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DSDs mum doesn't want me to breastfeed in front of DSD.

(215 Posts)
PinkThread Thu 12-Jul-18 08:37:21

Due mine and DHs first. We're very excited and can't waif for the next few weeks to pass so we can finally meet our little one.

DSD 6 was asking me what a baby eats and drinks, so me and her dad very briefly explained to her about breast feeding. She already knew about this and I think this is what she wanted to talk about but was too shy to bring it up.

When we had her at the weekend, DP had a text from DSDs mum stating that under no circumstances will I be breast feeding or exposing my breasts to DSD as it is inappropriate.

AIBU to think that this is a really bizarre ask?

I'm not going to go around flashing my boobs at her (or anyone for that matter) but I don't see anything wrong in a 6 year old (will be 7 when baby is born) seeing me breast feed?


Theycouldhavechoseneve Thu 12-Jul-18 08:38:47

That mother has issues. Weird

Buzzlightyearsbumchin Thu 12-Jul-18 08:39:38

🤣 she is ridiculous.

If baby needs fed then baby needs fed.

It's not like you're putting on a burlesque show.

French2019 Thu 12-Jul-18 08:41:00

I'd ignore it tbh, and tell the mum that you're ignoring her request because you need to feed the baby and it would be unfair to banish your dsd from the room.

Twickerhun Thu 12-Jul-18 08:41:20

Feed wherever you need to.

donajimena Thu 12-Jul-18 08:41:51

She's utterly unreasonable.

WhiteCat1704 Thu 12-Jul-18 08:43:15

She is unreasonable...Ignore her.

Underhisi Thu 12-Jul-18 08:43:23

Just tell her that it's not possible and don't enter any further discussion about it.

PinkThread Thu 12-Jul-18 08:43:56

I'm going to leave it to DH to tell her because the request came via him (he thinks it is equally as ridiculous). She thinks it is inappropriate for her daughter to see another woman's boobs. I honestly don't know what to make of it all!

NoProbLlama78 Thu 12-Jul-18 08:44:06

Its not her decision really and DSD is interested so how would you all keep her away?!?
While youre getting it established the baby will feed loads and there will probably be times when you'll want to sit in bed out of the way of everyone as its tiring and hard work.
Your DH could maybe get DSD to help by bringing you drinks and snacks to help be involved.
Look up recipes for breast feeding cookies - no idea if they work but nice for her to bake with her dad and she would be helping you and her brother or sister.
Once you get the hang of it there isn't much to see anyway.

CoraPirbright Thu 12-Jul-18 08:44:52

How weird - just ignore her and do the natural, normal thing and feed your baby.

nuttyslackster Thu 12-Jul-18 08:46:07

Totally bizarre and unreasonable request. Sad really that someone would have such a warped view of breastfeeding that they think it is unsuitable for a little girl to see.

Underhisi Thu 12-Jul-18 08:46:34

There is no point in arguing with stupid.

PinkThread Thu 12-Jul-18 08:47:53

@nuttyslackster my sentiments exactly. It's just a nipple. She's a 6 year old girl! She might be curious and stare a bit but... it's just a nipple!!

greenlynx Thu 12-Jul-18 08:48:06

It’s very strange request. People do this on public places. Would you be able to change baby’s nappy/bath her if DSD is present?

Grandmaswagsbag Thu 12-Jul-18 08:48:36

She’s very weird. It’s completely normal for older siblings to witness breastfeeding. Sounds like a strange way of trying to regain some control over a situation she feels left out of?

MargaretElizabeth Thu 12-Jul-18 08:49:24

how utterly ridiculous and so very unreasonable.
I would have your DP say that if that is the rules she wants in place SHE will have to explain it to your DSD. and explain to her that she will be asked to leave the room each and every time baby needs fed.

obviously this is something you would not want to do/will not do as the last thing you want is DSD feeling pushed out by new baby but it might just show your DP's ex how moronic her demand is.
If DSD was just your DD and aged 6 or 7 you'd certainly not feel the need to hide her from your breast feeding, as its a normal human thing to do. and i bet if DSD's mum had another baby she wouldn't hide away with feeding her baby. so expecting you to do so is pathetic.

The whole thing is utter nonsense and something you should expect DP to tell his Ex is just not happening at all!

ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles Thu 12-Jul-18 08:50:25

What happens when a random woman is breastfeeding beside them in a cafe or in a bus? Is she going to lean over and say, "Excuse me, Madam, but under no circumstances are you to do that in front of my daughter."??

Sounds like this maybe has more to do with making things difficult for you and her ex-husband?

Stephisaur Thu 12-Jul-18 08:51:31

I agree that waving your breasts in a young child's face would be a tad inappropriate, but that's not what breastfeeding is!

I would just ignore her.

PinkThread Thu 12-Jul-18 08:51:46

@Grandmaswagsbag quite possibly. I do understand it must be so hard for a mother to know another woman is showing her daughter these things for the first time, however I can only do what is right by my child. At the end of the day, her daughter is about to become a sister and me and DP want her to be allowed to be part of the process of raising the baby. Being able to help, feed with the bottle when big enough, help to change a nappy occasionally etc, and that includes being present when her sibling is feeding. It's just no big deal in my eyes. I'm just worried that this is a sign of things to come and her requests are going to get worse...

AESLEHC Thu 12-Jul-18 08:52:09

Just say aye ok and then breastfeed. It isn't always straight forward so I'd wait until you are actually breastfeeding before arguing or discussing as it may be a non issue.

SoupDragon Thu 12-Jul-18 08:52:40

I would just ignore it. There’s no point answering TBH.

PirateWeasel Thu 12-Jul-18 08:53:18

Madness. How incredibly weird of DSD's mum to have a problem with you giving your own baby lunch in your own house. It's what boobs are for!!! Your DSD will have boobs herself one day, what's wrong with her learning how they work now?! Baffling.

WorldCupnovice Thu 12-Jul-18 08:53:51

Could you call her bluff OP? Tell her that as you will be breast feeding for a long time, it may be best if DSD doesn't come over in case she is exposed to ' the most natural thing in the world , which is the reason breasts exist.'

PinkThread Thu 12-Jul-18 08:55:59

@WorldCupnovice to be honest I really can't be bothered to play games - just want to get on with my life and it's not really for me to say things like that to DHs ex. Could be misconstrued as 'daddy doesn't want to see you anymore so you're not going' and totally backfire.

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