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AIBU?

Teacher telling girls to wear shorts over pants if their dress/skirt is too short

112 replies

Justcheckingimnotmad · 21/07/2018 16:16

Hi,

My daughter's last day of school yesterday (she's 8) and as she was getting dressed in the morning she said her teacher had told her that she had to wear shorts if she was wearing a dress.

I discussed this with my daughter, i.e. would it be ok if she wore swimsuit or tankini bottoms instead? Her pants are covering her private area so why cover up what's already covered up? Did she know why she'd been told this? (She didn't).

Anyway, I gave the teacher the benefit of the doubt as I know innocent comments can be misinterpreted by kids.

After school I talked to the teacher and she said that she had told her class that if, on the last day, they were wearing dresses too short then they should wear shorts so they don't show their pants on the climbing frames. She laughed and said it wasn't school policy.

AIBU to be fuming?

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KeepServingTheDrinks · 21/07/2018 16:20

It's immaterial whether you're fuming or not. Your DD is off school for 6 weeks now. Are you really going to hang onto this anger for that length of time and then go in guns blazing in September when the weather's going to be cooler anyway and it'll soon be tights and leggings weather?

Most kids wear uniform that's too small by the end of the summer term because what parent's going to buy something new in July which will be outgrown by September.

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BottleOfJameson · 21/07/2018 16:24

I don't think I'd be fuming about it. I know it's not a policy at my DC's school as I've been flashed by almost every girl in the school. Personally I'm not that bothered if I or someone else sees their knickers but I can also understand why people would think flashing knickers isn't appropriate (you wouldn't expect kids to be running around in only their knickers for example).

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Justcheckingimnotmad · 21/07/2018 16:24

I'm not going to hang onto anger (I'm too lazy to be angry after a couple of days) but I do plan to talk to the school after the holidays. I just don't feel it's the right message to give children.

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OneStepSideways · 21/07/2018 16:27

I think the teacher is right tbh, if they want to wear short dresses it's common sense to wear shorts over their undies. Or at least soft shorts instead of knickers. I'd want my daughter to feel comfortable climbing, cartwheeling etc without worrying her knickers are on show. At 8 other children will make fun over things like that.

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LucyLou49 · 21/07/2018 16:30

It's policy at our school that shorts are worn under skirts/dresses. The girls spend more time upside down doing handstands and cartwheels than they do upright!

Doesn't bother me. My daughter wouldn't be happy without shorts anyway, she often comes home with her PE shorts underneath as she wants longer and more baggy shorts than the fitted style I bought her.

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Littlebluebird123 · 21/07/2018 16:31

Some children don't wear knickers, some spend time with their hands down their pants (harder to do with shorts) and some get rope/slide burns in sensitive areas. You can't mention these things but you can suggest to the whole class that you'd rather not see their underwear so can they wear shorts please - lighthearted way of mentioning it perhaps?
In our school, most of the girls from 8 upwards wear shorts, playsuit or skorts as their choice.
I think fuming is an over reaction. As you're assuming it's something sinister.

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Justcheckingimnotmad · 21/07/2018 16:34

I'm confused. Should kids all wear boxers instead then? I thought underwear was to cover private areas? In my mind my daughter has been told to wear modesty shorts.

To clarify, she was never bothered or teased about pants when playing. I completely agree if a child is conscious then they should be encouraged to do whatever makes them comfortable. My daughter was never aware this was a thing before her teacher made it a thing.

Thank you for all your viewpoints

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LockedOutOfMN · 21/07/2018 16:36

I presume the students who wear boxer shorts style underwear and loose shorts or trousers are also required to wear shorts over their underwear to prevent the waistband being revealed. Hmm

Fuming might not be the word but I'm with OP on this one. At least it's not school policy.

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Bezm · 21/07/2018 16:38

Lots of the girls in my school wear shorts under their dresses and skirts. No one has told them to do so, but as we have a climbing frame thingy on the playground they find it much more enjoyable if they're not constantly pulling their skirts down. There's a trend now for summer school dresses as playsuits, i.e. Shorts, but again these have their challenges. Lots of little girls can't get them in and off easily when going to the loo!
The other thing is lots of children sit on the floor in school, and far too often they're showing their pants and often more! Whilst no teacher would want to make a big deal if this, often other children do notice and may pass comment. Yo could argue that having all children wear trousers as uniform would address this, lots of girls do like to wear skirts.

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BottleOfJameson · 21/07/2018 16:39

I think underwear itself is considered private in most contexts. Most of us would take steps to make sure we weren't showing off our underwear while wearing dresses. Obviously quite rightly kids shouldn't be worrying about that and should feel free to do handstands and climb etc so shorts seem fairly sensible. Obviously you could argue that since they're only kids it doesn't matter if they show off their knickers but people would also say they are getting to an age where it's inappropriate.

