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Naked MIL

(387 Posts)
Wrongintherightway Sun 29-Jul-18 23:51:22

MIL had ds1 & ds2 for a few hours recently to help out with childcare in school holidays (not a regular arrangement). Ds1 came home and said gran was walking round naked! It turns out she had gone for a mid morning shower and was walking about naked (indoors obvs)

AIBU to think this is not acceptable, ds1 is 12 and ds2 is 7?

BertrandRussell Tue 31-Jul-18 17:52:16

“I'm also shocked at rhe people who are dismissing these children's reactions.”

I don’t think anyone is- they are just not catasrtophising them and starting a JustGiving page for counseling.

limon Tue 31-Jul-18 17:53:49

Not appropriate. I say this as a person who grew up with parents who were naked a lot right up until I was about 14. Really not pleasant at all.

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 18:01:23

He said he saw his mother naked a few times growing up, in his whole life he's seen her less than a handful of times. That does not a naked family make. That is a normal family.

Bluelady Tue 31-Jul-18 18:04:18

Bluntness, you've posted incessantly about this, long after OP disappeared - do you not think we probably know what you think as well as you do by now?

Eleventwelths Tue 31-Jul-18 18:05:59

Bluntness100 no, that’s YOUR family that you have decided everyone has to be like. So narrow minded!

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 18:06:04

As have you blue lady.

Pot, kettle, black?

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 18:08:22

And actually no, I have a daughter, she has seen me naked many a time.

So no it's not my family, but I do totally understand why appearing naked in front of your 12 year old grandson may make him uncomfortable, and no I would not do it personally and do not think anyone should if it is not the child's norm. The child comes first.

Bluelady Tue 31-Jul-18 18:08:56

Fair point but I realise not everyone's going to agree with me, you just keep repeating the same thing over and over as if doing so makes you right.

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 18:10:35

As do you blue lady, we are both at it.

haribosmarties Tue 31-Jul-18 18:19:06

To some people this is weird and to others its normal. Theres no right or wrong about nudity in your own home (unless there is a context which is sexual etc)
So really if you dont want this going on you need to make that clear as it is some peoples 'normal'.
Personally I do walk from the shower to my bedroom naked sometimes and think nothing of it. I dont see any problem with nudity in front of my children and husband and they have never complained about it and would also think nothing of walking from the bathroom naked themselves.
Different families will have different attitudes to this.
So yes it is 'acceptable' however you are well within your rights to say thats not what you and your children are used to so could she not do that when they are there please?
Acting like shes weird somehow is not reasonable however as lots of people would think this was totally fine.

pallisers Tue 31-Jul-18 18:22:11

I don’t think anyone is- they are just not catasrtophising them and starting a JustGiving page for counseling.

really? Did you read some of the comments on here, for example

So the 12 yr old was uncomfortable. Big fucking deal.

Missed the JustGiving suggestion though. Oh, wait, you were exaggerating for effect. Lots of that on both sides on this thread.

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 20:01:41

Haribo, it's different with your own kids. Would you do it in front of your 12 year old grandson who you hardly saw and were alone with him and his little brother. And not just walk to the bedroom, but then back again, in their full view?

As said, my daughter has seen me naked plenty, but if when she was 12 her grandfather was baby sitting her and she told me he'd been walking about naked, back and forward to rooms and knowing she could see him, I'd have had something to say about it. Loudly and very clearly indeed.

MrsAidanTurner Tue 31-Jul-18 20:05:00

I'm also surprised at the mils nakedness trumps the child's embarrassment.

If it was innocent no harm done really but I'm not seeing why the child's feelings about this are less important than the adult

I mean that sort of thinking is quite dangerous?!

Now what if Mil was dodgy and the child was trying to tell one of those type of posters this in rl??

BertrandRussell Tue 31-Jul-18 20:20:40

"I'm also surprised at the mils nakedness trumps the child's embarrassment."

It doesn't. For what feels like the millionth time.

RoseWhiteTips Tue 31-Jul-18 20:21:10

The MiL sounds dodgy to me. Why would she do this - or anybody do this - in front of a 12 year old boy who is on the verge of puberty? It is batshit.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 20:36:03

Yep, Rose you got it. Peedo Gran.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 20:40:46

He said he saw his mother naked a few times growing up, in his whole life he's seen her less than a handful of times. That does not a naked family make. That is a normal family.

