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To never see MiL again?!

(76 Posts)
Dyingofembarrassment Sun 24-Jun-18 22:14:35

NC for this, for reasons that will become obvious...

Our washing machine is currently broken. MiL (who is kind and lovely, this is not your average MiL thread) offered to do a couple of loads for us, so we took a suitcase over today. I put the first load in the machine and then DH and I took DS out swimming. When we came back, that load had finished so she had taken it out and packed it into carrier bags for us to take home to dry. All ok so far.

I've just hung everything up now. In one of the carrier bags, on top of the pile of folded clothes (no idea why she folded them knowing I was only going to hang them up at the other end, but never mind) was a small, black COCK RING. blush

Yes, it it ours (well, DH's). But I haven't seen it in years, and neither of us have a clue how it got into our laundry. There is no chance she doesn't know what it is.

We can never go to her house or see or speak to her ever again, can we?!?

Sparklingbrook Sun 24-Jun-18 22:16:00

You are lucky it didn't break her washing machine. grin

Is there the slightest chance she won't have a clue what it is?

restingbemusedface Sun 24-Jun-18 22:17:14


You need to go NC

Allthewaves Sun 24-Jun-18 22:17:39


Maelstrop Sun 24-Jun-18 22:17:47

Omg. Omg. OMG!! To be fair, my dmil wouldn’t have a clue what it was (hopefully!) Do you think she knows?

Osirus Sun 24-Jun-18 22:18:25

My MIL found one of our used condoms in her washing machine (when DH still lived with her). Awful!

Littlechocola Sun 24-Jun-18 22:19:05

How old are the children? Can you say it’s a teething ring?

rainbowpony Sun 24-Jun-18 22:19:19

Perhaps MiL has hung on to it since finding it after you stayed with her a year ago and taken the opportunity to stealth return it!! Image she's had it all this time, desperate for an opportunity to get it back home smile

Justmuddlingalong Sun 24-Jun-18 22:19:21

She won't mention it. You won't mention it, so forget about it. until you're pissed at Christmas and make a joke about it to her

5foot5 Sun 24-Jun-18 22:19:31

I don't know how old your MIL is but I am nearly 56 and I wouldn't have a clue what a cock ring looked like

acornsandnuts Sun 24-Jun-18 22:21:36

I bet she doesn’t have a clue. However when telling this story going forward, for your DHs delicacy, should the word small be used.

Dyingofembarrassment Sun 24-Jun-18 22:22:16

Littlechoc DS is 21 months, so plausible, but it's not really the right texture for a teething ring.

5foot5 She's 68 but pretty savvy. She hasn't said anything, but I'm pretty sure she knows. If she didn't, she'd probably have asked about it! blush

FizzyGreenWater Sun 24-Jun-18 22:26:58

You could totally brazen it out.

'Cheers MIL - by the way what is the black thing that was in the bag with the clean washing? It's not part of the washing machine is it? Like a round seal thing? It's not ours...?'

Worth a try. I'm not sure I'd be able to definitely pin down a cock ring, I reckon it could look like a lot of other random rubber ring type things.

starsandstuff Sun 24-Jun-18 22:28:27

When I was 18 my boyfriend was at Uni and I "visited" him in his Hallls. His DM was lovely, very quiet and dignified, we were together a year by that point so I knew her quite well. He brought his washing home every so often, and she washed, ironed and folded it. One weekend he arrived back, unpacked his laundry, and there on the top of the pile was a (clean) black lacy thong. I can't remember how long it was before I could bring myself to face her again, but it was quite some time.

To be fair yours is worse, good luck with your new life abroad grin

Prestonsflowers Sun 24-Jun-18 22:34:39

I’m a MIL, and I’ve done washing for my Son and Daughter in law. I’m 60 know what a cock ring looks like.
My view, never mention it ever again.

Whatwaswrongwiththatusername Sun 24-Jun-18 22:39:54

@Littlechocola teething ring??? How big are you thinking this cock ring is?? 😂 Or have I just been exposed to smaller than average...? 😂

Whatwaswrongwiththatusername Sun 24-Jun-18 22:42:52

Actually, no, I'm not sure I want the answer to that! 😬😳😄

Dyingofembarrassment Sun 24-Jun-18 22:49:35

stars I hear Australia is nice...

AppleKatie Sun 24-Jun-18 22:54:31

Never mention it.

If she gets drunk and mentions it next Christmas or whenever deny all knowledge.

If it’s not acknowledged it never happened.

Ilovemypantry Sun 24-Jun-18 22:55:10

Sorry but what is a Cock Ring?

Ellie56 Sun 24-Jun-18 22:56:01

grin grin

FizzyGreenWater Sun 24-Jun-18 22:57:26

Ilove - you know the saying - 'If the wind changes, your face will get stuck like that'?

It's a living example of that saying, but for happy willies.

Littlechocola Sun 24-Jun-18 23:02:10

@Whatwaswrongwiththatusername maybe it’s a little teething ring. Like a travel one?
I won one once in a drawing competition. Cock ring not teething ring.

Littlechocola Sun 24-Jun-18 23:02:58

Fizzy, I think I love you

Ohyesiam Sun 24-Jun-18 23:03:31

She knows that you have a sex life. It’s s really ok.

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