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To say she can’t become a vegan yet

(363 Posts)
funnyfairy360 Tue 10-Jul-18 19:49:08

So my 10yr old DD has announced that she does not believe it is Ok to use animal products any more and from now on will not be eating/wearing/using anything made from animals or produced by animals. She does not even want to be ‘forced’ to sit on our leather couch. Now don’t get me wrong I’m all for her finding her own way in life but this is not just becoming vegetarian or going goth, becoming vegan is life changing and to be honest too inconvenient and expensive for me to make happen for her right now. She said she has the right to choose I say yes when she can pay for the products and cook the food herself .....she wants vegan friendly washing up liquid/shampoo/ soap/ clothes/this list could go on and on. None of the rest of us have any desire to go vegan.

Brazenhussy0 Tue 10-Jul-18 19:52:44

I'd compromise and go with giving her vegan food and toiletries for herself but keeping your household products (washing up liquid etc.) the same.

As you rightly say, she can make the choice to turn a household entirely vegan when it's her paying for it. But I do think compromise is fair for now.

henpeckedinchief Tue 10-Jul-18 19:53:17

I think you should try to accommodate her as far as you can re diet. Vegan food isn't just vegetables any more - there is amazing variety and it's really healthy. Could you share a few vegan meals per week and then give her simple vegan alternatives to what the rest of you have on other days?

I think you can be less flexible on shampoo etc and tell her it's something she can work towards once she's older and can earn her own money.

Could you offset the cost by telling her that you will accommodate her but in return she has to go without certain treats etc? That might help you assess her commitment.

I don't think you should immediately make a 100% overhaul but if she feels strongly I would do what I could do accommodate her. She's old enough to be listened to regarding what she puts in her own body (within reason obviously!)

PlantsArePeopleToo Tue 10-Jul-18 19:53:58

Could you not compromise and let her go vegetarian for now?

PlantsArePeopleToo Tue 10-Jul-18 19:55:18

Veganism doesn't need to be expensive btw. Vegetables, pulses, rice, etc are staples in a vegan diet and are cheap as chips.

WildFlower2018 Tue 10-Jul-18 19:56:00

You can buy Tesco, Sainsbury and Morrison's own brand shampoo etc which are all not tested on animals, that might be a good compromise?

KellyBailey Tue 10-Jul-18 19:56:14

I'd look at providing vegan food for her and see if its a genuine principle or she gets fed up quickly. As for the rest of the stuff, that's tough, she can choose her own furniture etc when she has her own house. I'd start with getting a vegan recipe book and seeing how many meals in it she would actually eat and if its a reasonable amount then start cooking together and show her how to prepare food, she's old enough to help out.

RhinestoneCowgirl Tue 10-Jul-18 19:58:52

Is she vegetarian already? Maybe suggest that as compromise if not.

My 9yr old DD stopped eating meat about a year ago. I told her at the time that whilst I understood ethical reasons for veganism, that would have to wait until she was older and shopping and cooking for herself.

Sleeplessmeanderer Tue 10-Jul-18 19:58:55

Hmm I do think it’s a cost problem if everyone is not switching if you want to eat a good vegan diet.

Also if you’re going to have to start making two sets of meals, shouldn’t she be making hers? I’d say she can do it when she can afford it and cook it, but I’d try and do 1-2 vegan meals for everyone per week and offer her to go vegetarian.

Bluelady Tue 10-Jul-18 19:58:59

A vegan diet is one of the cheapest ways of eating going, as well as being healthy and good for the planet. I really can't see your problem.

ConciseandNice Tue 10-Jul-18 19:59:20

We’re vegan and it do and have to be expensive. Our 10 year old knows that if there are non vegan toiletries etc in the house that they still have to be used and used before anything new is bought. Don’t draw a hard line with her, it’ll make her miserable. Learn about having vegan kids (lots of resources out there) and it’ll be ok. Promise.

