucking awful. You're not angry at the cancer (although maybe you are too), you're angry because the NHS HCPs have SERIOUSLY let you down. I wish I had something constructive to say but I'm too angry for you.

itchyknees Thu 02-Aug-18 20:00:16

Christ alive that’s what absolutely should NOT happen!

Is it inflammatory bc? I am so sorry you’re going through this.

Bluelady Thu 02-Aug-18 20:01:52

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oddcat Thu 02-Aug-18 20:02:52

I'm so sorry Op , I work in the nhs and strongly recommend you make a formal complaint about your GP , it will hopefully make him more proactive in the future.
Wishing you all the best xx

UpstartCrow Thu 02-Aug-18 20:03:19

flowers
Yanbu, you've been badly let down and have every right to complain.

covetingthepreciousthings Thu 02-Aug-18 20:05:28

thanks
I am so sorry for you to be going through this. You have every right to be angry.
You should have had better care.
I agree with other PP you should try take this further. Patients need to be heard, if you think there's something wrong you need to be taken seriously.

necromumda Thu 02-Aug-18 20:05:33

I'm so sorry to hear this and you have every right to be angry
I would mention that something similar has happened to two people I know but I am aware this thread is about the OP.

JennyHolzersGhost Thu 02-Aug-18 20:06:15

The NHS is actually pretty poor by international standards at cancer diagnosis. I’m so sorry OP flowers from my experience the GP should have referred you on to the breast centre far earlier. You should definitely pursue that complaint, it is not acceptable.

WrongKindOfFace Thu 02-Aug-18 20:08:27

That’s piss poor treatment and I think you need to contact pals. All the best for your treatment and recovery.

Aridane Thu 02-Aug-18 20:08:48

ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL

flowers

Jjjjigoo Thu 02-Aug-18 20:09:16

The gp originally referred to the breast clinic. This is presumably the fault of the hospital too.

Pandoraslastchance Thu 02-Aug-18 20:10:45

diagnosis letter states 'left breast- invasive ductal cancer, grade 3, inflammatory presentation'

do you wanna hear the best thing? Im a fucking nurse and ive been pushing since january. ive had to ask and ask and ask. ask for antibiotics. ask for a different type of antibiotics, ask for referrals. ask for scans. ask for second options from gp. every time i saw someone i said 'the lump behind my nipple is getting bigger, the pain is worse, its redder, hotter, my partner is concerned about the colour, i cant wear a bra now'

i even drew a tracking line to mark the progressing infection with permenant marker.

ive found a friend of a friend who works in oncology in a different hospital so im picking her brains. shes pissed to say the least at this saga. shes angry that they havent done bloods, mri or ct scans yet. She said even if there is the slightest risk of lymph involvement then i need treatment and scans ASAP.

im actually feeling sorry for the PALS department as they are going to dread my name appearing in their inbox every week.

i think its hitting home that i may die. i may not survive this due to the fuck ups.

ragged Thu 02-Aug-18 20:11:22

Which type of breast cancer do you have, OP? It sounds like what little I understand about inflammatory BC. I'm sorry you're going thru this.

BackforGood Thu 02-Aug-18 20:11:32

You've been badly let down, and have absolutely every right to feel angry at what has happened to you in this case.

I have to take issue with that being the whole of 'the NHS Cancer Service' though, as your (appalling) situation doesn't reflect what normally happens

flowers

Oly5 Thu 02-Aug-18 20:11:42

You need to start a complaints process against your GP but first get a lawyer. Their anaction has delayed your cancer diagnosis by six months and you have grounds to sue

xJune88 Thu 02-Aug-18 20:11:58

It's fucking disgusting and makes me so angry. I've just lost my dad from prostate cancer which was treatable but they left him so long it got to his bones. 6 months from diagnosis to death. He was 55 years YOUNG. It's a absolute shambles. Really hope you are ok OP xxxx

jellypi3 Thu 02-Aug-18 20:12:10

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope your treatment is swift and effective.

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