My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To accuse my sister of theft?

215 replies

imsorrydarling · 24/06/2018 18:56

My sister is 18 years of age. We have a 10 year age gap.

She is a compulsive liar and over something ‘miniscule’, hasn’t spoken to me in a few weeks. She lives with me.

Friday morning before I left for work, I had laid out my clothes for the evening, as I was meeting friends straight after. When I came home from work I noticed things had been moved about and my jacket was missing, alongside my lipstick and my LV pouch which I use as a clutch, wasn’t on my dresser which is its usual place. As I was running late I didn’t think much, just assumed I had misplaced the things and left.

Yesterday, I went into her room to ask her for something & on her bed I noticed some makeup palettes that I had ‘lost’ a few months ago. She admitted they were mine but had ‘borrowed’ them on Friday morning.

I questioned her about my jacket and she denied seeing it. I questioned her several times and she was adamant she had no idea what I was speaking about.

Later yesterday, I saw she had been tagged in a picture on Facebook, wearing my jacket. So she had lied to my face about it. I sent her the screenshot, she read my messages, but didn’t respond and ignored my calls. Later she text me saying she was sorry and was going to place the jacket back, didn’t think it was such a big deal because she wanted to borrow it.

It didn’t seem like a genuine or sincere apology, and when I asked her why she thought it was acceptable to lie to my face, to which I was ignored.

I didn’t get back home until late by the time she had gone to bed and my jacket was not hanging over the bannister.

Today I have searched the whole house and am unable to find my pouch / clutch which is missing. Of course I think she has it but she is denying it. I don’t believe her as she lies about everything, until she is caught out.

I know it’s only makeup, a jacket, a bag, but it’s the lying that has me so worked up. She lies about where she’s been, even when I’ve just genuinely asked. Hangs around with the wrong crowd, stays out until 3/4am and I don’t know where she’s been. My keys were missing for 2 weeks and surprise surprise she had them all this time. I found them yesterday and asked her where they had been, she responded she found them on the floor.

My bag is missing and it cost me a fair bit so I’m really annoyed.

OP posts:
JenBarber · 24/06/2018 18:58

Leave. Get your own place.

ParentInCharge · 24/06/2018 18:58

Time for the 18 year old to act like the adult she legally is and get herself moved out.

Aquamarine1029 · 24/06/2018 18:59

Your sister is a thief. Is she living in your home or do you both live with your parents? If the home is yours, I would show her the door.

imsorrydarling · 24/06/2018 19:01

Aquamarine - She lives with me. Our mother died when she was 14 so she had decided to live with me and not with our dad anymore.

OP posts:
AnneProtheroe · 24/06/2018 19:02

How would you deal with it if she wasn't related to you?

PlateOfBiscuits · 24/06/2018 19:03

Get a lock on your door.

ApolloandDaphne · 24/06/2018 19:03

Put a lock on your bedroom door so she can't take your stuff.

MyKingdomForBrie · 24/06/2018 19:03

leave - @jenbarber it's OP's house!

ReservoirDogs · 24/06/2018 19:05

Tell.her its time to go to live with your Dad now.

imsorrydarling · 24/06/2018 19:05

What do I do about the missing bag?

I find it strange how after I asked about my jacket in the morning, she didn’t put it back when I had left for the gym. I was gone for around 3 hours, came home, and went out again. She had ample time to put it back. Unless she had no intentions of returning it.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 24/06/2018 19:06

She needs to move back with your dad.

LilQueenie · 24/06/2018 19:06

Sorry If I am wrong but I'm pretty certain I read this post before a while back that I actually checked it wasn't a zombie thread.

She needs to either prove herself to you with better behaviour or you show her the door. Why did she choose to live with you over your dad?

Aquamarine1029 · 24/06/2018 19:06

She either needs to move out or you need to protect your belongings. Lock on your door and cctv throughout the home. How awful that you can't trust your own sister.

Discotits · 24/06/2018 19:07

Agree. Tell her to go and live with Dad if that’s her style.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/06/2018 19:07

I'd just go in her room and turn it upside down.

She wants to be a thief, then she loses her privacy.

Adambarlow · 24/06/2018 19:08

Tell her to go live with your dad.

Dirty little thief. Stop enabling her. Is she paying rent and bills?

Lucked · 24/06/2018 19:09

You could say that if the LV clutch doesn't get returned she will have to go to her dad and see if that gets it back. How you move on is difficult, I am not sure I could live with someone I didn't trust.

TornFromTheInside · 24/06/2018 19:09

Unacceptable. You ask before you borrow. If you didn't ask, it's theft.
Of course siblings take liberties with one another and often the arrangement is highly flexible - but the fact that she's denied having it is an entirely different ball game.

The sad truth is that you're going to have to either lock your room, or she will have to find alternative living arrangements (or you will). You cannot live in the same house as a thief, family member or otherwise. She has no regard for you or your possessions if she's prepared to take things.

imsorrydarling · 24/06/2018 19:10

LilQueenie - I’ve not posted this before so you may be mistaken.

She moved in with me because our dad works away a lot. With our mother passing away she couldn’t have stayed on her own, and going with my Dad for the remainder of his specific contract at that point would have effected her schooling.

OP posts:
GloriousGoosebumps · 24/06/2018 19:15

Has your sister just finished her A levels and, if so, is she planning to go to uni because that would obviously be the easiest answer to the problem. In the mean time I would go through her room and remove everything that belongs to you and put a lock on your bedroom door. It's a pity she has no respect for you or your belongings or the fact that you took her in. How tough are you prepared to be with her?

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 24/06/2018 19:16

She chose not to live with your DF. You can choose not to live with her! Either send her home or kick her out! Is she earning? She may have more respect for the posessions of others in a house share.

HyacinthsBucket70 · 24/06/2018 19:16

I think you need a serious sit down and talk about respect. She's showing you none, and it's not on for her to take your things and lie about it. She's an adult and perfectly able to understand.

As an immediate remedy, get a lock for your bedroom door. And remove some privileges ie change the wifi code until she's got your bag back.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

midnightmisssuki · 24/06/2018 19:18

She needs to move out or move in with friends. Unless you want to put a lock on your door? She’s a thief.

lhastingsmua · 24/06/2018 19:20

Well you’re not quite accusing her if you have photographic evidence and have caught her in the act.

I think your next step is asking her to leave, either moving out for uni, getting her own place, or just going back to her dads.

BewareOfDragons · 24/06/2018 19:24

Out she goes. She can go back to your dad's or find someplace else. I would refuse to live with a lying thief who shows zero remorse for her actions and will continue to lie and steal.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.