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Justcheckingimnotmad · 21/07/2018 16:40

Sorry, I accept fuming is totally overreacting. I was trying to think how to finish with an aibu question. I should have said disappointed or bewildered.

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Freetodowhatiwant · 21/07/2018 16:44

I think this makes perfect sense, I have boys but I always feel a bit sorry for girls who might feel a bit restricted by their clothing. Most young girls don’t care but as they get a bit older they start to not want to show their knickers and stop doing cartwheels and other fun things. This is said to be one of the reasons some girls give up sport. It’s also why, when I was old enough to go clubbing and wear tiny skirts and dance on the bar, my friends and I always wore a pair of hot pants rather than knickers 😀

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Booboostwo · 21/07/2018 16:50

So what about boys? If they wear loose boxers and shorts it is possible that a testicle will be partly visible when they climb but has anyone ever mentioned modesty dress recommendations for boys?

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Birdsgottafly · 21/07/2018 16:51

Is it really appropriate if you have a girl that likes to climb/physical play, that you put them in a dress? Girls are often hindered by feminine clothing and the one's who dress their girls like little princess, but won't let them get dirty, really annoy me.

We can't show our knickers in the workplace, school is supposed to mirror that. There isn't anything sexual implied.

It also stops any embarrassment over stains as well, as primary school children are still perfecting wiping etc. As well as any Girl who starts her periods at Primary school.

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Birdsgottafly · 21/07/2018 16:54

Booboostwo , I've been around lots of children through my lifetime, I've never seen that. But if it did happen, I'm sure that the Parent would be spoken to. Most boys primary school boys wear the knicker type briefs, not boxer shorts. We are talking about the under 10's.

Knee length shorts are also worn by the boys for swimming, with a swim net in, to keep everything tucked away.

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BottleOfJameson · 21/07/2018 16:55

So what about boys? If they wear loose boxers and shorts it is possible that a testicle will be partly visible when they climb but has anyone ever mentioned modesty dress recommendations for boys? I think people probably would say something if boys were showing their testicles! I've never seen that happen but have seen almost all the girls knickers in DC's school - from handstands or from sitting with their legs open during school events. Personally I don't really care but it's not too much of a stretch to realise that showing your underwear isn't generally deemed appropriate.

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Queenofthestress · 21/07/2018 16:59

Completely normal, it's mandatory in my Ds's school that if they're wearing dresses they need hotpants or shorts underneath, it was also mandatory in my own primary school

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redexpat · 21/07/2018 17:02

Im with you op. If they need extra clothing in order to behave as normal children do then the uniform isnt fit for purpose. Making a big deal of being able to see girls' knickers is the thin edge of a patriarchal wedge. Its the first stage in holding girls responsible for the behaviour of others.

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Birdsgottafly · 21/07/2018 17:08

""If they need extra clothing in order to behave as normal children do then the uniform isnt fit for purpose.""

I think that if it was up to most Schools, the Uniform would be unisex. But Parents would object so they have to have skirts and dresses as part of the choice. But they aren't appropriate for play.

How many Adult Women wear skirt and above the knee dresses when they are doing sports/active hobbies?

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fantasmasgoria1 · 21/07/2018 17:09

I don’t agree with the teacher, it wasn’t school policy so it isn’t up to her to make up rules. My dd wore smart trousers to school and thinner ones in the summer.

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Birdsgottafly · 21/07/2018 17:10

It's the patriarchy that wanted us in skirts/dresses and not joining in with boisterous play.

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Justcheckingimnotmad · 21/07/2018 17:16

Thank you so much everyone for each answer.

Can I please ask a question of those who agree that pants should be covered by shorts. Would it be ok if instead of pants the child was wearing tankini bottoms or a leotard.

Please understand I am not dismissing anyone's opinion but I just love to hear other viewpoints I haven't thought of.

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Minisoksmakehardwork · 21/07/2018 17:17

As far as I am concerned girls knickers adequately cover their private parts. I had the same conversation with my dc's school, where I said that my girls' gymnastics leotards cover less and they perform in arenas where most of the spectators do not have a dbs. The response to my query as to was this now policy was a teacher had asked the older girls to cover up when they were doing handstands/somersaults.

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fantasmasgoria1 · 21/07/2018 17:19

Birds gotta fly I totally agree with you.

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Thedutchwife · 21/07/2018 17:22

I think some posters are missing the bigger picture.

If there private areas are being covered why do the girls still need to be shielded by the boys/men’s looks. It’s such ingrained misogyny most people don’t even realise it

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