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Got him!

(18 Posts)
ihatesquats Wed 01-Aug-18 02:14:49

Copied from my thread in relationships but it doesn't seem as active and I need a hand hold. Don't want to disturb anyone irl at this time.

I'm shaking as I write this, I need the support of MN.

I previously posted about my H and his frequent visits to industrial estates.

Well I've caught him in the act. I kicked him out a few days ago, and last night my mum was visiting so I went to his place of work, to take him his essentials that he's been asking for. And lo and behold I see him sat in the car, with his hand on his colleagues thigh/ crotch. His window was down and I lost it and threw the bag I was holding at his head and screamed and made a complete show of myself and left. I've since had my locks changed and blocked his number.

My gut instinct was right. Instead of feeling relieved that I'm not going mad, I feel broken.

Mum2OneTeen Wed 01-Aug-18 02:24:19

I'm so sorry, this is the outcome that you really didn't want. Stay strong! thanks

ShinyPinkLipgloss Wed 01-Aug-18 02:25:27

Eeeewww what a sleazeball!

You deserve so much better. Focus on you, that idiot doesn’t deserve a second thought.

It will, initially, be difficult as you transition into you ur new life but onwards and upwards - life will be better! You’ll look back and not recognise yourself in your current life.

Best wishes and stay strong!

Lobsterquadrille2 Wed 01-Aug-18 02:28:21

How absolutely horrible and devastating. Sometimes better to know the truth in the long run though. And also sometimes satisfying to give him what he deserves. I think you were quite restrained.

Sending hugs and thanks

ihatesquats Wed 01-Aug-18 02:28:39

I'm devastated. Although I knew something was going on, I wasn't prepared to see it and have to deal with it.

I've not been able to eat a thing today, I have a constant lump in my throat, I feel physically sick.

Lobsterquadrille2 Wed 01-Aug-18 02:30:48

Try to have sweet tea if you can stomach it.

At least catching him in the act means zero room for doubt, lies and denial.

ihatesquats Wed 01-Aug-18 02:35:16

To see him sat there with her, without a care in the world, killed me.
I didn't cry in front of him but as soon as I got back to my car the tears started flowing. He didn't even follow me.

Uggywuggy Wed 01-Aug-18 02:35:37

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that OP!! What a horrible way to find out!! Well done on following your gut instinct and kicking him out, as well as blocking him, he’s a total scumbag and you can do so much better.

Good luck to the colleague cos he’ll do exactly the same to her.

I know how horrible it feels when this happens and the only help I can give is to say this loser was a stepping stone to someone so much better!!! Hang in there xx

BasicUsername Wed 01-Aug-18 02:36:40

I am sorry to hear this. It's never a nice position to be in, but sometimes it's better to know for sure than to have doubts / wonder if he was innocent all along.

What a fucking bastard.

lou1221 Wed 01-Aug-18 02:41:19

Filthy,disgusting man! I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I would think this reaction is completely normal, broken for the lost relationship, lies, deceit, how a relationship should be or could have been, not trapped in a web of deception. You are going to go through a grieving process, the anger and relief will come, but in time.

I haven't read yr threads before, and im sorry you can't contact anyone irl at the moment, although I'm sure your mum will be wide awake too.

Don't toss and turn in bed, get a blanket, sit on the sofa, have a cuppa (or stronger if you want) and write a list. List of everything you need to do, to get this fuckwit out of yr life. A list of things of you plan to do, now he's out of yr life. Google a shit hot lawyer, get together all the important docs that you need, and fucking screw him.

You and your family are what are important, when the sun rises, that is a new dawn , a new life for you guys. he's ruined this one, and he's not part of yr future.

oh and seriously, who gives a toss if you embarrassed yourself? No one, that's who. flowers

ferntwist Wed 01-Aug-18 02:44:04

Bastard. At least now you know. Well done on catching him so soon and staying strong strong. How long have you been married?

It gets easier every day from here. You deserve so much better.

ferntwist Wed 01-Aug-18 02:45:18

Oops didn’t mean to type strong twice.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 01-Aug-18 02:47:54

He'll go through life like that ruining every relationship he has by cheating. He'll regret it, though 30 years down the line or so When he's a lonely old man. To a certain extent you reap what you sew.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 Wed 01-Aug-18 03:00:39

So sorry thanks

mathanxiety Wed 01-Aug-18 03:10:43

I read your thread in Relationships.

You are a very brave woman and well done.

You are shaking now, but I hope you will come to see what happened tonight as a gift to you from the universe. You will never find yourself tossing and turning and wondering if you were overreacting, imagining things, too easily swayed by advice online, etc. You saw it with your own eyes and while you may feel terrible about that right now, nobody can take that away from you. Nobody can ever suggest to you that maybe it wasn't really the case that your exH was a piece of pond scum.

I agree once a cheater always a cheater and he will reap what he is now sowing.

I think you deserve a round of applause for having the presence to throw his stuff at him and shout/scream/curse - he was the one making a show of himself (along with the trollop in the car of course). Well done - don't think badly of yourself for your reaction. Nobody is giving out medals for 'dignity'. He is not worth the effort it would have taken you to take the high road.

PurpleFlower1983 Wed 01-Aug-18 06:09:53

You are well rid of the bastard.

Shoxfordian Wed 01-Aug-18 06:29:53

I read your other post.
Well done for finding out the truth and you can now move on without him in your life anymore. Take care of yourself op

ScotsLamb Sat 11-Aug-18 10:48:14

I’m gutted for you. At least you know it wasn’t all in your head and I’m glad you chucked him out.
Hopefully you can build your life up to be better than it ever was with him.

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