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Aibu or is it okay for someone else to announce the birth of your child?

(175 Posts)
Wolfpac Wed 11-Jul-18 12:47:12

My In Laws are first time grandparents and had announced the birth of our child on Social Media after DH specifically told them not to and that we would do it once we get home from the hospital the next day.
Would you mind if that happened or Am I Being Unreasonable?

Magicpaintbrush Wed 11-Jul-18 12:48:22

YANBU - that is out of order.

PunishmentSnart Wed 11-Jul-18 12:48:28

I’d be furious! Especially if you specifically told them not to!

doodlejump1980 Wed 11-Jul-18 12:49:11

Bang out of order. Not their news to tell. I’d be raging.

TurnipCake Wed 11-Jul-18 12:49:35

When the time comes, my husband and I have agreed not to post anything about children on social media

So in your situation I'd be really fucking cross

DappledThings Wed 11-Jul-18 12:50:00

I wouldn't mind. But I think I'm very much in the minority.

I hate making announcements in any format so if someone else takes over the responsibility it's good for me. Like I say, minority view though!

PicaK Wed 11-Jul-18 12:50:23

I would be hurt.

BlackWatchBelle Wed 11-Jul-18 12:50:37

I would be absolutely fecking raging!! That kind of news if for no one other than the parents to announce. You can't do anything to make up for that, I would never forget.

blackbirdbluebottle Wed 11-Jul-18 12:50:57

YANBU I cant believe they announced something so precious in future. Maybe next time they should find out on social media and see how they like it. I would be horrified in your situation. I hope they apologise a lot!

InDubiousBattle Wed 11-Jul-18 12:51:06

Same here turnip, we've never put anything about our dc on social media so I would be furious if someone else announced the birth on there.

SilverySurfer Wed 11-Jul-18 12:51:45

They are obviously excited but that's absolutely no excuse. Well you'll know next time, they will be last to be told and it's their fault.

lifechangesforever Wed 11-Jul-18 12:52:26

Absolutely out of order. I've already posted on Facebook to say that absolutely nobody should mention on FB about the arrival of DD or that I'm in labour, if they happen to be aware.

SheSaidNoFuckThat Wed 11-Jul-18 12:52:30

YANBU a family member posted a photo of our youngest DS to FB before we had said anything about his birth

JennaTools Wed 11-Jul-18 12:53:45

This happened to us, whilst one twin was very unwell in NICU and we weren't sure he would survive the night. It was horrific to have many messages from family and friends congratulating us on the safe arrival of our boys when we were so unsure.
Thank the Lord, both were well but that first 48 hours when we didn't know what would happen were made worse by that decision by the boys grandparents in their desperate need for attention and the spotlight to be theirs.

Cyw2018 Wed 11-Jul-18 12:53:49

I personally didn't have a problem with passing it on to someone else to announce the birth of DD, but the difference is I asked my DM do so this, your DH asked his parents not to! YANBU to feel pissed off.

Grumblepants Wed 11-Jul-18 12:54:15

Yep I would be really upset. It's your moment to share not theirs.

YouBetterWORK Wed 11-Jul-18 12:54:29

They can bloody well delete it (if they haven't already), and you can do your own announcement. I know it won't be the same, but this time next year it'll pop up on your timehop as a lovely memory, instead of theirs!! I'm assuming it's facebook.

My in laws were also first time grandparents, we said no social media until we've made the announcement ourselves, and you know what? They listened, as did everyone else.

So don't listen to any 'oh but we were excited' crap they come out with. Mine were very excited. Or 'well it's done now so leave it', to try and make out you're the unreasonable one. Riot act. I can't stand people like this, making it all about themselves for 'likes' angry

Strawberry2017 Wed 11-Jul-18 12:57:07

My MIL tried to do this when we had our 12 week scan even though I told her there were people I needed to tell first.
She was told to remove it and luckily I don't think it was seen.
She tried to be cryptic and didn't tag us but I was fuming.
Not trusted her since tbh!
I would be furious if she had announced the birth.
It's your news not theirs!
So out of order! X

GaspingGekko Wed 11-Jul-18 12:57:22

I wouldn't care about someone else announcing the birth of my child tbh. In fact I would only even think about not sharing because of the views I've seen on this forum. blush
However, you specifically asked them not to do something and they did. I think that is a big deal - it really doesn't matter what that thing is - so YANBU from that point of view

Wolfpac Wed 11-Jul-18 12:57:50

Yes, they were definitely excited to finally have a GC but while me and bub were sleeping (I was dozing in and out as I was in labour for 24 hours) my DH called them 3 hours after DC was born-they wanted him to call the minute DC was born so weren't happy. Then MIL must have said something like "can you announce something on facebook" to which he replied "no, we will do that once we are home" ( he also said she said to "hurry up" because they couldn't wait any longer)
I was at the hospital and still while DH went home to rest overnight and his phone started going off with congratulatory messages from people. Then he called me and we were both furious.

BarbarianMum Wed 11-Jul-18 12:59:21

Wouldn't have bothered me, I just wanted lots of people to say "congratulations" <shallow>. But rude to do it if you'd asked them not to.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Wed 11-Jul-18 12:59:43

Would be a shame if they behaviour pushed them out of first place visiting...

Secretsquirrel101 Wed 11-Jul-18 13:01:22

Id be furious. It's not their (huge) news to announce!!

YouBetterWORK Wed 11-Jul-18 13:04:07

Oh, so either no patience or petty revenge for not telling them the second DC was out. Bollock them till kingdom come OP. Oh yeah, and when will they be getting their cuddles eh? You and DH get to decide that! Shot themselves in the foot there! wink

Hidingtonothing Wed 11-Jul-18 13:05:16

My SIL did this, DD was born in the early hours and she was the only one still up (and ringing DH every 5 minutes to see what was happening) so she knew before anyone else. By morning she'd plastered it all over FB and we ended up with a shitstorm from DH's exW because DSC hadn't been told first. I was probably the most upset about it, was already worried DSC would feel pushed out and SIL really didn't help, we're NC with her now funnily enough (for a multitude of reasons!). So no, YANBU, it should be your news to tell, hope you're ok flowers

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