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To use the word "naughty"

(406 Posts)
speedymama Tue 29-May-07 09:40:37

DTS are 3 yo and go to nursery. This weekend they chastised me and DH for using that word. They did something that I had asked them not to do and I told them to stop being naughty. DT1 retorted with "don't say naughty, I'm not naughty, you can't say naughty". So I responded with "well stop misbehaving then!"

I spoke to the nursery about this and they confirmed that they are not allowed to use the word naughty because it labels the child rather than the act. Now I'm all for positive parenting but there comes a time when you have to just tell how it is. I don't call my boys name but I do point out their bad behaviour and I also praise them when they are being good. In fact, I praise more than I chastise.

As a child, when my parents told me that I was being naughty, I took notice. Now my 3yo DTS read me the riot act. Well, I will not be dictated to by a toddler and if that makes me a dinosaur in terms of modern day parenting, so be it.

So am I a recalcitrant, anachronistic, old fashioned dinosaur who refuses to indulge the latest fads in parenting as dictated by a bunch of pinko liberal, arm wringing, bleeding heart busybodies?

Teeniebf Fri 01-Jun-07 21:10:42

I have a 3.5yr old DS, who is - to my mind - a normal lively typical boy. On occasions he can be 'naughty' (or please feel free to insert whichever word you prefer to use). His nursery teacher asked me for a word one day and said in her best most serious voice that she was concerned about his behaviour, not paying attention etc and would I mind if she discussed him with the educational pyschologist. To which I thought OMG my son is damaged, what have I done to him?? So before we saw the psychologist we saw a paedatrician who checked him all over and pronounced him fit a well and a normal, if a wee bit immature boy, bearing in mind that he was born premature and was pretty ill for some time. A fact which I had explained to the nursery and they assured me that they would take this into account. Which they quite obviously didn't and prefered to label my son as attention deficit and in the words one helper 'just a naughty boy'!!! So is this a case of my DS's nursery going a bit too far, or me being over sensitive?

SueBaroo Fri 01-Jun-07 17:09:39

I dread to think what would be said when they hear that we say that Dd has done something 'wicked' and not in the slang sense. Whirl round in hand-wringing circles, I dare say.

shhhh Thu 31-May-07 20:33:11

Not read whole thread but the issue around the word naughtly has been an issue for an age.....Honestly it has. I did a bit of summer cover at a local nursery(favour for a woman who I worked with who's silowned a nursery and who was staff down..) so basically around 13/14 years ago.I must have been 14 myself and I remember the staff telling me that the word "naughty" was not to be used. Said it was a negative word and not good for the child who would grow up thinking of themselves as naughty .

Must admit though, don't really use that word much on dd (2 years) maybe I have never needed to BUT I suppose I tell her she shouldn't do something and why blah de dah...

pointydog Wed 30-May-07 18:27:41

does that mean rex is aitch?

pointydog Wed 30-May-07 18:26:47

lol @ pronunication of pork

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:54:15

<buffs nails>

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:42:46

you could tell that from my pronunciation of pork? <applauds>

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:40:55

Bring your Dd to almondvalley heritage centre.

We have ^baby lambs" heiland coos relatively healthy cafe, and baby guinea pigs<faints>

ps the nuserys i mentioned in the thread were all in Edinburgh. You are a weegie aren't you?

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:25:03

aye, pork off.

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:23:14

your obv.

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:22:37

aha yes you dh who pronounces things correctly .

The penny did drop eventually about why no calvinist blood lol!

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:21:11

we're irish a couple back, not many calvinist proles in ireland. dh (east coast, prod) does have some funny ideas, though.

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:18:47

really honest and for true? Lucky you. I am the offspring of those from the north east they are riddled with it lol!

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:15:42

no really... there's no calvinist in my blood. not a drop.

hunkermunker Tue 29-May-07 23:14:19

You're all being very naughty.

Now go and sit on the naughty step and think about how naughty you've been. Naughty children have worms for dinner. Do you want worms?

Well then. Think on.

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:13:07

Calvinist is in your blood. I have to crush mine down regularly.

my Dh is a Lang Toun boy how odd. I was Auld Reekie then Fife unfortunately.

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:11:21

<faints> i don't do calvinist...

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:10:54

lol, dh is a newtown boy. Grothes. hated it.

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:10:22

we could have a good old calvinist rant about People Getting Above Themselves.

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:09:45

Livi Aitch.

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:08:31

where do you live, mrsa? we should meet up and permanently 'label' all these people...

ProjectIcarus Tue 29-May-07 23:05:31

Benign Neglect - I live and breathe benign neglect . dd1 played for an hour today with two stacking cups and a hoop at horsies.

and my dd1 (3) has been in bed since 8 because"I have a busy day tomorrow and need lots of sleep" Self regulating thats the way to do it!

TyrannosaurusRex Tue 29-May-07 23:04:09

mozhe, seriously, i'm all for benign neglect... my dd is not a cossetted child. i just don't want her nursery school teacher telling her she's ' a naughty girl'. is that so crazy?

mozhe Tue 29-May-07 23:00:57

Loveangel ! agreeing to disagree
BTW I agree with you....even more Our children,( in the affluent west ), are the luckiest in ...the world. So chill out MNetters and cultivate a bit of ' benign neglect'...excuse me whilst I go off and get my naughty little DD off to bed..

FrannyandZooey Tue 29-May-07 23:00:18

Ah that book is a blinder, ProjectI

HMC you may well be right, there may be people who are cosseting and over-protecting their children thereby leading them to become too feaful or whatever

but IMO and IME these are not the same people who are saying they feel uncomfortable about their children being labelled as naughty. IME of the posters on this thread disliking the word naughty, those who I know well enough to comment on, have the habit of letting their children get on with life in a very robust way. I think they are some of the least controlling and over-protective parents I know.

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