Who this?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 20:41:00

Who's

Bluelady Tue 31-Jul-18 20:54:05

OP's husband.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 20:59:12

How does Bluntness100 know so much detail?

DH said would sometimes see her naked when he was little but not exhibitionist type

MrsAidanTurner Tue 31-Jul-18 20:59:29

But non of your comments seem to mind the boys so much they are all about Mil..

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 21:02:34

Mind what? I've acknowledged that the eldest one was embarrassed and that the OP should speak to MIL.

What else is there to say?

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 21:05:09

Ok, I got it wrong, sometimes, as opposed to a few times, but sometimes doesn't mean regularly to me or a naked home. If it was I'm sure the op would have said,

I also wonder about gender here, if it was the grandfather walking back and forward between rooms, whilst baby sitting his 12 and 7 year old grand daughters, knowing rhey could see him, would the "it's normal and the human body beautiful" brigade be so quick to jump to his defence?

As said, for me, gender makes no difference and he'd be keeping his cock covered or not be left alone with them again.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 21:21:47

You see no difference between a man walking around naked in front of his 12 year GD to that of a woman? Really Bluntness100? I don't believe you actually.

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 21:24:21

No I don't,

But you clearly do. You think it's ok for women to expose themselves like this and not men? Is that your viewpoint?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 21:28:37

I think the two are very different yes. A man walking around naked could be doing it for some kind of sexual reason I suppose.

How many women flashers have you ever heard of?

GladAllOver Tue 31-Jul-18 21:34:20

Is this still going on?
The boy was embarrassed because he has been taught that the human body is dirty and sinful, and must be hidden at all times. Then he sees a naked body, and is embarrassed. How is that the MiL's fault?

niketrainersarecomfy Tue 31-Jul-18 21:36:13

I also see no difference at all between men and women being naked. Its the same. Inappropriate.
I wonder why duck is so desperate to protect the mil.

niketrainersarecomfy Tue 31-Jul-18 21:37:48

Women can be abusers. If we fall into the trap of ignoring childrens discomfort based on biological sex then we are being very unwise.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 31-Jul-18 21:40:34

I know that women can abuse children but compared to men that abuse is minute.

Do you really think this woman had those intentions?

happypoobum Tue 31-Jul-18 21:48:59

yanbu

My DS at 12 would have been really shocked by this.

niketrainersarecomfy Tue 31-Jul-18 21:56:50

No duck i dont. I am arguing that a lack of boundaries is as potentially damaging dependent on whether the older adult is a man or a woman.

Lynne1Cat Tue 31-Jul-18 22:07:51

Not appropriate. My grandchildren are 7 and 4, and I wouldn't dream of walking around naked.

Kittykat93 Tue 31-Jul-18 22:21:14

Definitely not normal and understandable that your ds felt embarrassed. There's no hardship in wrapping a towel around yourself to walk to the bedroom when you have people over.

pallisers Tue 31-Jul-18 22:24:02

The boy was embarrassed because he has been taught that the human body is dirty and sinful, and must be hidden at all times.

Whoa - so this is why you think we wear clothes in public?

Either you grew up in a family that taught you people who don't like being naked in front of others think the human body is dirty and sinful or you grew up in a family that taught you the naked human body is dirty and sinful.

Either way, that's some weird shit

blahnikandlouboutins Tue 31-Jul-18 22:31:46

”dirty and sinful, and must be hidden at all times”

Huh?

Or perhaps just private and special.

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Jul-18 22:35:10

The boy was embarrassed because he has been taught that the human body is dirty and sinful, and must be hidden at all times

Oh that's a really really odd and discomfiting thing to write. It's as weird as.

Great duck in all honesty I get your point, but I was making one, it shouldn't matter the gender, if it's not ok for a man it shouldn't be ok for a woman either, and the point is, again, it's about rhe child and their feelings. A boy age 12 has as much right to not want to see his grandmother naked as a girl age 12 doesn't want to see her grandfather naked. And neither gender should be doing it, unless they know the child is comfortable with it,

BertrandRussell Tue 31-Jul-18 22:38:05

The boy was embarrassed because intergenerational nudity is a taboo in our society. Perfectly undersrndble. It is remotely possible tht the grandmother is an exhibitionist paedophile. It is much more likely that she didn't think the kids were looking or forgot for a moment that she wasn't alone in the house. In which case, the forms of words previously suggested will sort it. If she is a paedophile then obviously the OP has to go to the police. She has no choice in the matter. Is rht what people are suggesting?

