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Heartbroken that I'm being forced to sell mum's house, she worked hard for it and paid her national insurance

(1000 Posts)
Jkoakham Wed 25-Jul-18 09:28:52

And now her savings are running out I will need to sell her house to carry on funding it.

It all seems to very unfair, her house was supposed to be passed to me but instead it's affectively passed to government and private companies.

I thought the dimentia tax had been can cancelled?

Bluelady Wed 25-Jul-18 09:40:19

I understand but I don't agree with you. All of us need to consider how we're going to pay for care in our old age if we need it. A house is an asset and, once liquid savings have gone, it has to go into the pot. Of course you could care for your mum in her own home, then the house would be safe.

Piffle11 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:40:38

I think the NI conts are paid in order to qualify for pensions and other benefits - pretty sure they don't pay towards care. I presume your DM is claiming a pension?

youknowwherethecityis Wed 25-Jul-18 09:41:19

NI also goes towards things like pensions plus all the years of healthcare she has received throughout her life. Is she going to give all her years of pension back?

I just don't understand why anyone doesn't understand that a person no longer needs their house if they are in a care home. So of course it should be sold for their care.

hesbeeneatingapotato Wed 25-Jul-18 09:42:21

Vladimir - I may be a bit outdated, but once someone's personal assets in saving/property drop beneath £14500, the LA steps in and does an assessment. They're then given a set amount, FNC, potentially full CHC funding. Sometimes social workers will base the amount on the minimum the hone is willing to accept, if it's less, they need to top up from their pension.

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes Wed 25-Jul-18 09:42:40

Gromance I don't think it is the case now that people with/without assets are receiving the same sort of care. IIRC having assets means you have choice, the better places charge a lot more; so done without assets has to go wherever placed whether it is the preferred place or not.

Bombardier25966 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:44:00

Have you looked into CHC funding?

Is it actual healthcare needs that she has, or more general looking after/ personal care?

eightfacesofthemoon Wed 25-Jul-18 09:44:02

Most people do something clever with their home before they end up in this situation, put it in trust or leave it to children early etc.
Sadly these are things you must think about before you get to this stage.

National insurance isn’t just for healthcare either.

Sadly it’s just life, you can be upset about it, but this is why people need to plan for their old age properly, not just expect things without any actual knowledge

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 25-Jul-18 09:45:36

I can't believe the nasty replies on this thread.
It is a fucking disgrace that people work all their lives and have to sell their homes to fund their care. What happens to the National insurance that we pay. I'll slither around on the floor before I sell my home.
I'll hold my hands up I do want my dd to inherit what I've worked for.

VladmirsPoutine Wed 25-Jul-18 09:46:29

On a thread not too long ago someone said their mum's care home was something in the region of 1k a week. I thought that must have been a typo but alas not. I'm wondering how anyone can afford 'quality' care tbh, short of being a multi-millionaire not an owner of a house somewhere in East Yorkshire.

Glumglowworm Wed 25-Jul-18 09:47:39

I’m sorry that you’re going through this but YABU.

She worked hard for her house. You didn’t. Why should everyone else pay so that you can inherit something you didn’t earn?

MarieMorgan Wed 25-Jul-18 09:47:47

Vladmirs - if you don't have your own funds then state will pay but you won't get the choice you have if you fund your own care. I do think some of the comments on here unfair and wonder how many commenting have been/are going to be luck enough to get an inheritance. As another poster above says I do think the cost of care in old age should be a pooled risk, not a lottery. That's how the health care system works so not sure why social care should be any different. Also think what is classed as health care and what is social care is unfair and drive more by funding constraints than logic.

Ivorbig1 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:47:51

She sounds like she is receiving social care, that is not funded if people can’t afforded to pay for it themselves.
Health care is defined differently to include hospital treatment/care and a paid for by NI.
I think that’s correct, happy to be corrected if not.

Singlenotsingle Wed 25-Jul-18 09:48:13

Haven't you got any accommodation where she could live, OP? Our df lived in our annex happily for 8 years until he died.

BigChocFrenzy Wed 25-Jul-18 09:48:31

Of course having assets means choice.
I arranged that my mum spent her last years in a home that was nearly 5k per month, which was the rate for a really good standard of care in our area.
A couple of homes I viewed were where the council sent people - they were depressing and horrible, but they are where people without assets go

Really good care is damn expensive, worth saving for

Gromance02 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:48:44

All those saying it is acceptable, I assume that if you needed to stay somewhere long term for a disease that happened to not be dementia, eg, cancer, you would think it OK to lose your home to pay for it? Thought not.

BMW6 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:48:45

Your Mums NI contributions have more than likely been spent already on her healthcare and State Pension.

You want to inherit her house and not have to sell it to pay for her residential care? Move her in with you, or move in with her at the house, and look after her yourself.

Why the fuck should everyone else fund your inheritance??????

postcardsfrom Wed 25-Jul-18 09:49:39

YAbu - be thankful that she has an asset to pay for decent care or you’d be struggling to pay for it yourself.

NataliaOsipova Wed 25-Jul-18 09:50:29

I feel like she should be given a refund for all her ni if it's not getting the care she needs

It's part of being in a welfare state. It's not a Christmas club. You don't get back exactly what you put in. In fact, if you've got kids and they go to state schools, unless you're a higher rate taxpayer by a long way and for a long time you take out rather than contribute.

We can fund everything for an ageing population. We can provide gold plated cutlery in care homes. We can protect your inheritance. But the tax burden on the working population will be so high that, ultimately, all the young people will leave....

BigChocFrenzy Wed 25-Jul-18 09:51:14

I live in Germany, where there has been a separate care tax for the last 25 years or so.
Even that is supposed to help fund care - mainly in the home - it wouldn't stretch to cover all costs for a care home

Ivorbig1 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:51:15

Yabu she has assets and should fund her care. Who else do you think should fund it so that you can obtain money you didn’t earn?

SmileSweetly Wed 25-Jul-18 09:51:39


NI is not just for healthcare. There is not enough money in the NI pot to fund nursing homes, the system wouldn't work.

It is our own responsibility to make provision for our own old age, if you cannot look after your DM yourself then her assets will need to be used.

You cannot expect the government to fund her nursing home care so that you can inherit her assets.

Gromance02 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:52:54

You cannot expect the government to fund her nursing home care so that you can inherit her assets I will ensure I have fuck all in assets by the time I'm around 70 then.

LordEmsworth Wed 25-Jul-18 09:53:26

So she's saved all her life for a rainy day, and now it's a rainy day and you don't think she should use her savings to pay for it - she should give them to you instead?

Maelstrop Wed 25-Jul-18 09:53:27

Having a mil with vascular dementia, there is no way we could look after her. In her specialist home, she has pressure pads in her room so the staff can tell if she’s up and about, staff who are trained to deal. There is no way we could look after her. Yes, people work hard for their homes and yes, it’s a shame to have to sell it, but what would you like to happen? No way does NI cover 24/7 specialist care. I’m fully expecting one of my parents to need end of life care, both heading for 80. They’re on about me inheriting the house. I’m not counting on anything because you never know what will happen and where people will end up.

Fitzsimmons Wed 25-Jul-18 09:53:33

Unless she has been a higher rate tax payer her entire life then she won't have paid enough into "the pot" to cover everything she has benefited from including the NHS, infrastructure, policing, etc. Most people are net gainers, rather than net contributers. They just don't like the idea of it because it lumps them with those on benefits. So your argument about national insurance isnt really valid. I really don't see why I should pay more tax to fund the care of someone who can pay it themselves just so you have something to inherit.

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