Ive suffered multiple miscarriages recently and I am struggling so much with this loneliness I am feeling. I can feel myself sinking into depression.
I am TTC my first but everyone in my life has children. Even my partner from a previous relationship. I feel like I have no one who is in the same boat. Who could possibly understand this if they haven't been through it? I know my partner is going through it with me but he also has children already for him it wouldn't be the end of the world if we never did like I feel it would for me.
The cause of our losses is my balanced translocation so there's a very real possibility I may go through this a lot more times. I don't know what to do with myself.
The thought of never having a child makes me want to curl into a ball. I have anxiety and panic attacks where I physically vomit. At the moment I feel I don't want to live if that were my future. I think people feel I'm being dramatic but right now I cant think of anything else.
I thought I was getting better but my best friend has just gleefully sent me pictures of her positive pregnancy test (when she knows everything I'm going through) and I can't help but be anything but happy for her. I haven't even replied. I don't want to know. That makes me an awful friend but I can't.
I have sent a self referral to my local counselling place and I'm waiting to hear from them. I'm lost.
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AIBU?
Not AIBU but I need to talk/type. I've never felt so alone in my life
35 replies
SomethingCleverandWitty · 21/07/2018 15:29
OP posts:
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