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Naked MIL

(387 Posts)
Wrongintherightway Sun 29-Jul-18 23:51:22

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

niketrainersarecomfy Thu 02-Aug-18 15:39:00

Nope train to nopesville grin

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Aug-18 15:12:47

To be fair, I don't think The tv documentaries have helped the nudism cause, there was a whole series about it a few years back, and it was mainly watched for its comedic and voyeuristic value,not helped my media articles mocking it, and shots of horrified looking kids wanting to keep their pants on and not see willies, boobs, and bare arses everywhere.

You then had naked people shopping in on site supermarkets wearing sun hats and shoes, waving at each other, and playing sporting events and jiggling in a way no one needed to see. Carefully putting towels down before they sat down shudder

There is always going to be small sub section of the population who like that and think it's natural, and well, everyone else really, who think it's weird and secretly pervy/exhibitionist.

RoseWhiteTips Thu 02-Aug-18 15:04:47

Why would a grandmother do this in front of her grandchildren? It is just wrong.

RoseWhiteTips Thu 02-Aug-18 15:03:18

If a 12 year old mentions it - male or female - they are feeling a bit weird about it and probably seeking reassurance. Why on earth would anyone think it is fine for a young person to have even one thought about something like this?

Moussemoose Thu 02-Aug-18 14:40:00

Obvious we need to listen to children. However, if we use whether a 12 year old is embarrassed about something as a yardstick to measure if something is a good idea we may as well all buy grey cardies and stay home.

At a certain age everything your parents do is embarrassing. Embarrassment is a social construct. One of the difficulties is teaching children what is normal and what is not.

Being naked is (can be) normal, acting in certain ways while naked or fully clothed is the issue. They need to identify the behaviours that are wrong not merely embarrassing.

PositiveProton Thu 02-Aug-18 13:55:33

confused 2 pages in and people are talking about how their dad whipped his willy out to use the loo whilst they soaked in the bath and grandmas wandering around, casually airing their vaginas... nope nope nope. Nope train to nopesville.

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Aug-18 13:20:36

You've seen two programmes that say nudism is bad

For Christ's sake. I never said I saw any program that said nudism was bad. I said I saw a couple of documentaries and the teenage kids were embarrassed and didn't really want their friends to know.

And as for all the immature "you made that up"crap. We aren't at school. Argue like an adult. Your post indicated that kids involved in this scene loved it. My point, as you know was many kids involved in this scene don't love it. They'd rather their parents weren't nudists. They go along with it, sure they have fun, but at a certain age a lot of them become embarrassed by it and would rather more mainstream holidays rather than hanging out with a bunch of naked adults.

And what's even more interesting is many of the kids subjected to this, do not subject their own kids to it, and do not become nudists as adults, they stop it as soon as they are able.

Bluelady Thu 02-Aug-18 13:20:12

I don't. HTH.

WaxOnFeckOff Thu 02-Aug-18 13:18:57

I think nudists as opposed to people who are uninhibited are too different groups tbh. The fisrt group seems a bit forced and strange whereas the latter don't so much. I guess I'm going from the videos we've all seen with the camps of nudists playing badminton in the nude or sitting having tea and watching tv in the nude etc compared to people not caring if they happen to be seen in the nude getting changes at a beach/going topless to avoid tan lines or being naked in their own home while in the process of getting dressed/undressed rather than generally going about all their daily lives naked.

I don't think the body is anything to be ashamed off but at the same time I prefer to keep mine private and would consider other people's modesty too.

RoseWhiteTips Thu 02-Aug-18 13:06:26

Nudists are embarrassing and always a bit repulsive. That’s what other people think of you.
HTH

GladAllOver Thu 02-Aug-18 09:58:58

Really, Bluntness, where do you get all that from?

How is it prejudice? I specifically stated I'd watched a couple of programs on it, as well as having a friend whose parents are nudists. Second hand experience maybe, but not prejudice.
You've seen two programmes that say nudism is bad? I don't suppose you can remember the titles or channels? I'd love to see them. As for what your friend says, I have a friend who insists that Brexit will be wonderful. Does that make it true?

And I think you know you're going too far when you say all kids just love it.
You've made that up. I did not say all kids love it. How could they, when all kids haven't experienced it, and with parents like you they will never have the chance. I said "I have never heard anyone, child or adult, say that they didn't like it."

You must know that's not true when they get to 11/12 plus. They become self conscious of their bodies and others.
Of course. I went through that stage. And it was easy for me when I had already learned that my body, while private to me, was nothing to ashamed of and didn't need to be hidden away.
I also learned that I didn't have to worry about 'does my bum look good in this' or 'does this bra top give me a nice cleavage' because I had seen every shape and size of body and realised how foolish and artificial that is.

