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To think that taking part in a charity fundraiser doesn't excuse this behaviour...

(30 Posts)
ChipTheTeaCup Thu 12-Jul-18 23:27:42

These posts have come up on my Facebook timeline. The guy who posted it work with Z list celebs on close protection and other security work. I'm not sure what his role is here.

This is a group raising money for an air ambulance charity. I'm unsure if they are members of the air ambulance or just fundraising.

I believe the person holding the paper is a waitress. She must have been so self conscious and I think this is possibly sexual harassment?

Would it be mean spirited to report it, as they are a bunch of lads letting off steam. But does that become and issue of excusing someone because if charity work (Jimmy Saville being at the end of that scale!).

saltandvinegarcrisps1 Thu 12-Jul-18 23:31:00

It looks like a bloke that's holding it up,???

ChipTheTeaCup Thu 12-Jul-18 23:31:31

The comment below the picture from the same person that has posted it...

crazycatgal Thu 12-Jul-18 23:32:30

They've acted like immature dicks but who would you report it to?

ChipTheTeaCup Thu 12-Jul-18 23:32:36

@saltandvinegarcrisps1 not in the unedited version, it's a female. The original poster has also referred to her as a girl (but you commented before I'd added that).

saltandvinegarcrisps1 Thu 12-Jul-18 23:33:48

Ah ok. It's all a bit sad - like something a 12 year old might do. And putting it on FB - grim.

ChipTheTeaCup Thu 12-Jul-18 23:34:22


The charity they are representing. His employers given that he works in securoty & protection and should be more clued up on sexism?

Lichtie Thu 12-Jul-18 23:36:36

Sexual harassment? It's a typical schoolboy drawing of a penis, what is harassment about that?

ChipTheTeaCup Thu 12-Jul-18 23:42:21


Humiliating a person of the opposite sex by abusing your power in the situation (her being the waitress and having to behave professionally) by forcing them to unknowingly (or perhaps knowingly but please refer to my previous brackets) hold a picture of a penis for her to carry out her job. And then taking a picture of her, again it looks like she did not consent to this, and sharing it online.

All the editing of identities has been done by me.

Lichtie Thu 12-Jul-18 23:47:45

Jeezo OP, calm down.
Would you be humiliated by that? Why do you assume this girl was? It's a giant leap to get to sexual harassment from that imo.

OlennasWimple Thu 12-Jul-18 23:50:35

Taking part in a charity fundraiser should require better behaviour, not excuse misogyny

dontbesillyhenry Thu 12-Jul-18 23:57:04

Litchie May I ask why you are so keen to excuse this?

ElementalHalfLife Fri 13-Jul-18 00:06:50

Damn right its humiliating. WTF is wrong with you Lichtie? That woman is trying to do her job and is being made the unwitting butt of a joke by a bunch of dick customers and having her picture posted all over social media so a bunch of online dicks can also laugh at her. No one deserves that in the workplace. Yes OP, report it to the charity they represent - name and shame the bullying twats.

KokoandAllBall Fri 13-Jul-18 00:09:58

Would it be mean spirited to report it, as they are a bunch of lads letting off steam.

"A bunch of lads letting off steam" hmm

Now I've finished throwing up in my mouth, please do report it. They won't get fired, but hopefully they'll get their own awkward moment.

ElementalHalfLife Fri 13-Jul-18 00:19:28

Oh I missed the "letting off steam" line - when are we gonna stop minimising and excusing this kind of twattish behaviour on the boys will be boys grounds? No. Just bloody stop it. NO.

user1473878824 Fri 13-Jul-18 00:25:35

It’s immature but would you really have been ‘humiliated’ by this? I assume most people when noticing would roll their eyes and not think of it again. Also it looks pretty set up, when was the last time you held a piece of A4 up right in front of your face to read it? Everyone is on a very high horse on here. Of course it isn’t sexual harassment it’s just stupid.

Prestonsflowers Fri 13-Jul-18 00:27:22

IMO it is sexual harassment and bullying
The comments make it clear that their intention is to humiliate the waitress

Shootfirstaskquestionslater Fri 13-Jul-18 00:34:00


MsFrizzle Fri 13-Jul-18 00:37:30

I have severe social anxiety and I'd be extremely humiliated by this, especially having my face spread over Facebook without my permission - assuming the censoring is yours and not theirs.

Please report it.

LighthouseSouth Fri 13-Jul-18 00:48:33

Report it op.

TakeMeToKernow Fri 13-Jul-18 00:57:53

The FB post by BR or anything to do with motorbikes? But yeah, as someone said - totally grim.

ScarlettSahara Fri 13-Jul-18 01:16:08

I would report it yes. A group of men mocking a young girl, admitting she is confused as to why they are laughing “at” her & using a sexual image to do it. It is harassment & they should be called on it.
As pp said they are not 12. Would the charity feel happy being represented in this way?

ElementalHalfLife Fri 13-Jul-18 01:23:38

Again, would I have been humiliated? Yes, when I was waitressing or bartending back in my uni days and was often the target of lads 'banter' and stupid practical jokes like this and worse and too timid or afraid of losing my job to protest or complain so I'd play along with a forced smile before escaping to the back upset and ashamed.

I remember one bunch of rugby club louts thinking it funny to run around the student union bar with a full bucket of water when the TISWAS song was popular and one of them yelling "what do you say? See through blouse, boys?" just as I was passing collecting glasses. Yep the full bucket all over me. I was persuaded not to complain to the union on the grounds I'd be thought a humourless bitch, they were just letting off steam, having a laugh. And to my eternal shame I let it go.

Well, I got harder and less compliant with age and these days it's zero tolerance. ZERO tolerance. It wasn't fucking acceptable then and it's a million times more not fucking acceptable in 2018. They can't claim just a laugh any more, they can't be unaware that things have changed and social media works two fucking ways and twats like these can be exposed to public humiliation too. Thanking my stars that at least I didn't have my humiliations broadcast all over Facebook and You Tube.

ScarlettSahara Fri 13-Jul-18 01:23:58

I take user’s point about the paper being held very close /looking slightly odd but even if this is staged it is being used to portray the behaviour as acceptable & to me it is not.

ScarlettSahara Fri 13-Jul-18 01:32:54

flowers elemental - don’t beat yourself up about feeling unable to complain at the time - I found it harder when I was younger too & suffered harassment from 2 consultants as a medical student & 3 further incidents as a doctor from other male doctors - it would not happen now because I would firmly put them in their place & report them.

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