niketrainersarecomfy Tue 31-Jul-18 22:42:44

I would also argue that same generation nudity is awkward, my 11 and 15 yo kids would not wish to be naked in front of my 12yo, or any of their mates.
We are suggesting the childs feelings are valid, that it requires a conversation and if it happens again access should stop permanently.
Blue admittedd she is naked between rooms in her home with her childrens friends around, if that were my childs friends they'd either laugh at it or be uncomfortable. Either way they wouldnt go back.

pallisers Tue 31-Jul-18 23:17:05

I would also argue that same generation nudity is awkward, my 11 and 15 yo kids would not wish to be naked in front of my 12yo, or any of their mates.

I agree with this and would also say that inter generational nudity is more awkward than taboo, considering how different families work.

I know being happy to be naked in front of anyone is the cooler option on MN but it is perfectly ok not to want to be naked in front of people . I couldn't care less who sees me naked these days - giving birth to 3 children cured me of any prudishness I had, which wasn't much (my baby going to daycare with the baby of the man who did the bi-manual massage of my uterus was the last vestige gone) but I respect people's wishes not to see others naked or be forced to be naked in front of them. It is never a good thing if a 12 year old is told that him expressing some surprise and embarrassment at his reasonable boundaries being breached is something to be utterly dismissed and ridiculed.

ChocolateDoll Wed 01-Aug-18 01:00:53

My MIL does stuff like this.

She does it because she is an exhibitionist.

Neither me nor my children have anything to do with her ever.

PositivelyPERF Wed 01-Aug-18 01:05:54

There seems to be an awful lot of posters that seem keen to push the idea, that nudity between members of the opposite sex should be accepted as normal. Considering women are currently fighting to protect same sex areas, it’s awfully odd.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 08:26:56

I would also argue that same generation nudity is awkward, my 11 and 15 yo kids would not wish to be naked in front of my 12yo, or any of their mates.I agree with this and would also say that inter generational nudity is more awkward than taboo, considering how different families work

I'd agree with both these statements, 12 is an awkward age, and I would agree that it's more awkward or discomfiting for the child rather than taboo as such. It becomes even more awkward when it's the opposite gender, as my example of a 7 and a 12 year old girl being baby sat by their grandfather who walks about naked where he knows they can see him.

If granny got naked in front of her 12 and 7 year old grand daughters it would also be perceived differently to doing it in front of her grandsons,

There is also the simple issue of adults getting naked in front of children this age, when alone with them, when the kids are not theirs and not brought up in this type of environment. Yes society frowns upon it due to the obvious connotations.

I very much doubt the woman is a peaedophile, but they exist, and as she was not regularly naked in front of her own son, and the op states she knew she could be seen, it's unlikely she forgot the kids were in her home. That would explain one mad dash, not going back and forward.

Whichever way you cut it, it's odd behaviour. The overwhelming majority of women would not wander back and forward naked in front of their grandsons of this age, when alone with them and when she spends little time with them, and is likely aware regular adult nudity is not how they were brought up.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 08:48:59

and as she was not regularly naked in front of her own son

The OP has said that she would sometimes be naked in front of her DS but not in a exhibitionist kind of way. How do you know it wasn't a regular thing?

I think given the fact she did it in front of her GS that she doesn't see that often and hasn't had them at her houses for a while it is just something she does regularly.

It's a shame the OP hasn't been back to update. I'd like to know if she has spoken to MIL.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 09:03:24

I guess, for me sometimes doesn't mean regularly or often, but it's open to interpretation. I'd have thought if this is what she does the husband would have said so.

I'd be curious to know what the mother in law said also.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 09:15:44

Bluelady has actually said nothing of the sort. It just goes to show how people make it up as they go along. Our kids are all grown up so the days of their friends staying overnight have gone. I said that I'd move between rooms naked when there were other people in the house, if anyone catches a glimpse of my arse as I flit across the landing they're unlikely to be traumatised as in all probability they feel the same as I do about nudity.

beingthere Wed 01-Aug-18 11:56:06

*Bluelady

Bluelady has actually said nothing of the sort*

Are you talking to yourself? hmm

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 11:59:35

RTFT or at least back as far as 22.42.

beingthere Wed 01-Aug-18 12:00:28

Did you have a name change fail lol?!

