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AIBU?

To wonder how people manage with no help?

31 replies

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 24/06/2018 14:00

I need to go out, my son is ill and doesnt want to come. I need to go so there is no choice. I will have to take him in the buggy (he is 4) and carry the baby in the sling (13 months) which I just know is going to be tough! How do other people manage with no help?

OP posts:
Buggeritimgettingup · 24/06/2018 14:05

When I was single patent to 4 I just got on with it tbh, there's not much else you can do is there? Been there git thw t shirt it's tough, unforgiving and hard work. The plus side is you get all the good stuff too.

noeffingidea · 24/06/2018 14:06

I still had a double buggy (though I rarely used it) when mine were that age. Otherwise the oldest would have stood on the back or sat on the hood or something, depending on the buggy.

Gottagetmoving · 24/06/2018 14:08

I just got on with it because I had no choice. I lived in a flat with no phone, no car and two children.
It made me realise I could cope with just about anything.

FrogCow · 24/06/2018 14:09

I’m a single mum. You just cope cos there isn’t any other choice. It’s hard bloody work.

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 24/06/2018 14:09

A double buggy for a 4 yo? hes going school in september. he hasnt wanted to use the buggy since 2.

I have 4 aswell. 2 older ones. Its true not much else but to get on with it.

OP posts:
limon · 24/06/2018 14:10

We all just do the best we can. It's hard thougj

Allthewaves · 24/06/2018 14:11

Double buggy and used corner shop

Allthewaves · 24/06/2018 14:13

Had Phil and Ted so my middle one would often hop in with his baby brother even when he was in first year if school

namechangedtoday15 · 24/06/2018 14:17

When you say no help, do you mean partner / family? Do you have neighbours or friends that once in a while would run an errand for you or who could help you out?

fizzytonicplease · 24/06/2018 14:18

DH was away this weekend and DS 3yrs old thought that would be a perfect time to get sick, the dog needed walking and we don't have a buggy. So i carried DS on the dog walk, it was tough but i kept thinking of all the chocolate i could eat once we got home as i had done a good workout! Im just pleased it wasnt raining.

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 24/06/2018 14:20

No partner (ex is absent.), Dont know any of my neighbours (everyone very much keeps to themselves) Sister but she doesnt help out, Dad is disabled, and no friends.

I dont want to get a double now as doubt it would get any use, DS normally likes to ride his scooter so would hate being stuck in a pram.

OP posts:
Emily7708 · 24/06/2018 14:25

Could you get a buggy board for the back of your buggy? They are quite cheap and I see lots of primary age children on them when I do the school run.

Starlight345 · 24/06/2018 14:30

You make friends to help . When my Ds was a toddler I had a few friends who dropped in calpol and remember rice pudding

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 24/06/2018 14:33

I literally cant make friends for the life of me! It just doesnt happen. Everyone said I would make friends when my children started school but that hasnt been the case at all.

Was thinking of a buggy board. I think I will get one.

OP posts:
hididdlyhoneighborino · 24/06/2018 14:34

Just as you are. Put one in the pram and one in the sling. If you have no choice you either find a way or you don't do it, or you order takeaway/online shopping.

We finally got a car in February though and that's helped immensely with 3 aged 5 and under.

NewYearNewMe18 · 24/06/2018 14:35

When you say you have to go out today, do you really, or could it wait until tomorrow? unless its putting electric/gas on a key, I cant see much reason for going out unless necessary

fleshmarketclose · 24/06/2018 14:41

How old are the older ones? Could they stay with the four year old at home?

lulu12345 · 24/06/2018 14:42

I have no idea how folk do it but I do know they/ you are setting a brilliant example for your children in terms of being able to adapt and cope with diversity.

In a small way, I think apps help in this day and age. Amazon Prime, online food shop, uber, Facebook for finding local tradesmen recommendations, CBeebies games to distract toddler kicking off etc etc

lulu12345 · 24/06/2018 14:42

*gah... adversity not diversity!

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 24/06/2018 14:48

I am not a single parent but my partner works long hours and is often away with work; friends and neighbours can't always help at the drop of a hat so I have been in your position a few times. TBH all I could think of was how lucky I was not to have got rid of the buggy! I remember bundling my very tall, sick 7yo DC1 in the buggy in order to take DC2 to school... it's a pain but it can be done.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/06/2018 14:49

I am chronically ill. My dh has a full on job. Home deliveries for pretty much everything has been my friend.

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 24/06/2018 14:56

Luckily I have his old buggy! He wouldnt fit in the babies pram (very tall for his age.)

I definitely need to go, had to go out yesterday but I couldnt as he wasnt well but was hoping he would improve by today, but he seems worse.

OP posts:

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diddl · 24/06/2018 14:56

I'm guessing the older ones aren't old enough to watch him or do what needs doing?

Zaphodsotherhead · 24/06/2018 15:07

I had one wonderful occasion when two of my four (at the time) had chicken pox, no help, no double buggy and had to do the Christmas shopping. I the baby in a front sling, toddler in a backpack, younger of the older two in the buggy, and one sitting between her legs.

It was horrible. But you cope. And now it's amazing what you can get online!

flutteryleaves · 24/06/2018 15:09

we manage as we have no choice ! we have no-one as my family live overseas and dh's live a couple hundred miles away and dh is away for work overnight, so its bloody tough.

if i'm very ill (happens once a year or so) or have a GP appointment (i have an on-going illness) i book extra nursery sessions and just stump up the £30 for a half day or £56 for a full day and drive to school on the school run although its very busy on the road and i hate doing it.

i still use a pushchair for a child who is fully capable of walking but kicks up a fuss. not all the time but when i need to get stuff done and dont want to fight or plead.

i would love to pop out to the city and browse/pick up stuff without a trail of "i want this" or pop to the supermarket or to the salon.

i would love dh and i just to be able to pop to parents evening together or pop out for a quick meal together.

we are very resourceful! people who have family must have less to worry about! i dont get any offers from friends as probably due to my illness, they know i can't return the favour back

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