AIBU neighbour using MIL’s garden whenever she feels like it!

[mmmgoats]

Been stewing on this. Stayed round the in laws at the weekend, MIL and FIL went out to the shops for their usual morning walk and left DH and I having coffee in the kitchen.
Kitchen has double doors that lead out to the garden, we had one open a tiny bit (this is relevant) but you couldn’t see from the outside that they were open.

Next door neighbour suddenly appears in garden pegging her washing onto in-laws line. DH and I were a bit bemused but thought maybe it was an agreement between in laws and neighbour. I went out to say good morning anyway, and she looked a bit surprised we were there but made small talk and didn’t really acknowledge the fact that she was in the in-laws garden.
When MIL came back I mentioned it and she said oh yes she keeps doing that, the other day when the door was open she wandered in and put the kettle on!
MIL isn’t timid or quiet at all, in fact DH’s family can be quite a force to be reckoned with, but I think she was so shocked the first time she did it, she didn’t say anything about it and now when she’s said something, neighbour apparently brushes it off by saying “oh but you don’t mind though it’s such a small thing that really helps me out”
FIL has made a few comments to the neighbour and asked her politely not to do it - seems like she now waits for them to go out (they are creatures of routine) and does what she likes anyway. So they often come back and find the washing on their line

We are still there and I want to go and knock and tell the neighbour to pack it in - I don’t normally seek out confrontation but I’m stunned at the gall of this woman! DH isn’t sure whether to get involved or not seeing as in-laws have tried to play it down a bit but I know MIL and I can see it’s really bothering her!
AIBU to go and do it anyway? I think DH is worried about coming across as intimidating as he’s quite a big fella, which is where his hesitation is coming from...

[tickingthebox]

Send Dh - this CF will have the hide of a rhino....

[PlowerOfScotland]

Time to respray the fences.

[VelociraptorRex]

Ooo I do love a CF thread. I'd be taking her washing down and handing it back to her nicely. If she did it again it would be getting thrown over the fence!

[ChelleDawg2020]

Go for it. The fact your DH is "quite a big fella" is to your advantage. As long as you are polite but firm, any intimidation is in the neighbour's mind only.

[agedknees]

Ok, unpeg her washing and throw it over the fence. Act like the crazy dil. Do it, do it.

[Maelstrop]

Why has your mil not yet told her to sling her hook? How does she get into the garden? Is it not fenced? I'd be fencing and giving her a massive talking to. Go round, OP, sort it out!!

[nervousnails]

Why throw it back? Unpeg the washing and keep it inside. Also fit a lock to the garden door.

[Discotits]

Get your DH round there and get her told. The fact that she’s ignored you FiL’s requests not to do it!

[MigGril]

Is the garden fenced at all? You could easily stop this by adding gates if possible.

I'm not sure I'd have the nerve to go round myself.

[madja]

Put up a price list for washing line hire!

[PoisonousSmurf]

What a CF! How does she get into the garden? Are there no fences?
Your DH should confront her and tell her to F off!

[IJustLostTheGame]

Invite a load of kids into the garden for a mud fight and supply them with catapults.....

[eggcellent]

She won't listen to you as you don't live there, she'll just start again when you go home. Your DMIL needs to be firm.

[PoisonousSmurf]

Give the CF a length of rope and tell her to use it wisely...

[NewYearNewMe18]

How old is NDN, could it be early onset dementia?

[QueenOfMyWorld]

What the f did your MIL say when she walked in and put the kettle on??

[CanaBanana]

Is she suffering from dementia? It seems odd that she would wander into someone else's home and put the kettle on. Anyway, if she can wander in then presumably a burglar could too - your MIL needs to keep the doors locked. If she puts washing on the line just unpeg it and throw it back over the fence (and make sure it gets muddy). She'll soon stop doing it!

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

If the garden is unfenced (how else is she able to stroll in??) maybe she doesn’t realise there’s a boundary and thinks the outside space is communal?
Although, if your in laws sat and watched her put the kettle on in their own kitchen and said nothing; they deserve everything they get.

[mmmgoats]

Sorry I should have said - the garden is fenced but low fences not the big tall ones and it’s gated but not locked - so a low gate too. She left through the gate so i presume she came
through it too, although there is a loose fence panel that has a gap between the fence and the post so you could easily get through that. I’m getting DH to fix that before we go

i was just a bit worried about coming across at threatening!
I have no idea why in laws are being so restrained on this, honestly if you’d asked me a week ago I would have said they would be the last people on earth to fall
over in the face of cheeky fuckery! I think the brazenness has kind of..stunned them?’ And the fact they HAVE asked her to stop and yet she just doesn’t listen.

Agenda: fix the fence panel, maybe a lock on the gate although to be honest you could easily get over it if you were so inclined...

I do really want to say something - the garden is one thing but wandering in to put the kettle on?! They are quite chummy so i don’t know if it’s blurred boundaries - she has been over
for tea in the past but only when actually invited. It’s like she suddenly thinks she has carte blanche to do what she likes!

[honeysucklejasmine]

So many questions, but pp have it covered. Fill us in, op!

[mmmgoats]

in laws weren’t in the room at the time, they were in the living room and came through into the kitchen (doors had been open) to find the kettle boiling and her hanging her washing up outside... she said she would make them a cuppa... (in their kitchen)

[TheMerryWidow1]

sorry putting the kettle on made me laugh. You have to do something just for the hell of it!! I can't believe the cheek of the woman!!

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

How is she getting in to the garden? Is there a gap in the fence or a gate that could do with a big shiny padlock?

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

Xpost.

[mmmgoats]

Sorry I didn’t expect it to move this quickly. Trying to answer everyone’s questions, sorry it’s a bit of a drip feed I was aware my
OP was getting a bit long as it was!
Neighbour is late fifties I’d say.

When the kettle thing happened MIL said she was so stunned she said she didn’t want tea and she would prefer it if she didn’t come into the house. She then shut the doors.
But didn’t say anything about the garden usage at the time - MIL said she felt
embarrassed and awkward even though the neighbour is the one behaving inappropriately.