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 12:04:02

Read 22.42 and all will be revealed. And I've never changed my name.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 12:05:27

Its obvious that Bluelady is talking about herself in the 9.15 post and didn't NC fail.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 12:10:47

Thanks Duck - thought I was losing the plot!

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 12:11:44

grin

beingthere Wed 01-Aug-18 12:12:05

Why would anyone talk about themselves in the third person?! 😂

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 12:16:32

Too confusing for you?

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 12:57:52

Whoa - so this is why you think we wear clothes in public?

Clothing was invented when early humans moved north from Africa and found it was too cold up here without being covered.

We are born without clothes and 'modesty' is just an artificial construct.
It is the hiding away of 'secret' parts of the body that makes them attractive and subject to unhealthy attraction. And it positively encourages pornography to see forbidden things.

Anyone who has grown up in a family that is open about their bodies, or who has spent time in a naturist resort, will tell you that there is no embarrassment whatever between the sexes or ages because body parts are just boring.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 13:44:45

It is the hiding away of 'secret' parts of the body that makes them attractive and subject to unhealthy attraction. And it positively encourages pornography to see forbidden things. Anyone who has grown up in a family that is open about their bodies, or who has spent time in a naturist resort, will tell you that there is no embarrassment whatever between the sexes or ages because body parts are just boring

Actually, this is total nonsense, if you read up or watch documentaries on tribes where partial or full nudity is common, the men are still atrracted to women's breasts, bottoms, vulva etc, it makes no difference. There is also nothing unhealthy about normal sexual attraction,

And as for no embarassement between the ages for those who grow up round a nudist family, that's also bullshit. If you watch or read up on it kids when they hit about 12 upwards are very often embarrassed, in addition we have a friend who grew up with nudist parents and he found it, and still finds it as a man in his forties, embarrassing as did most of the kids he met at these camps.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:18:54

Actually I think the 'naked is great' camp would be surprised by the TRUE feelings of their children in this. It's the equivalent of women saying, oh but my kids LOOOVE my partner. No, you do, and you expect everyone to go along with it regardless of how they feel.
The concern here is how uncomfortable the boys were. Not the fact that she was walking around nude which she's entitled to do. Of course she is, alone, but it takes a special kind of stupid not to consider for a minute, that 12 year olds may find it embarrassing or worse. Especially since the OP points out it definitely wasn't by accident, as she did it twice knowing they could see.
Being naked in your home is fine. Although, as Blue admitted she is naked with non family members in her house, it takes psychic ability to know your guests are comfortable with that, or rather, fuck anyone with a problem as it's your house.
Whatever, I stand by the fact it is weird, borderline pervy and totally out of order to get your kit off in front of someone else's kids. If anyone thinks that normal, then it explains why abuse is so widespread, particularly considering the total dismissal of the kids feelings in the matter. End of.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:23:03

I don't think anyone has dismissed that the boys were embarrassed.

And I cannot take anything you say seriously when you state it's " borderline pervy " hmm

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:25:06

Ok then. It's pervy.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:28:11

If you're walking about naked in front of friends, their kids and their husbands who aren't nudists, but simply because they are in your house, you feel you've rhe right and don't care if they glimpse your "bare arse" , I think most folks would think it borderline pervy.

I think the difference of opinion is between giving consideration to others v giving consideration only to ones self.

And yeah, I think there is something very odd about folks who insist on being naked in front of their friends and family given half a chance.

It's so look at me, I'm so cool, I don't care who sees my bits, I'm so uninhibited. Eh no you're not, you're just being a twat.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:29:39

I can't get to grips how your mind works to say that.

Do you think she had some ulterior motive when she walked around naked in front of her son too then? A bit of an Oedipus thing going on?

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:32:26

Who me?

No, because he said it was only sometimes and not exhibitionist. As said to be sometimes does not translate to often.

I've no idea why she did it in front of the grandkids but I think it's very odd she did. I would not find a mad dash to the bedroom or something so odd, but wandering back and forward knowing they can see her, so assuming she can also see them, I find discomfiting, yes, and I'd find it just as discomfiting if a man did it in front of his granddaughters when alone with them. I amnt going to give her a pass because she's female.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 14:33:59

It's only "perry" if you are unable to separate nakedness from sexuality. If that's the case, it's quite sad.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:36:16

I also would put 'sometimes' with 'occasionally' meaning not very often. The fact she's done it on the rare occasion she looks after the boys, suggests otherwise.
Duck if I came to your house then removed my clothes would that be ok? Doubt it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:36:48

No, Nike.

