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AIBU?

To think this is a dangerous situation?

76 replies

anglicanreed · 19/07/2018 10:25

There's a young woman at work I'm fairly friendly with.

She's 22, has a b/f who lives in his own flat. She lives in a shared house with two male tenants and a male landlord.

Landlord is often abroad and she's made references into the past about being relieved when he's not around.

He's back long term for the summer now and she's basically told me that he's constantly going into her bedroom when she's not there, completely brazen about it, doesn't apologise just does it and claims whatever excuse (putting a lamp back, for example).

The thing is, she's just told me that he keeps walking into her room when he knows she's just got out of the shower.

Coming into her room at night to "check she's ok".

She's upset about it, spoke to her b/f about them moving in together (been together a couple of years) and he said no.

So now she's trapped with this man, who she is scared of.

She's asked him not to come into her room but he persists. She seems to think she's stuck with this situation?

It sounds dangerous to me?

OP posts:
anglicanreed · 19/07/2018 10:26

So sort of an AIBU to think it's dangerous, but also how can I help her?

Oh, she said she's been told by one of the other tenants that the landlord had a fist fight with a previous tenant and left blood all over the hall, stairs and landing for weeks.

OP posts:
RayRayBidet · 19/07/2018 10:34

She needs to find a new place to live.

anglicanreed · 19/07/2018 10:37

Thanks rayray, she's in a contract so worried she will lose money (and can't afford to rent a new place without getting her deposit back).

Is there any way to get out of the contract on the basis of his behaviour?

OP posts:
Queenofthestress · 19/07/2018 10:38

Speak to shelter and CAB

sunshinewithabitofdrizzle · 19/07/2018 10:40

Can she not put a lock on the door? Sounds awful and dangerous.

blackbirdbluebottle · 19/07/2018 10:41

It may be a matter for the police as it could be harassment

sunshinewithabitofdrizzle · 19/07/2018 10:41

Also, if her bf is not prepared to help her get out of a potentially dangerous situation, she should get rid of him.

maxthemartian · 19/07/2018 10:42

I hope she finds a new boyfriend as well Sad

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 19/07/2018 10:43

She definitely needs to get out of that situation. She should check her tenancy agreement to see what it says about the landlord entering her room - I'm pretty sure they have to give you a warning of at least 24 hours before they come in. If he's in breach of the contract then she should be able to leave. I'm not a lawyer or housing specialist though so she should talk to Shelter or CAB for proper advice.

Snowysky20009 · 19/07/2018 10:43

Poor women. Any decent boyfriend would have her moved in with them asap, even if it was just so she could save enough to find another rental.

SometimesMaybe · 19/07/2018 10:45

Would her boyfriend agree to her moving in temporarily till she gets her deposit back?

Otherwise could you help her budget and figure out how long it would take her to get save for the deposit. Show her some light at the end of the tunnel eg 4 or 6 months. Not ideal but she would be out by Xmas. Could she ask her parents for financial help (or could you lend her £100) to get her out quicker?

Storm4star · 19/07/2018 10:45

I'd say put a bolt on the door but the landlord will probably "object" to that. I agree she needs to get some proper advice.

Sammyham88 · 19/07/2018 10:46

I'd be wondering where the relationship was heading if after a few years my partner wasn't ready to move in together but that's not the main issue here.

She should definitely look for somewhere else ASAP, although she'll lose her deposit her landlords actions are really concerning, she shouldn't worry about seeing the end of her contract out as theirs little the landlord could do. Has she spoken to the other housemates about how the LL actions are affecting her? Is she able to fit a lock on her door until she'd be able to move? Can she not stay with her BF for a while until she's able to find a place that is safe?

kaitlinktm · 19/07/2018 10:47

Could she get a door jammer thing to at least stop him entering whilst she is in?

www.google.co.uk/search?q=temporary+lock+for+bedroom+door&source=lnms&tbm=shop&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwijzru58KrcAhWNT8AKHdArDqQQ_AUICigB&biw=1242&bih=577#spd=16368043666359227823

... or one of these

www.lifeventure.com/products/security/travel-door-lock?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9qaevfCq3AIVAs0bCh27mAFUEAkYBiABEgItC_D_BwE

But really they are just temporary measures while she looks for something else - agree about speaking to Shelter and CAB.

