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Does anyone else wonder about babies they’ve met?

(123 Posts)
LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 00:33:57

When I had DD I ended up being induced by drip 11 months ago and was in hospital for 6 days no real complications just a very busy time.

The woman across from me had her baby taken into care this was arranged when she was 6 months pregnant (I heard all about it from the gossiping ladies, I didn’t have much to say about it) on the first day her family brought her lots of flowers her DP? I assume got very drunk and had to extorted out, the mother didn’t spend a night there as she wanted her own bed.

I often saw him at night when I was feeding DD and during the day as the nursery nurses mostly looked after him, on the day they did his exit check over her sister was there alone with him she had bought him a suit, she was weeping and saying to the doctor how she wished she could care for him 😢 the baby cried so much when the doctor checked him over.

He was taken into care shortly after, I wept so much for this poor boy that day and if I could have I would have taken him myself (ridiculous hormonal me! I struggle with one) but I find myself occasionally looking at my beautiful DD and thinking about that little boy hoping he is in a loving home.

Sorry about the long winded message currently got the flu and feeling a bit emotional. Does anyone else think about babies they’ve met?

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 00:35:05

Escorted out sorry if it’s hard to read my dyslexia likes playing games.

switswoo81 Fri 13-Jul-18 00:45:00

Yes when I had dd a couple of months ago I shared a 2 bed room with a lady who was in Direct Provision ( a Centre for asylum seekers whose claims were being processed, most are ex hotels). She was originally from Cameroon and told me she had asked for a larger room but was told no. Her babies father(he didn’t live with her) only came in for twenty mins even though she waited for him all day. Her little boy was very unsettled and she was quite frustrated with him. I often think of her going back to that tiny hotel room with a baby and no family around.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 00:50:57

@switswoo81 the poor woman it must have been hard, Imcan see why that stayed with you x

Birdsgottafly Fri 13-Jul-18 00:53:57

switswoo81, my DD is Friends with two Asylum seekers (one has the right to remain, the other's application is still ongoing). Both are now settled into their own home, their babies are just turning one and via the Church and Baby Groups they have made a circle of Friends. Hopefully the right referrals were made for her.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 00:56:26

@birdsgottafly I’m glad you’ve posted with a positive message x

DeadBod Fri 13-Jul-18 01:00:15

I once spent the night in hospital with DS and was there for approx 30 hours, all in all. Next to his bed was a 3 year old boy who was going to be taken onto care due to neglect. Not one single person came to visit him and the nurses pushed him around the ward in a pram to keep him occupied. I never saw him speak.
My mum helped feed him at lunchtime as he couldn't use a fork properly and the nurses had left him to feed himself.
This was about 20 years ago and I often wonder what life has been like for him sad

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:04:39

Oh @deadbod I hope as well he found someone to love and care for him x

ChocoholicsAsylum Fri 13-Jul-18 01:05:33

Your post really touched me, Id have been utterly destroyed seeing that!
A little life without his mum just after being born, then his aunty sobbing knowing she wont see him again! Hopefully it was a case he was being adopted to a lovely mum and dad as she didnt want him but maybe didnt believe in terminations/would be too hard if family adopted him. I deffo have tears in my eyes though. X

switswoo81 Fri 13-Jul-18 01:10:06

That’s very hopeful birdsgottafly I hope that is in her future.she was a lovely woman . She was chatting with my mum when she came to visit and told her she had an older son back home with her aunt.
I always do find it fascinating in maternity hospitals the different lives all these little babies go home too.

KnitFastDieWarm Fri 13-Jul-18 01:10:07

Yes, there was a baby on the ward when I had my son who was detoxing sad it was heartbreaking.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:27:27

@Chocoholics I still sometimes feel a little weepy, even my DH was very upset about it we still sometimes discuss it. The nursery nurses were fab giving him cuddles and looking after him but the thought that he went motherless for so long really upset me.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:30:21

I believe it was her 3rd taken into care except this one was no contact and was to be adopted, I remember overhearing her bragging about how her DD who is in foster care would run back to hers until they moved her to another town ☹️ I think he deserves a better life I hope he gets it x

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:31:08

@knitfastdiewarm the poor mite x such a hard start to life xxx

ChocoholicsAsylum Fri 13-Jul-18 01:44:03

@LadyOdd

Yes thats what made me cry (ended up crying when told my kids dad) the fact that although he had nursery nurses, he didnt have his mother and really was infact alone! No mum to snuggle into etc, just heart breaking!!! Although from what you just wrote, sounds like the mother needs to be sterilised! X

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:50:44

@chocoholics my only hope is that she can take step back from her life and see it for what it really is and make changes which mean she can raise a child although I don’t hold out much hope as a lot of women who have their children taken away end up continuing the cycle until their stopped. I hope she’s not back in that hospital putting another poor babe through this.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:52:32

I guess in a way it’s a little knowing that this child even though people don’t know him is being thought about. (A little selfish sorry)

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 01:52:49

A little comforting

ChocoholicsAsylum Fri 13-Jul-18 01:55:16

@LadyOdd
I dont think (I could be wrong) that if you have your children removed several times, you finally get to keep one...not really sure? Like you I hope she sorts her life out and doesnt bring anymore into this world.

I hope you and your own family are fine x

Wonderwine Fri 13-Jul-18 02:00:37

I like to think some have happy endings.
My friend and her DH adopted two half-siblings when they were 6months and 2.5 years.
The younger baby had been removed at birth (think there were drug usage issues) The older one had been terribly neglected and hadn't been weaned so wasn't even eating solid food and was very small for age etc.
They are now teens and doing OK although both have SEN for dyslexia/ADHD etc and a range of other issues.
I am so in awe of my friend and what she has done in giving these kids a chance in life. It has been a terribly tough journey for her/her DH and their own kids.
I often wonder if she would make the same decision if she knew what she does now about how difficult it would be, but she would never say anything and they are brilliant, committed parents.

loopylass13 Fri 13-Jul-18 02:00:41

On the maternity ward there was a woman who must have slept for about ten hours, I don't know what her birth experience was like at all but I was concerned about that baby …. she just wasn't engaging with him/her at all. Staff had to prompt her in the end. I worry about them despite the fact it has been ten years. I hope they found their way.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 02:03:32

I’ve got a stinking cold sadly caught from DD who is currently dream eating next to me. Meant to go on a mini break tomo not sure if that will happen tho 😞 it’s baking hot here reaching 38 no air on so might suck it up and go for a couple of nights of air con.

No planes only train and I would practice excellent hygiene if I went but I do despise people who spread lurgey errgh, I’ll see how I am tomorrow.

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 02:06:00

@wonderwine It’s heartwarming to hear about your friend creating a loving family for her children x

LadyOdd Fri 13-Jul-18 02:08:00

@loopylass I was sooo exhausted after having DD at 4am that I had to be woken twice! I hope that she was able to engage after and the baby is a healthy 10 year old now.

ScattyScorpian Fri 13-Jul-18 02:15:38

About 14 years ago when I was in hospital with my then 4year old I fell in Love with a baby called Bernie..no one ever came to visit him although I have a vague memory of a member of staff saying the family was from Ireland (I'm Northumberland)...
I could not get Bernie out of my head even when my child was discharged...it was so strange to feel so much love for a child I know nothing about and was not related, but it did. And I still think of him to this day <3

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