Anyway I'm bored of this now 😴

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 14:38:07

Blue I can separate the two. I'd just think she was weird. A child just going into puberty, may struggle. That's the problem.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 14:48:03

I can also separate the two, I just don't understand this "need" for it, it's not hard to shove a towel or robe on. And again, as Nike said the point is this was in front of her two grandsons she hardly sees. Only someone with severe problems wouldn't know this may cause the children a problem. Why deliberately embarrass them? And her nudity was clearly deliberate.

Bluelady Wed 01-Aug-18 16:31:24

Nike, you'd never cross my doorstep. We'd clearly never agree on anything and I'm quite fussy about my guests. Anyway, like Duck, I'm bored with this too.

Stormi12 Wed 01-Aug-18 19:36:35

OP. You are right. This is unacceptable. Your mil is disgusting. No more babysitting until a conversation is had. And your husband is the one to have it. His mother, his problem.

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 20:08:09

as for no embarassement between the ages for those who grow up round a nudist family, that's also bullshit. If you watch or read up on it kids when they hit about 12 upwards are very often embarrassed, in addition we have a friend who grew up with nudist parents and he found it, and still finds it as a man in his forties, embarrassing as did most of the kids he met at these camps.

Well he must have gone to a very different camp or beach to those we have been to. Three generations all relaxing, swimming or playing sports together. Totally without inhibition or hangups and in all looking forward to the next visit.
I have never heard anyone, child or adult, say that they didn't like it or didn't want to go again. The whole point about open nudity is that everyone is so used to unclothed bodies is that becomes unremarkable, even boring. It means no more to see a penis than to see a nose. It just isn't noticed.
However I can see that no one here is going to be convinced.

RoseWhiteTips Wed 01-Aug-18 20:11:29

The whole point about open nudity is that everyone is so used to unclothed bodies is that becomes unremarkable, even boring.

That is utter rot.

Bluntness100 Wed 01-Aug-18 20:13:57

Total bullshit.

Just watch some documentaries on it, plenty of kids interviewed who find it deeply embarrassing. Yes they go and join in becayse they have to, but they find it embarrassing and would prefer clothed and tend not to tell their friends what their parents do.

niketrainersarecomfy Wed 01-Aug-18 22:44:44

Agree to disagree, i am so far from nudity being normal that i have nothing further to add. If it works for others fair play.
Night folks.

GladAllOver Wed 01-Aug-18 22:51:29

That is utter rot.

Wonderful! Prejudice trumps actual experience.

Goodnight and sweet dreams smile

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Aug-18 07:18:23

How is it prejudice? I specifically stated I'd watched a couple of programs on it, as well as having a friend whose parents are nudists. Second hand experience maybe, but not prejudice. And I think you know you're going too far when you say all kids just love it.

You must know that's not true when they get to 11/12 plus. They become self conscious of their bodies and others.

You would have way more credibility if you said, yeah some kids are awkward at that age, but get over it, instead of a blanket everyone loves it and are all happy naked together statement.

In addition how can you even be "prejudiced" against nudity? Skin colour, religion, sure, but nudists? Cmon.

GladAllOver Thu 02-Aug-18 09:58:58

Really, Bluntness, where do you get all that from?

How is it prejudice? I specifically stated I'd watched a couple of programs on it, as well as having a friend whose parents are nudists. Second hand experience maybe, but not prejudice.
You've seen two programmes that say nudism is bad? I don't suppose you can remember the titles or channels? I'd love to see them. As for what your friend says, I have a friend who insists that Brexit will be wonderful. Does that make it true?

And I think you know you're going too far when you say all kids just love it.
You've made that up. I did not say all kids love it. How could they, when all kids haven't experienced it, and with parents like you they will never have the chance. I said "I have never heard anyone, child or adult, say that they didn't like it."

You must know that's not true when they get to 11/12 plus. They become self conscious of their bodies and others.
Of course. I went through that stage. And it was easy for me when I had already learned that my body, while private to me, was nothing to ashamed of and didn't need to be hidden away.
I also learned that I didn't have to worry about 'does my bum look good in this' or 'does this bra top give me a nice cleavage' because I had seen every shape and size of body and realised how foolish and artificial that is.

