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To expect MIL to be able to look after my baby?

(340 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

NickMyLipple Fri 22-Jun-18 22:31:18

14 week old has been sleeping over at grandma's house every other Friday night for several weeks now. Today when we dropped DD she was a bit snuffly and dribbly and I wondered if she might be starting teething though she's a bit young... maybe she's just under the weather or got a little cold?

Anyway, AIBU to expect MIL to be able to deal with her even if she's a bit poorly and to call us if she is really stuck?

DP thinks I should call and make sure she is okay (his mum, that is!) But I think that's a bit condescending and she should be able to manage and will call us if she can't?

theforceisstrong Fri 22-Jun-18 22:33:26

Are you serious?

10storeylovesong Fri 22-Jun-18 22:33:34

What did MIL say when you dropped her off? Personally I wouldn’t expect anyone else to look after my possibly poorly child if I was able to, especially at only 14 weeks, but if she’s happy with it and so are you then surely that’s what counts?

Xmasbaby11 Fri 22-Jun-18 22:34:00

Wow that's incredibly young to be away from her parents overnight. I'd expect a baby to want her mummy if feeling poorly tbh so wouldn't leave her unless unavoidable.

PurpleDaisies Fri 22-Jun-18 22:34:14

She’s you husband’s mum. If he thinks she’d appreciate a call, let him ring her. What’s the harm in that?

pollyhampton Fri 22-Jun-18 22:34:28

14 week old? Go get her ffs! Please tell me this is a reverse

PurpleDaisies Fri 22-Jun-18 22:34:33

Is this a reverse?

PlateOfBiscuits Fri 22-Jun-18 22:35:07

What PurpleDaisies said.

gamerchick Fri 22-Jun-18 22:36:00

If she was feeling under the weather you wouldn't want her with you? confused your bloke obviously wasn't comfortable. If he had wanted to keep her home would that have been alright with you?

But yes your mil probably can cope.

Although I'm thinking it's a reverse as well.

Leeds2 Fri 22-Jun-18 22:36:10

Let DH ring his mum to check that she (mum) is happy with the arrangement.

8DaysAWeek Fri 22-Jun-18 22:37:42

It's not what you asked, but YABU sending your 14 week old baby off for the night when she's not well

Thehop Fri 22-Jun-18 22:39:00

Such a tiny baby to be left anyway, never mind overnight....never mind poorly!

Amanduh Fri 22-Jun-18 22:40:06

This can’t be real.

Thewheelshavefallenoffthebus Fri 22-Jun-18 22:40:08

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

whosafraidofabigduckfart Fri 22-Jun-18 22:41:10

Why is she there, are you both working ? Or are you both having a night off ?

kaytee87 Fri 22-Jun-18 22:41:33

I'm sure your mil probably can cope. I'm quite surprised that any parent would want their sick newborn away from them though.

Dobbythesockelf Fri 22-Jun-18 22:41:43

Your 14 week old was snuffly etc, and you still left them overnight? And you don't want to ring and see how she Is?

Sugarplumfairy65 Fri 22-Jun-18 22:42:09

Baby will be fine. Of course MIL will manage. I looked after my youngest grandson for a weekend at 10 days old because his mother had flu and dad was working away. As long as baby is fed, changed and cuddled they will survive.

Dermymc Fri 22-Jun-18 22:42:12

Surely you mean 14 months.

NukaColaGirl Fri 22-Jun-18 22:43:55

Being away from your newborn - yes still a newborn at this age - overnight - frequently - is not normal. It’s even less normal that you’re okay sending her away when she’s sick. You need to see a Doctor about depression.

I spent one night away from DD at that age - she was 16 weeks old and I had food poisoning. Coming out both ends every hour with a raging fever. Single parent. And even then my Dad had to prise her from me and I cried all night as I felt so shit about it.

Wellonlyifihaveto Fri 22-Jun-18 22:44:01

Reverse? I hope so ☹️

hellohello12345 Fri 22-Jun-18 22:44:35

I don't agree that she shouldn't have help for one night every other Friday. If it means she can rest, get a proper sleep or get some space that she needs with friends or her husband. If the MIL is happy to have baby overnight it's not an issue. My MIL often slept at our house on a Friday night with our first who was not a good sleeper so I could get a full nights sleep and be a better, rested mummy. Can't believe anyone can say that's not right and that that means the lady wanted a fashion accessory. Ridiculous.

If baby is a bit under the weather then call to check how she is doing as MIL may be worried or concerned. Especially as baby is so young.

goose1964 Fri 22-Jun-18 22:46:54

Judy people here, my kids stayed with my in-laws from weeks old and I've had my grandson since about ,4 months old. If you do it early the baby just sees another carer.

I'd like to be asked but wouldn't say no, I've looked after him at his home when he was ill and Mum and Dad had plans. We spent all day having cwtches and watching children's telly

Thewheelshavefallenoffthebus Fri 22-Jun-18 22:47:21

Hello Hello.... reporting my post

It was harsh but true!

Shouldn’t have a goldfish let alone a child!!

Report away!!! Doesn’t make it any less true!

KatharinaRosalie Fri 22-Jun-18 22:47:28

Don't you want to know how your poorly tiny baby is doing?

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