FadedRed · 19/07/2018 10:50

As an interim security measure, she could consider the type of door wedge that are available for hotel rooms.
www.tripsavvy.com/ways-to-secure-your-hotel-room-3260236

Cawfee · 19/07/2018 10:53

If he’s coming into her room uninvited and without warning then he’s already broken the terms of the tenancy agreement so she should just find somewhere else to live, pack up her stuff and go. Don’t give him any money

Cawfee · 19/07/2018 10:54

From a legal website
In law, the landlord is obliged to give his tenant 24 hours notice and enter at reasonable times of the day only with the tenant’s explicit permission.

anglicanreed · 19/07/2018 10:55

Thank you, I'll look at the door wedges.

She said the last time he burst in in the middle of the night when she was fast asleep he had some kind of rowdy mate downstairs in the background, too.

She's not really friendly with the other tenants. Neither of them like the landlord but as he's usually abroad they just kind of ignore him. But it's her she's targeting as the only girl.

I kind of surprised he's doing it while she has a boyfriend on the scene, but maybe he's picked up that she's not that protective of her.

She also told me recently that the LL replaced the front door while she was out and didn't tell her. One of the other tenants called her while it was happening so she could come home and get a new key - otherwise she'd have been locked out of her own house with no effort made by the LL to make sure she could get in.

OP posts:
anglicanreed · 19/07/2018 10:56

I'm going to ask her to bring her tenancy agreement in tomorrow.

I might actually pop round tonight to see it with her.

She said it's not a usual tenancy agreement like she's had before as this one allows for a landlord that lives in the property? So perhaps the terms are different re: entering rooms?

OP posts:
SnappyFartyKarate · 19/07/2018 10:58

Get a door stop, just a standard rubber one, and put that under the door when she's in there. It won't damage the door, but he won't get in.
Then tell her to start looking for a new flat to move into as soon as her contract is up, and depending on his own circumstances I'd say look into ditching the boyfriend as well (that last one might just be me though).

MorrisIsClose · 19/07/2018 10:59

That's horrendous! Locks on the door while she finds somewhere else to live.

She MUST find somewhere else to live!

I'm surprised the boyfriend isn't concerned enough to help her out. Even if he doesn't want to move in together yet, he could at least let her stay with him until she finds other accommodation.

nocoolnamesleft · 19/07/2018 10:59

Uhoh. Is she a tenant or a lodger? The latter seem to have rather fewer rights...

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KokoandAllBall · 19/07/2018 11:01

This is one time I think it's worth letting the money go. She needs to get into a safe situation. If she must stay, a door wedge may be helpful except that this arsehole clearly thinks he has some privileges where she's concerned and may get aggressive. He could also walk into her room while she's out/downstairs and be waiting when she comes back in. A disguised recording device might also be helpful but mainly as evidence... I'd just encourage her to get out of there.

And if the boyfriend knows what's going on and won't help her, he's worthless too. Something else she she needs to cut her losses on.

Badgerthebodger · 19/07/2018 11:02

Not sure if she would be classed as a tenant or a lodger, the rules are different if a landlord lives in the property. Agreements are much less binding if the landlord lives there afaik. Definitely speak to Shelter, they will be able to advise. If he has taken a deposit, is it protected ie in one of the government approved deposit schemes? If so the LL will not be able to just take it without entering into a dispute. Sounds horrible for her, she needs to keep safe no matter what the financial impact. And ditch her horrible boyfriend who doesn’t care that she’s in the situation.

anglicanreed · 19/07/2018 11:05

Just checked. She says it's a resident landlord tenancy agreement?

OP posts:
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