You would have way more credibility if you said, yeah some kids are awkward at that age, but get over it, instead of a blanket everyone loves it and are all happy naked together statement.
Again, you've made that up. I have never said that everyone loves it. Only that those I have met who have experienced it have been very content. I can't speak for others - that would be prejudice.

In addition how can you even be "prejudiced" against nudity? Skin colour, religion, sure, but nudists? Cmon.
Prejudice means, literally. pre-judging. You are judging people who enjoy a happy, liberating experience without trying it yourself.

Anyway this thread has drifted far from its original purpose and it is no longer getting anywhere, so I will leave you to your prejudice.

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Aug-18 07:18:23

How is it prejudice? I specifically stated I'd watched a couple of programs on it, as well as having a friend whose parents are nudists. Second hand experience maybe, but not prejudice. And I think you know you're going too far when you say all kids just love it.

You must know that's not true when they get to 11/12 plus. They become self conscious of their bodies and others.

You would have way more credibility if you said, yeah some kids are awkward at that age, but get over it, instead of a blanket everyone loves it and are all happy naked together statement.

In addition how can you even be "prejudiced" against nudity? Skin colour, religion, sure, but nudists? Cmon.

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 22:51:29

That is utter rot.

Wonderful! Prejudice trumps actual experience.

Goodnight and sweet dreams smile

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 22:44:44

Agree to disagree, i am so far from nudity being normal that i have nothing further to add. If it works for others fair play.
Night folks.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 20:13:57

Total bullshit.

Just watch some documentaries on it, plenty of kids interviewed who find it deeply embarrassing. Yes they go and join in becayse they have to, but they find it embarrassing and would prefer clothed and tend not to tell their friends what their parents do.

RoseWhiteTips Wed 01-Aug-18 20:11:29

The whole point about open nudity is that everyone is so used to unclothed bodies is that becomes unremarkable, even boring.

That is utter rot.

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 20:08:09

as for no embarassement between the ages for those who grow up round a nudist family, that's also bullshit. If you watch or read up on it kids when they hit about 12 upwards are very often embarrassed, in addition we have a friend who grew up with nudist parents and he found it, and still finds it as a man in his forties, embarrassing as did most of the kids he met at these camps.

Well he must have gone to a very different camp or beach to those we have been to. Three generations all relaxing, swimming or playing sports together. Totally without inhibition or hangups and in all looking forward to the next visit.
I have never heard anyone, child or adult, say that they didn't like it or didn't want to go again. The whole point about open nudity is that everyone is so used to unclothed bodies is that becomes unremarkable, even boring. It means no more to see a penis than to see a nose. It just isn't noticed.
However I can see that no one here is going to be convinced.

Stormi12 Wed 01-Aug-18 19:36:35

OP. You are right. This is unacceptable. Your mil is disgusting. No more babysitting until a conversation is had. And your husband is the one to have it. His mother, his problem.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 16:31:24

Nike, you'd never cross my doorstep. We'd clearly never agree on anything and I'm quite fussy about my guests. Anyway, like Duck, I'm bored with this too.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:48:03

I can also separate the two, I just don't understand this "need" for it, it's not hard to shove a towel or robe on. And again, as Nike said the point is this was in front of her two grandsons she hardly sees. Only someone with severe problems wouldn't know this may cause the children a problem. Why deliberately embarrass them? And her nudity was clearly deliberate.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:38:07

Blue I can separate the two. I'd just think she was weird. A child just going into puberty, may struggle. That's the problem.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:36:48

No, Nike.

Anyway I'm bored of this now 😴

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:36:16

I also would put 'sometimes' with 'occasionally' meaning not very often. The fact she's done it on the rare occasion she looks after the boys, suggests otherwise.
Duck if I came to your house then removed my clothes would that be ok? Doubt it.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 14:33:59

It's only "perry" if you are unable to separate nakedness from sexuality. If that's the case, it's quite sad.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:32:26

Who me?

No, because he said it was only sometimes and not exhibitionist. As said to be sometimes does not translate to often.

I've no idea why she did it in front of the grandkids but I think it's very odd she did. I would not find a mad dash to the bedroom or something so odd, but wandering back and forward knowing they can see her, so assuming she can also see them, I find discomfiting, yes, and I'd find it just as discomfiting if a man did it in front of his granddaughters when alone with them. I amnt going to give her a pass because she's female.

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