AllyMcBeagle Tue 10-Jul-18 19:59:41

This book is great if you want cheap single portion vegan meals:
www.amazon.co.uk/Vegan-Cooking-One-simple-appetizing/dp/0722539231?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Vegan toiletries etc. don't need to be expensive. Most of Superdrug's own brand stuff is vegan and not animal tested as are most of the Co-Op's own brand cleaning products.

I'd at least let her do her own thing with food/toiletries that she uses, even if you're not planning to change everything in the house.

OliviaBenson Tue 10-Jul-18 19:59:59

Astonish and ecover and vegan friendly brands. Astonish stuff is really cheap too and works great.

Sleeplessmeanderer Tue 10-Jul-18 20:01:43

Dairy substitutes are expensive especially if you have to buy the diary for everyone else, and also all the nuts, seeds and vitamins don’t come cheap either.

If everyone was switching you’d get economies of scale but now you would be duplicating buying and cooking.

What a nightmare. Hoping dd doesn’t decide this!

AllyMcBeagle Tue 10-Jul-18 20:02:32

She'll need B12 vitamin tablets but they're not too expensive.

RhinestoneCowgirl Tue 10-Jul-18 20:03:21

For me it's not cost (by chance our evening meal was vegan tonight, it's often vegetarian and only occasionally meat) it's more about preparing separate meals, and the time involved in that.

DistanceCall Tue 10-Jul-18 20:10:56

No. She can choose to be a vegan when she pays her way and cooks her own meals and buys her own products. It's too expensive and too much of a hassle for the rest of the family. (And I know people will disagree with me, but I don't think a child should go without animal proteins).

Having said this, perhaps you could buy her some vegan-friendly / cruelty-free products to keep her happy.

DistanceCall Tue 10-Jul-18 20:13:34

Also, I'd be showing her a documentary on the impact on soy and avocado crops on the environment.

www.telegraph.co.uk/food-and-drink/news/healthy-foods-that-are-ruining-the-environment/

Or encourage her to reduce the use of plastic.

AllyMcBeagle Tue 10-Jul-18 20:13:55

If you follow DistanceCall's advice don't be surprised if your DD ends up resenting you.

AllyMcBeagle Tue 10-Jul-18 20:15:20

Also, I'd be showing her a documentary on the impact on soy and avocado crops on the environment.

Oh yeah because those are the only vegan foods hmm

Watch Cowspiracy, Earthlings, Forks Over Knives and you'll see the effect that eating animals and their products is having on the world.

Wallywobbles Tue 10-Jul-18 20:16:03

She better learn to budget, shop and cook then. She also needs to know an awful lot about a healthy diet take a lot of supplements etc. I'd say she can do it if she can prove capable of doing all the above.

10 is absolutely old enough to do it the above on a normal mixed diet but challenging to do it as a vegan. Holidays coming up so see how she goes.

BlueBug45 Tue 10-Jul-18 20:16:04

I think you are being reasonable as very 10 year olds can budget, source products, go food shopping, cook for themselves and have part-time jobs. If she was a couple of years older then it would be fine as you could tell her to cook some vegan meals for the entire family, give her a budget to buy other stuff from, get her to source it etc.

I do know of entire families who ended up vegetarian because of a child of secondary age did this, but it is unreasonable to expect you to do all the work.

DemonChild Tue 10-Jul-18 20:16:11

Superdrug own brand toiletries are super cheap and nearly all vegan (and clearly labelled when not)
But YANBU to not want to turn the whole household vegan - and I speak as a vegan in a house of omnivores!

WeEatTheYearAway Tue 10-Jul-18 20:17:29

Could you let her be vegetarian for now and encourage her to research and raise money for a charity that helps improve conditions for and ensure the welfare of farm animals.
Like the rspca or a local animal sanctuary.

Tell her that even if she becomes vegan other people are still going to be using animal products so for now it’s a much better use of time and resources to make sure they have as happy a life as possible

FatSally Tue 10-Jul-18 20:18:18

Personally I would support my dc if they wanted to go vegetarian but i not vegan - they'd could eat what they wanted off the plate and leave the rest and I imagine would get bored quickly.

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