Patience wearing thin with flaky friend

[xsquared]

To be honest, I’m a bit hurt threat she’s done it again.

Background information: I’ve known my friend from when our dcs were preschoolers and we often meet each other for coffee or lunch on our days off.
She has a habit of either cancelling at the last minute, forgetting that she’s meeting me and double books herself or is very late. She usually insists in going elsewhere when I’ve suggested the place to meet. Sometimes I agree to it and sometimes I stand by my suggestion which usually results in a rearrangement if fate because it doesn’t suit her. This hasn’t really bothered me when I happen to be in town anyway doing my own thing.

I’ve stopped making plans with her in advance now and only meet up with her when we’re nearby each other. So far it’s worked and I no longer get annoyed at her.

Today however, I got a text to say she may or may not be attending a birthday meal tonight, that I told her about a few weeks ago. Given that others will be attending, it won’t be as if It’s being cancelled. However, I feel a little hurt this time.

Not sure what to do. She is good company when I manage to see her but I don’t want to be take. For granted. I don’t feel as she values me as a friend.

[xsquared]

Sorry for typos and length of post!

[Jeezoh]

It depends on the reason for cancelling really. If you think it’s out of her control, then there’s not much to be done but if you think the cancellation is due to her flakiness, I’d call her out on it (politely).

I’ve let friendships drift once I’ve felt for a while that they’re not worth the negative emotions they stir up. Maybe time to let this one drift too perhaps.

[xsquared]

Thanks for your reply.
It’s not an emergency type excuse she gave me which I would understand, but she doesn’t seem to make up her mind about whether she wants to go to things she’s been invited to until the last minute. I’m glad I didn’t have to pay a booking fee.

[Hellywelly10]

Let the relationship drift see if she comes back to you. You could try to mentally downgrade her from friend to aquantance.

[KateGrey]

Is there any anxiety issues? I’ve got a flaky friend and I’m probably seen as flaky as I’ve got two children with special needs and sometimes I’ve had to cancel because they’re having a bad day. I’d probably let things drift a little or accept this is what she’s like.

[xsquared]

I wonder that Kate, which is why I give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I will just let it drift.

[xsquared]

Feeling tired is often cited as a reason, but I don’t think it’s medical.