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To have lost my belief in God

(85 Posts)
seasideandvanilla Sun 24-Jun-18 08:13:12

I was always a believer. I grew up in a religious household and hated it but I always believed in God. I would pray in times of difficulty and attend church at varying times. I had a very difficult period in 2016 where I prayed a lot and it helped.

Experiencing similar difficulties now and I tried to pray and nothing. I just don’t believe.

I’m sure people who have never believed won’t see a problem but it feels odd and unsettling.

Etino Sun 24-Jun-18 08:15:16

Belief is a gift. Be still and it’ll come. Do you go to church? Can you go through the motions today, can you find some space and quiet?

overmydeadbody Sun 24-Jun-18 08:18:17

I'd say that's great! You are no longer under the spell of ridiculous brainwashing.

You've been liberated!

FindoGask Sun 24-Jun-18 08:20:44

I've never had faith, but having it and then losing it must be a devastating thing. I hope you find peace even if it doesn't come back.

seasideandvanilla Sun 24-Jun-18 08:21:42

I know over, it should be. But I’m frightened too. I can’t explain it. I feel like there’s this big nothing.

Aridane Sun 24-Jun-18 08:23:08

Not sure AIBU is the best place for this

seasideandvanilla Sun 24-Jun-18 08:24:12

Where should I put it rhen, genuinely?

0hCrepe Sun 24-Jun-18 08:24:13

I’m an ex Christian and it is very difficult to let go of that feeling of guilt. Soon you will see things with a lot of clarity, you’ve taken off the cuffs, you’re free. But if praying helps you you can do that. You can do whatever you want.

ilovelamp82 Sun 24-Jun-18 08:24:34

I agree. If you're going through a tough time, why don't you try mindfulness or counselling. No need to worry about not believing in things that aren't real. Just try to discover things that make you feel better mentally and physically. I grew up on a religious house myself although I don't think I ever believed. When my parents passed it was oddly disconcerting being able to just openly not believe so I understand that element but as the previous poster said try to embrace it. It's liberating.

FluttershysCutieMarkTheHerald Sun 24-Jun-18 08:25:06

I'm not a believer OP but I respect other people's beliefs and feel sad hearing your story. As a pp said, I hope you find peace. It must be comforting to believe in a higher power.

ElMarineroBaila Sun 24-Jun-18 08:25:08

See it as a positive. Look at it from a logical and scientific perspective and you'll see you're being very rational. Personally I couldn't believe in it for more than about 5 seconds so it must feel incredibly liberating after all this time.

Sharkwithknees Sun 24-Jun-18 08:25:20

I think it's a great thing. I believe you'll find the science behind life and the universe far more beautiful now you've been liberated from the guise of creation.

seasideandvanilla Sun 24-Jun-18 08:26:14

Counselling is to me what God probably is to many of you smile I’m of the view that it helps people who believe it helps, if that makes sense. In any case, I’ve never been religious in the true sense of the word. But I did always believe and it’s peculiar not believing.

ilovelamp82 Sun 24-Jun-18 08:26:47

Try not to thing of it as the big nothing. Quite the opposite. Learn how to truly appreciate the present.

Ohmydayslove Sun 24-Jun-18 08:27:55

Op it may come back to you. I think with any religious belief it ebbs and flows. Don’t panic and don’t worry. Just go with your feelings.

raisedbyguineapigs Sun 24-Jun-18 08:28:04

Id move this into philosophy/ religion. This happened to me. I always had a dodgy relationship with the Church but always believed in God. then one day I sat in church and thought 'I don't believe any of this at all!' It just dawned on me while I was listening to the Priest. I went a few times afterwards and there were times I had to go because by then DS1 was in Catholic school and there were several church things we were expected to attend but I didn't feel it at all. It's never come back and we eventually took him out of Catholic school so ive never had to go back. I feel better for it tbh, so Im not sure its much help if you want your faith to come back!

Etino Sun 24-Jun-18 08:29:20

Mumsnet Faith Board
Losing faith/ regaining it is sort of the point, the crux I think of faith. The fact that God is not proveable or seeable but that we are called or gifted to believe in Him is faith.

annandale Sun 24-Jun-18 08:30:10

I was never a very good Christian but have lost faith twice. It is a very lonely experience sometimes. I'm an atheist now.

I use a Quaker prayer practice which involves 'holding someone in the light' - picturing the person surrounded by light and thinking of them. It can really help me to focus on what would help them and is very calming.

I also find reading poetry incredibly helpful at difficult emotional times. I immediately thought of a poem that is comforting - will look for a link -

Arcadia Sun 24-Jun-18 08:32:38

Mindfulness meditation is very similar to praying. There is one where you send out live into the world - loving kindness type meditations. You can find them online.

You can still believe in the power of love and the good in people, so focus on that rather than the negatives.

I was very religious as a child and up to my teens but a family tragedy took away my faith. I still enjoy going to church sometimes and have a lot in common with Christian friends in terms of values and the way I try to live. It is a good foundation.

Arcadia Sun 24-Jun-18 08:32:56

Love not live.

annandale Sun 24-Jun-18 08:33:40

Sometimes by Sheenagh Pugh Apparently the poet doesn't like it grin but I think it is a poem that allows for change and emotions.

ButchyRestingFace Sun 24-Jun-18 08:34:00

Are you agnostic or full-on atheist, OP?

I was raised Catholic, went to mass every Sunday throughout childhood. But I never really believed. Even as a child, I was profoundly agnostic about the existence of God and church-going did not help with that, rather the opposite.

Now, that I don't to go church and have little to do with organised religion, I find it easier to believe at least in the possibility of a God, and am content to live my life on a kind of "you'll find out when you're dead" basis. grin

I understand why church going and being a member of an organised community of faith is important to many, and why losing that belief would be devastating.

Maybe it's something you just need to let go off for now and try not to dwell on? By taking the pressure off, perhaps it will come back. Perhaps it won't.

araiwa Sun 24-Jun-18 08:35:31


ButchyRestingFace Sun 24-Jun-18 08:35:57

That's a nice poem, Annandale. Especially the penultimate lines. smile

seasideandvanilla Sun 24-Jun-18 08:36:46

But I don’t want to move it into the faith board because I have no faith grin

I wanted to discuss it and get views from a range of people. Please don’t move my post, MN!

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