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Naked MIL

(387 Posts)
Wrongintherightway Sun 29-Jul-18 23:51:22

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 12:05:27

Its obvious that Bluelady is talking about herself in the 9.15 post and didn't NC fail.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 12:10:47

Thanks Duck - thought I was losing the plot!

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 12:11:44

grin

beingthere Wed 01-Aug-18 12:12:05

Why would anyone talk about themselves in the third person?! 😂

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 12:16:32

Too confusing for you?

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 12:57:52

Whoa - so this is why you think we wear clothes in public?

Clothing was invented when early humans moved north from Africa and found it was too cold up here without being covered.

We are born without clothes and 'modesty' is just an artificial construct.
It is the hiding away of 'secret' parts of the body that makes them attractive and subject to unhealthy attraction. And it positively encourages pornography to see forbidden things.

Anyone who has grown up in a family that is open about their bodies, or who has spent time in a naturist resort, will tell you that there is no embarrassment whatever between the sexes or ages because body parts are just boring.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 13:44:45

It is the hiding away of 'secret' parts of the body that makes them attractive and subject to unhealthy attraction. And it positively encourages pornography to see forbidden things. Anyone who has grown up in a family that is open about their bodies, or who has spent time in a naturist resort, will tell you that there is no embarrassment whatever between the sexes or ages because body parts are just boring

Actually, this is total nonsense, if you read up or watch documentaries on tribes where partial or full nudity is common, the men are still atrracted to women's breasts, bottoms, vulva etc, it makes no difference. There is also nothing unhealthy about normal sexual attraction,

And as for no embarassement between the ages for those who grow up round a nudist family, that's also bullshit. If you watch or read up on it kids when they hit about 12 upwards are very often embarrassed, in addition we have a friend who grew up with nudist parents and he found it, and still finds it as a man in his forties, embarrassing as did most of the kids he met at these camps.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:18:54

Actually I think the 'naked is great' camp would be surprised by the TRUE feelings of their children in this. It's the equivalent of women saying, oh but my kids LOOOVE my partner. No, you do, and you expect everyone to go along with it regardless of how they feel.
The concern here is how uncomfortable the boys were. Not the fact that she was walking around nude which she's entitled to do. Of course she is, alone, but it takes a special kind of stupid not to consider for a minute, that 12 year olds may find it embarrassing or worse. Especially since the OP points out it definitely wasn't by accident, as she did it twice knowing they could see.
Being naked in your home is fine. Although, as Blue admitted she is naked with non family members in her house, it takes psychic ability to know your guests are comfortable with that, or rather, fuck anyone with a problem as it's your house.
Whatever, I stand by the fact it is weird, borderline pervy and totally out of order to get your kit off in front of someone else's kids. If anyone thinks that normal, then it explains why abuse is so widespread, particularly considering the total dismissal of the kids feelings in the matter. End of.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:23:03

I don't think anyone has dismissed that the boys were embarrassed.

And I cannot take anything you say seriously when you state it's " borderline pervy " hmm

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:25:06

Ok then. It's pervy.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:28:11

If you're walking about naked in front of friends, their kids and their husbands who aren't nudists, but simply because they are in your house, you feel you've rhe right and don't care if they glimpse your "bare arse" , I think most folks would think it borderline pervy.

I think the difference of opinion is between giving consideration to others v giving consideration only to ones self.

And yeah, I think there is something very odd about folks who insist on being naked in front of their friends and family given half a chance.

It's so look at me, I'm so cool, I don't care who sees my bits, I'm so uninhibited. Eh no you're not, you're just being a twat.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:29:39

I can't get to grips how your mind works to say that.

Do you think she had some ulterior motive when she walked around naked in front of her son too then? A bit of an Oedipus thing going on?

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:32:26

Who me?

No, because he said it was only sometimes and not exhibitionist. As said to be sometimes does not translate to often.

I've no idea why she did it in front of the grandkids but I think it's very odd she did. I would not find a mad dash to the bedroom or something so odd, but wandering back and forward knowing they can see her, so assuming she can also see them, I find discomfiting, yes, and I'd find it just as discomfiting if a man did it in front of his granddaughters when alone with them. I amnt going to give her a pass because she's female.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 14:33:59

It's only "perry" if you are unable to separate nakedness from sexuality. If that's the case, it's quite sad.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:36:16

I also would put 'sometimes' with 'occasionally' meaning not very often. The fact she's done it on the rare occasion she looks after the boys, suggests otherwise.
Duck if I came to your house then removed my clothes would that be ok? Doubt it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:36:48

No, Nike.

Anyway I'm bored of this now 😴

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:38:07

Blue I can separate the two. I'd just think she was weird. A child just going into puberty, may struggle. That's the problem.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:48:03

I can also separate the two, I just don't understand this "need" for it, it's not hard to shove a towel or robe on. And again, as Nike said the point is this was in front of her two grandsons she hardly sees. Only someone with severe problems wouldn't know this may cause the children a problem. Why deliberately embarrass them? And her nudity was clearly deliberate.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 16:31:24

Nike, you'd never cross my doorstep. We'd clearly never agree on anything and I'm quite fussy about my guests. Anyway, like Duck, I'm bored with this too.

Stormi12 Wed 01-Aug-18 19:36:35

OP. You are right. This is unacceptable. Your mil is disgusting. No more babysitting until a conversation is had. And your husband is the one to have it. His mother, his problem.

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 20:08:09

as for no embarassement between the ages for those who grow up round a nudist family, that's also bullshit. If you watch or read up on it kids when they hit about 12 upwards are very often embarrassed, in addition we have a friend who grew up with nudist parents and he found it, and still finds it as a man in his forties, embarrassing as did most of the kids he met at these camps.

Well he must have gone to a very different camp or beach to those we have been to. Three generations all relaxing, swimming or playing sports together. Totally without inhibition or hangups and in all looking forward to the next visit.
I have never heard anyone, child or adult, say that they didn't like it or didn't want to go again. The whole point about open nudity is that everyone is so used to unclothed bodies is that becomes unremarkable, even boring. It means no more to see a penis than to see a nose. It just isn't noticed.
However I can see that no one here is going to be convinced.

RoseWhiteTips Wed 01-Aug-18 20:11:29

The whole point about open nudity is that everyone is so used to unclothed bodies is that becomes unremarkable, even boring.

That is utter rot.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 20:13:57

Total bullshit.

Just watch some documentaries on it, plenty of kids interviewed who find it deeply embarrassing. Yes they go and join in becayse they have to, but they find it embarrassing and would prefer clothed and tend not to tell their friends what their parents do.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 22:44:44

Agree to disagree, i am so far from nudity being normal that i have nothing further to add. If it works for others fair play.
Night folks.

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 22:51:29

That is utter rot.

Wonderful! Prejudice trumps actual experience.

Goodnight and sweet dreams smile

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