You would have way more credibility if you said, yeah some kids are awkward at that age, but get over it, instead of a blanket everyone loves it and are all happy naked together statement.
Again, you've made that up. I have never said that everyone loves it. Only that those I have met who have experienced it have been very content. I can't speak for others - that would be prejudice.

In addition how can you even be "prejudiced" against nudity? Skin colour, religion, sure, but nudists? Cmon.
Prejudice means, literally. pre-judging. You are judging people who enjoy a happy, liberating experience without trying it yourself.

Anyway this thread has drifted far from its original purpose and it is no longer getting anywhere, so I will leave you to your prejudice.

RoseWhiteTips Thu 02-Aug-18 13:06:26

Nudists are embarrassing and always a bit repulsive. That’s what other people think of you.
HTH

WaxOnFeckOff Thu 02-Aug-18 13:18:57

I think nudists as opposed to people who are uninhibited are too different groups tbh. The fisrt group seems a bit forced and strange whereas the latter don't so much. I guess I'm going from the videos we've all seen with the camps of nudists playing badminton in the nude or sitting having tea and watching tv in the nude etc compared to people not caring if they happen to be seen in the nude getting changes at a beach/going topless to avoid tan lines or being naked in their own home while in the process of getting dressed/undressed rather than generally going about all their daily lives naked.

I don't think the body is anything to be ashamed off but at the same time I prefer to keep mine private and would consider other people's modesty too.

Bluelady Thu 02-Aug-18 13:20:12

I don't. HTH.

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Aug-18 13:20:36

You've seen two programmes that say nudism is bad

For Christ's sake. I never said I saw any program that said nudism was bad. I said I saw a couple of documentaries and the teenage kids were embarrassed and didn't really want their friends to know.

And as for all the immature "you made that up"crap. We aren't at school. Argue like an adult. Your post indicated that kids involved in this scene loved it. My point, as you know was many kids involved in this scene don't love it. They'd rather their parents weren't nudists. They go along with it, sure they have fun, but at a certain age a lot of them become embarrassed by it and would rather more mainstream holidays rather than hanging out with a bunch of naked adults.

And what's even more interesting is many of the kids subjected to this, do not subject their own kids to it, and do not become nudists as adults, they stop it as soon as they are able.

PositiveProton Thu 02-Aug-18 13:55:33

confused 2 pages in and people are talking about how their dad whipped his willy out to use the loo whilst they soaked in the bath and grandmas wandering around, casually airing their vaginas... nope nope nope. Nope train to nopesville.

Moussemoose Thu 02-Aug-18 14:40:00

Obvious we need to listen to children. However, if we use whether a 12 year old is embarrassed about something as a yardstick to measure if something is a good idea we may as well all buy grey cardies and stay home.

At a certain age everything your parents do is embarrassing. Embarrassment is a social construct. One of the difficulties is teaching children what is normal and what is not.

Being naked is (can be) normal, acting in certain ways while naked or fully clothed is the issue. They need to identify the behaviours that are wrong not merely embarrassing.

RoseWhiteTips Thu 02-Aug-18 15:03:18

If a 12 year old mentions it - male or female - they are feeling a bit weird about it and probably seeking reassurance. Why on earth would anyone think it is fine for a young person to have even one thought about something like this?

RoseWhiteTips Thu 02-Aug-18 15:04:47

Why would a grandmother do this in front of her grandchildren? It is just wrong.

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Aug-18 15:12:47

To be fair, I don't think The tv documentaries have helped the nudism cause, there was a whole series about it a few years back, and it was mainly watched for its comedic and voyeuristic value,not helped my media articles mocking it, and shots of horrified looking kids wanting to keep their pants on and not see willies, boobs, and bare arses everywhere.

You then had naked people shopping in on site supermarkets wearing sun hats and shoes, waving at each other, and playing sporting events and jiggling in a way no one needed to see. Carefully putting towels down before they sat down shudder

There is always going to be small sub section of the population who like that and think it's natural, and well, everyone else really, who think it's weird and secretly pervy/exhibitionist.

niketrainersarecomfy Thu 02-Aug-18 15:39:00

Nope train to nopesville grin

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