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Heartbroken that I'm being forced to sell mum's house, she worked hard for it and paid her national insurance

(1000 Posts)
Jkoakham Wed 25-Jul-18 09:28:52

And now her savings are running out I will need to sell her house to carry on funding it.

It all seems to very unfair, her house was supposed to be passed to me but instead it's affectively passed to government and private companies.

I thought the dimentia tax had been can cancelled?

EthelHornsby Wed 25-Jul-18 09:31:30

So you think someone else should fund your inheritance?

PaulRuddislush Wed 25-Jul-18 09:32:20

YABU. Massively.

Maelstrop Wed 25-Jul-18 09:32:42

Is she going into a home? We sold mil’s house to fund her nursing home. Who do you think should pay it? Your national insurance does not pay for a nursing home.

Anxious2niteaaah Wed 25-Jul-18 09:33:06

We need more information op, why is it being sold?..is she in a nursing home and it's being sold to pay for her care?...is she in debt and it's being sold to pay her debts off?...

HuckfromScandal Wed 25-Jul-18 09:33:37

Wow, so you should have your inheritance protected, and we should fund her care??

I do understand why you are upset, but you are being massively unreasonable.

AnyFucker Wed 25-Jul-18 09:33:37

Goodness me. I can see the pound signs from here.

toolonglurking Wed 25-Jul-18 09:33:40

I know it must be very difficult for you, but I don't for a second believe a home should pass on to the children through inheritance when there are bills to pay.

Omgineedanamechange Wed 25-Jul-18 09:34:09

The “dementia tax” was for care in their own home. Presumably your mother is in a care home which has to be paid for, and always has been.

Celebelly Wed 25-Jul-18 09:34:09

I don't think you are unreasonable. It's very sad sad I wish there was a better way of dealing with it.

scaryteacher Wed 25-Jul-18 09:34:21

I think, had the so called dementia tax been introduced, your Mum could have kept more from her assets than is currently the case iirc. Care has to be funded from somewhere, and sadly the costs aren't reasonable.

I read yesterday the current thinking is to charge each of us £30k on retirement to help with any care fees and out it into a central fund. People will be forced to downsize to get the money.

runningkeenster Wed 25-Jul-18 09:34:30

I don't think you are being unreasonable because the risks for dementia/Parkinsons etc should be pooled in the same way as if you were diagnosed with cancer or heart disease. It IS unfair and I think you should get to keep a lot more than £23,000.

Hopefully, eventually, the government will grasp the mettle and actually do something. Germany introduced a care tax 20 years ago.

It's not just about dementia either - lots of elderly people can manage in their own homes with help, but that help is not readily available unless you pay for it even though it's much cheaper to help someone stay in their homes than pay for a care home.

Bombardier25966 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:34:33

The dementia tax was not brought in, but care funding is still means tested unless your mum qualifies for continuing healthcare funding (and even then you might still need to top up the fees).

If you want to keep the house in the family, can you can you not buy it? There's no right to an inheritance, so whilst I can understand your upset, you are being unreasonable.

gamerchick Wed 25-Jul-18 09:35:03

But I thought that was the whole point of encouraging people to buy houses... So they could fund their old age if they needed care. confused

MissGiddyPants Wed 25-Jul-18 09:35:50

Well it does fund it if you don't have any savings. And people who pay themselves are charged considerably more than those who get paid for by the state.

My dad was bloody delighted he never had to pay for care and he could leave his house to his children.

lastnightidreamtofpotatoes Wed 25-Jul-18 09:36:23

I assume that she has had to go into a home of some sort? If that is the case then it has to be paid for somehow. As hard as it may be not getting any inheritance think of it as your mum working hard and in return getting good quality care. I think nowadays home owners need to view their homes not as passing it down to the next generation, but as an insurance for the best care they can buy in old age.

Jkoakham Wed 25-Jul-18 09:36:35

She's in a home, has been for the last 16 months. What is ni for if it isn't for heath care? I feel like she should be given a refund for all her ni if it's not getting the care she needs

PickAChew Wed 25-Jul-18 09:36:41

This has been the case for long before the so called dementia tax was mentioned. So much so that some crook of an "advisor" tried to convince mil to pay for a dodgy piece of paper that would allegedly stop that from happening if fil went into a home.

Gromance02 Wed 25-Jul-18 09:38:22

YANBU. It is disgusting that someone that has worked all of their life can lose their home while someone that hasn't earned anything gets taken care of in exactly the same way. Bonkers system.

It will encourage people to sell equity in their home (even if it means losing 50%) and just pissing it away. Better that than it all being eaten up by care fees. I'd hope my parents do this and enjoy their OWN money than the alternative.

PaulRuddislush Wed 25-Jul-18 09:38:26

Look after her yourself if you're so desperate to get your mitts on her money.

Hideandgo Wed 25-Jul-18 09:38:40

The house was her security, and now she needs it to live. Thank goodness she has it. Sorry that you were counting on inheriting but would you want to be tied to the lowest level of care the government would provide in your old age? Try to focus on how good it is that your mum has the resources she needs to be as comfortable as possible in her last years.

HariboIsMyCrack Wed 25-Jul-18 09:38:41

Sorry to hear about your mum. Unfortunately none of us pay enough NI to fund years of FT nursing care. You are not giving the money to the government or companies, you are paying for her to be looked after.

It does feel unfair when others get it for nothing. You will be able to save (iirc) about £23k and then the state will fund her care.

The dementia tax (again, iirc) would have capped the amount anyone paid to about £55k so would have been better for most people in your position.

VladmirsPoutine Wed 25-Jul-18 09:38:47

How do those without tangible assets like houses pay for care homes and the like? Just curious - I've no opinion on this one way or the other suffice to say that if you can afford the best possible care then go that road.

gamerchick Wed 25-Jul-18 09:39:12

Why dont you buy the house if it's that important to you? Being stroppy about it won't get you anywhere.

PickAChew Wed 25-Jul-18 09:40:05

And NI is for a lot of things and even a lifetime's contributions aren't enough to cover old age care costs. It is also not a personal insurance plan. It helps to make sure that even those who can not work their whole lives, through no fault of their own, are also supported. It's how society looks after each other.

Maybe put down that daily mail, eh?

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