AIBU to refuse to take the morning after pill

[Stillwishihadabs]

So background I am 42 and happily married 2 DC s (14&11). Having used the cooper coil for 10 years (since DCs) I have recently have some gynae issues so have to have it removed. I had a couple of months on the mini pill, but had horrific side effects and understand that the mirena would be similar. So approxiamately 2 weeks ago I stopped taking it and basically told DH I was sick of messing about with my body and it was up to him. Last night after the footy and a few drinks we DTD. I asked him if he was going to use a condom and he said "where are you in your cycle?" To which I replied " I haven't a clue" ( true, no period since stopping mini pill). I wouldn't mind being PG I have an excellent job with good maternity pay, a people carrier and a 4/5 bed house. Also one of my school friends has recently announced her pregnancy which made me go "ahhh". Today DH seems freaked out by what happened and is asking me to take emergency contraception. AIBU to refuse ? I think he needs to step up with contraception if he doesn't want another DC. I have a feeling that if I do this it will remain my responsibility.

[Stillwishihadabs]

Sorry that was an essay

[SantaClauseMightWork]

If he doesn't want any children anymore, it's his turn to step up. It makes me sick to see men not taking any responsibility at all even when their wives have spents decades messing with their body and bearing the side effects.

[Bezm]

Sounds to me like you want a baby because your friend is having one, but your husband doesn't.
You have both been reckless whilst drunk, which is how lots of unwanted pregnancies happen. At your age, you should be more responsible. Are you prepared to go it alone with this possible pregnancy?

[Mammaof]

Well i suppose in a way, yes he should have taken responsibility, but do you really want to force him into a baby just to prove a point. As much as babies are '' ahh'' they do grow up, you need to both decide if your both ready to go through it all again.

[Gottagetmoving]

Your body, your decision to take a pill, however, you will have to be prepared for the consequences on your relationship.

[mimibunz]

Seriously? You’re playing ‘who will blink first’ about contraception? I can only imagine a future conversation with the child: “you weren’t planned but daddy refused to get snipped and I refused the morning after pill.”

[VladmirsPoutine]

Dear god, if this is exactly how you see it then it's rather something of a miracle that you have an otherwise normal sounding life

[Laiste]

What is the exact, honest and real reason you don't want to take the pill OP?

Because you want a baby? Or to piss off your DH?

Not judging. Genuine Q.

[specialsubject]

it is pointless blabbering about it is all down to the woman, that is how the biology works. and couples use condoms, not just men.

if you are finished sprogging then either use contraception, get snipped or stop.shagging.football and alcohol are not contraceptives.

[Seasawride]

God how irresponsible at your ages.

No condom no sex and if he doesn’t want more kids tell him to get the snip.

[ADastardlyThing]

Well he's a knob but it would be very foolish to have a child in these circumstances.

No sex until he takes responsibility would be far better and not involve creating a life as part of a point scoring exercise.

[Merryoldgoat]

‘Are you going to use a condom?’ Really? Isn’t that something you decide together?

[Seasawride]

And not to be mean but at your age your chances of having a baby with additional needs is higher. Do you think that’s fair to your dc? And are you prepared for that? I think you havnt thought this throughenough op.

[GabriellaMontez]

Irresponsible? Why? The op wants a baby. She can afford one. Maybe her last chance.

Time he got The snip if he's certain he doesn't want more.

[LunaTrap]

Tbh I would take it this once because I wouldn't to risk a pregnancy with a reluctant partner. But I would make it clear to him that in future I would absolutely not be pumping any more hormones into my body so that he didn't have to take any responsibility and that from now on it would be no condoms= no sex unless we agreed to TTC.

[LeftRightCentre]

YANBU. I wouldn't take it, either. Chances are slim you'll get pregnant.

[ReasonableLlama]

Personally, if it was me I would take the morning after pill. I get what you are saying about DH taking the responsibility but I would only want a child if we were both in agreement.

It seems a bit extreme to have a baby just to teach your husband a lesson about contraception.

[Elementtree]

I think that your position on the matter is correct but I can't imagine growing my family under these circumstances.

[Thefourmuskateers]

Kind of how my 3rd was conceived but I didnt think I was fertile so decided just to leave it and chance it. I ended up with boys 17mo apart.

[Bluesmartiesarebest]

Don’t take the pill if you don’t want to. If your DH didn’t want to risk another pregnancy he shouldn’t have had sex without a condom.

[ADastardlyThing]

I reckon op if you'd take the extremely ballsy step of getting Pg to serve him right, with all the risks that would entail, then you've definitely got the balls to make sure it's not just your responsibility.

[YearOfYouRemember]

You should take it this time but then in future he has to get snipped or use condoms.

[OurMiracle1106]

I suggest you get the pill and then state clearly that there will be no sex moving forward without some kind of protection in place x,y and z doesn’t work for you so these are the options left.

My partner had no choice in my current contraception as I hadn’t met him when I had my last implant put in but when it’s due he will have an input ( can’t use combined pill and don’t want a coil) because we are both adults.

As much as I would love a baby I want the child to be wanted by both parents

[AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight]

'I don't mind being pg' doesn't sound like 'I want a baby'. I've got a big age gap (not quite that big) between my first two and my third and you really do go back to square one. It's not something to go into not being bothered one way or the other.

[kitchenrollinrollinrollin]

You're not being unreasonable not to take it. No one should ever feel pressured to do that.

I think the context sounds immature and ridiculous though.