Advanced search

To stop fil from feeding dd off his fork.

(274 Posts)
Setpeace Tue 10-Jul-18 13:00:42

A few years ago I sat in horror when fil fed dd who had just recovered from nasty cold, off his fork when he had just been ill with an unexplained virus.
I didn't say anything thinking it's a one-off. The next time I saw him do it I asked dh to say something.
He said not to do it, the dc get illness etc.
Fil went and did it again at bbq at our house and I didn't know what to do.
Dh again mentioned after please don't do it.
They were out with dd and she said grandpa shared his ice cream with her.

I'm actually, ironically unlike pils quite relaxed about general about cleaning, weight are shoes on house, I don't keep dc pristine, I understand it's absolutely neccsary to be exposed to lots of germs etc but this makes me feel sick.

It's not only his seeming lack of care, it's the idea that he is somehow germ free and doesn't listen to us.
Yes they have massive form for lots of things like this but I'm not sure what the next move is, if he does it when we next see them.
I'd like to stand up and say ' fil are you you OK? You have been repeadlty asked not to share forks saliva with the dc and yet you carry on doing it?' then leave.
I could try and take dd back but she is very strong willed and it could end in an argument with dd...a tussle.. Dd come here.. NO etc

Its infuriating and I have had to listen to 14 of crap about dirt, shoes off, germs.... Etc.. They are extreme with it.

Wolfpac Tue 10-Jul-18 13:10:52

That's disgusting. I would hate if anyone did that (apart from myself or my DH) he seems like he's just trying to get a reaction out you. My Pil's seem to do things to annoy me to get a reaction out of me then make me seem like the bad person. Won't be surprised if your FIL is doing the same.

Waitingonasmiley42 Tue 10-Jul-18 13:15:48

I’m clearly in the minority here but I can’t see anything wrong with him sharing his ice cream with her. It makes me sad that people would be horrified at a grandparent sharing a cone with their grandchild. It’s not like it’s a random stranger they’ve stumbled across on the street.

Whereisthecoffee Tue 10-Jul-18 13:17:27

When Fil has been unwell I understand but in general I don’t at all. An issue out of nothing imo.

DrMantisToboggan Tue 10-Jul-18 13:18:15

Did this happen a few years ago? confused

Ethylred Tue 10-Jul-18 13:18:40

With Waitingonasmiley42 here.

Setpeace Tue 10-Jul-18 13:19:06

It's not just ice cream it's feeding off fork when he has been asked not too.

Seasawride Tue 10-Jul-18 13:20:22

I am a grandparent and I think that’s Yeuk!

chrysalis7 Tue 10-Jul-18 13:21:09

Yep it is grim.

Tell him that the doctor has advised against it.

Older people don't listen much to what young adults say, but if you say the DOCTOR said it, he will be more likely to adhere to the request.

CambridgeAnaglypta Tue 10-Jul-18 13:21:10

I can't see a problem either.

PrincessoftheSea Tue 10-Jul-18 13:21:39

Yuk and I would not do that with my own children either.

Setpeace Tue 10-Jul-18 13:21:45

No it started about two years ago and then said nothing in past year, asked him not too several times.
I don't like it at all, but it concerns me he didn't think after being very ill himself that holding back on passing his germs directly to dd then 3 would be sensible. Its hard to escape cold germs or virus if the bacteria is being fed directly into the your mouth.

Etino Tue 10-Jul-18 13:21:45

It’s not like it’s a random stranger they’ve stumbled across on the street...

A random stranger is no more or less likely to pass something on, there aren't magical germ and bug stopping properties within families.

chrysalis7 Tue 10-Jul-18 13:22:14

Sorry I mean some older people - not all. Didn't mean to generalise. Very sorry. blush

Setpeace Tue 10-Jul-18 13:23:16

Actually chrysalis, I think there is a movement against t this somewhere, to do with bacteria from teeth.
It's common sense to me.

Cadencia Tue 10-Jul-18 13:23:42

I’d be ok with this unless he was ill at the time.

littlepeas Tue 10-Jul-18 13:23:53

Understand if he’s ill, but otherwise not a problem!

GlassSuppers Tue 10-Jul-18 13:24:37

How old is DD now?

Could you not say to her how dirty other peoples forks are and persuade her to only eat off her own cutlery?

I think it's rank 🤢

Shumpalumpa Tue 10-Jul-18 13:24:50

They were out with dd and she said grandpa shared his ice cream with her.

The horror! 😱

Setpeace Tue 10-Jul-18 13:26:11

But even if you wouldn't mind it, they don't like shoes on, I take mine off even though we are shoes on house.
They are very picky when it comes comes to cleanliness in their house. We fall in as much as we can because it's thier house even if we think it's ridiculous.
We have asked him not to do this. It baffles me we can be at their house , Mil is going on about germs, hates hand made food, pies... 'oh dear nasty dirty hands instead of sterile machines making the food' with fil sat thier shoving his saliva with germs into dd mouth.

SlartiAardvark Tue 10-Jul-18 13:26:55

it started about two years ago

And she's still alive....

You're sounding a bit precious OP....

hellsbellsmelons Tue 10-Jul-18 13:26:59

With Waitingonasmiley42 here
Me too.
If my dad had fed my DD things off of his fork when she was younger then it wouldn't even have occurred to me to be bothered!
He probably did just that as I'm sure my mum did too.
It's a proper, non-issue!

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough Tue 10-Jul-18 13:27:14

Don't see the problem with this. My toddler steals my mums breakfast cereal off her spoon, wants to try everyone's food (relatives not random people) so they share with him. I think it's slightly odd u have an issue with it

gryffen Tue 10-Jul-18 13:27:40

I've asked my PIL to stop the same thing.

Dd is 3 and capable of eating by herself but they constantly put food on her fork then try shove it in and he constantly sits in back seat beside her without a fucking seat belt on.

Last week was straw when hubby had to do emergency brake and he was thrown forward. He was ordered out car and had go get home 50 miles as we refused to let him back in after he yelled at us for him being thrown forward.

If we are out she sits beside us and is left alone to eat, both take meds and FIL has cold sores so major nono.

Tell them straight.

Setpeace Tue 10-Jul-18 13:28:46

Glass yes I have tried to do that, and she is very good with it but unfortunately he scuppered her with ice cream.
I don't understand why they had to share one anyway. Why couldn't he have treated her to her own.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: