To never see MiL again?!

[Dyingofembarrassment]

NC for this, for reasons that will become obvious...

Our washing machine is currently broken. MiL (who is kind and lovely, this is not your average MiL thread) offered to do a couple of loads for us, so we took a suitcase over today. I put the first load in the machine and then DH and I took DS out swimming. When we came back, that load had finished so she had taken it out and packed it into carrier bags for us to take home to dry. All ok so far.

I've just hung everything up now. In one of the carrier bags, on top of the pile of folded clothes (no idea why she folded them knowing I was only going to hang them up at the other end, but never mind) was a small, black COCK RING.

Yes, it it ours (well, DH's). But I haven't seen it in years, and neither of us have a clue how it got into our laundry. There is no chance she doesn't know what it is.

We can never go to her house or see or speak to her ever again, can we?!?

[Sparklingbrook]

You are lucky it didn't break her washing machine.

Is there the slightest chance she won't have a clue what it is?

[restingbemusedface]

You need to go NC

[Allthewaves]

Mhahahaha

[Maelstrop]

Omg. Omg. OMG!! To be fair, my dmil wouldn’t have a clue what it was (hopefully!) Do you think she knows?

[Osirus]

My MIL found one of our used condoms in her washing machine (when DH still lived with her). Awful!

[Littlechocola]

How old are the children? Can you say it’s a teething ring?

[rainbowpony]

Perhaps MiL has hung on to it since finding it after you stayed with her a year ago and taken the opportunity to stealth return it!! Image she's had it all this time, desperate for an opportunity to get it back home

[Justmuddlingalong]

She won't mention it. You won't mention it, so forget about it. until you're pissed at Christmas and make a joke about it to her

[5foot5]

I don't know how old your MIL is but I am nearly 56 and I wouldn't have a clue what a cock ring looked like

[acornsandnuts]

I bet she doesn’t have a clue. However when telling this story going forward, for your DHs delicacy, should the word small be used.

[Dyingofembarrassment]

Littlechoc DS is 21 months, so plausible, but it's not really the right texture for a teething ring.

5foot5 She's 68 but pretty savvy. She hasn't said anything, but I'm pretty sure she knows. If she didn't, she'd probably have asked about it!

[FizzyGreenWater]

You could totally brazen it out.

'Cheers MIL - by the way what is the black thing that was in the bag with the clean washing? It's not part of the washing machine is it? Like a round seal thing? It's not ours...?'

Worth a try. I'm not sure I'd be able to definitely pin down a cock ring, I reckon it could look like a lot of other random rubber ring type things.

[starsandstuff]

When I was 18 my boyfriend was at Uni and I "visited" him in his Hallls. His DM was lovely, very quiet and dignified, we were together a year by that point so I knew her quite well. He brought his washing home every so often, and she washed, ironed and folded it. One weekend he arrived back, unpacked his laundry, and there on the top of the pile was a (clean) black lacy thong. I can't remember how long it was before I could bring myself to face her again, but it was quite some time.

To be fair yours is worse, good luck with your new life abroad

[Prestonsflowers]

I’m a MIL, and I’ve done washing for my Son and Daughter in law. I’m 60 know what a cock ring looks like.
My view, never mention it ever again.

[Whatwaswrongwiththatusername]

@Littlechocola teething ring??? How big are you thinking this cock ring is?? 😂 Or have I just been exposed to smaller than average...? 😂

[Whatwaswrongwiththatusername]

Actually, no, I'm not sure I want the answer to that! 😬😳😄

[Dyingofembarrassment]

stars I hear Australia is nice...

[AppleKatie]

Never mention it.

If she gets drunk and mentions it next Christmas or whenever deny all knowledge.

If it’s not acknowledged it never happened.

[Ilovemypantry]

Sorry but what is a Cock Ring?

[Ellie56]

[FizzyGreenWater]

Ilove - you know the saying - 'If the wind changes, your face will get stuck like that'?

It's a living example of that saying, but for happy willies.

[Littlechocola]

@Whatwaswrongwiththatusername maybe it’s a little teething ring. Like a travel one?
I won one once in a drawing competition. Cock ring not teething ring.

[Littlechocola]

Fizzy, I think I love you

[Ohyesiam]

She knows that you have a sex life. It’s s really ok.

[DontDribbleOnTheCarpet]

Thanks Fizzy, I had a rough idea what they look like but I'd no idea what they were for.
OP, I think you have to never leave your house again. Or you could mercilessly mock your husband, one of the two.