To just get up and go?

[sunnyblueskies]

Hi MNers,

I posted not so long back about my emotionally abusive husband.

I think I’m ready to leave with our preschooler.
I was planning on taking out a loan to cover 6 months rent upfront and buy a car. That way I have 6 months while I wait for assistance to come through etc and we have a roof over our heads. I will have a car so I can get to work still (I use his car) and drive our LO to pre school.

Am I able to just pack up and leave while he is at work and take our LO? Does he have any rights? I’ve suffered from depression and ocd in the past and had therapy for it which has been great. But I wondered if this would make me look crazy? Mental health issues mum flees with little one type of thing. I wouldn’t be fleeing. I’ll still be in the same town! Can I do this?
I’m so worried about looking like a crazy person and having our child taken away from me.

AIBU?

Thank you

[LongSummerDays]

Please take advice from women's aid 0808 2000 247

[Bumble1830]

Thats exactly what I did, packed up and left while he was at work, He wouldnt "let" me leave any other way. Go for it. Good luck

[sunnyblueskies]

Thanks long
Bumble good for you. Was the aftermath crap?

[Bumble1830]

@sunnyblueskies It wasn't the best I'm afraid, he inundated me with calls, texts and threats, try to be strong and ignore everything. He will emotionally blackmail you, threaten you, try every trick, but, he will get bored. Every time he threatens you call the police, they will listen to you, I promise. Good luck and be strong

[DianaT1969]

Will you be able to make the loan repayments? I imagine they start a month after you receive the money?
Good luck

[sunnyblueskies]

Bumble that’s what scares me.
Diana yes it’ll be fine. I’m working and will be getting payments from him if not I will be going to his very very comfortable mother!!!

Feel sick. I’ve just been invited abroad to where my mum is on Monday for 5 nights and I’ve been categorically told I can’t go.

[spudlet7]

Well done OP for making the jump. Please call women's aid for advice, they know all about this stuff. Sorry I don't have any advice but didn't want to read and run. for you

[Onlyoldontheoutside]

Taking the jump is the hard bit so wishing you lots of luck.You and your DC will be fine and dismiss all worries about your children being taken from you.Its scarry but you seem to have planned well.
I ran with everything I could fit in a small van and it was hard but worth it.The toughest bit is that step out.
Keep strong and believe in yourself, it's amazing how much of ourselves we loose in relationships.

[Bumble1830]

@sunnyblueskies The hardest bit is actually going. The first day or so can be tough, especially if he rings etc, but keep going, they don't know what to do when they don't have the power and control.