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To think she was out of order?

(34 Posts)
Cupcakecafe Thu 21-Jun-18 17:21:00

I took my 8w old dc into work this morning so everyone could say hello etc.
One of the middle management came over and said "this is not a safe environment for a child and I want you to leave immediately".
This woman isn't my manager, shes nothing to do with me or my role in the workplace. She is also technically lower ranking than me in terms of wage/seniority hierarchy.
Everyone who has babies there brings them in to say hi to everyone all the time, and never gets asked to leave (obviously unless they have been there hours and no work is getting done).
Aibu to think she is bang out of order to suggest i would ever put my baby in any sort of risk?

Fwiw, its an office and I was sat at a desk next to a colleague with baby in my arms. I had been there 30m and everyone was working as normal, i was even helping out a little. Colleague was still working whilst we were chatting, not stopping work or anything. Colleague is a young girl due her first dc in a few months and is terrified and we were discussing reality with a baby compared to playing with friends children etc.

ScreamingValenta Thu 21-Jun-18 17:28:03

It depends what your workplace policy is. My workplace has a strictly 'no children beyond the reception area' policy, because the environment isn't child-safe (normal office with various hazards). This is well-publicised, and people wanting to bring babies in to show to their colleagues simply arrange to meet them in reception.

If your workplace doesn't have a policy on bringing in children, perhaps you could put the idea forward, so everyone knows where they stand.

Cupcakecafe Thu 21-Jun-18 17:38:03

No policy and people bring children in regularly as it's a predominantly female environment and most have been on maternity leave at some point in the past few years.

It was the way she said it as well, just stormed over glaring at me.
I have very little contact with her at work, and she was actually working at a different office for the majority of my pregnancy so have barely seen her for months

AlmostAJillSandwich Thu 21-Jun-18 17:40:09

Maybe she's struggling to conceive or has lost a baby and it was hurting her having your baby around?

AppleKatie Thu 21-Jun-18 17:40:22

If this is normal practice in your office I would report to her manager that she was rude and out of order.

If you think she may have had a point I would send an email to your manager apologising but asking to be advised properly of the policy and mentioning that she was rude.

LudoFriend Thu 21-Jun-18 17:41:36

She wasn't in the right, but if she's nervous over becoming a mother, I can understand why she reacted the way she did. It doesn't mean she should have done, but fear does funny things to you. Just ignore her and enjoy your new baby.

ScreamingValenta Thu 21-Jun-18 17:43:41

It certainly sounds like she was rude; there was no need for her to glare at you and be abrupt. I know you don't know her very well - but is it possible the subject of babies might be a sensitive one for her?

ScreamingValenta Thu 21-Jun-18 17:45:18

LudoFriend I think the colleague who is nervous about motherhood is a different one from the colleague who told the OP to leave, unless I have misread the OP.

Cupcakecafe Thu 21-Jun-18 17:46:07

I obviously wouldn't know if she had but based on her age I would say unlikely. She also works in a small office off the main one so wasn't actually around as such.
She was just storming around the desks with a face like thunder having a go at people.

There probably should be a policy in place because of the number of people bringing babies in. Since I got pregnant there have been 8 different women on maternity leave, all who have brought their babies in. None of them were ever asked to leave or move.

AttilaTheMusical Thu 21-Jun-18 17:46:35

Whether the subject of babies is sensitive for her or not, her reaction seems way over the top.

SomeKnobend Thu 21-Jun-18 17:47:00

Did you tell her to sod off?

ScreamingValenta Thu 21-Jun-18 17:49:30

Why would her age make it unlikely? If you mean she is past her fertile years, she might have suffered loss/infertility in the past.

Cupcakecafe Thu 21-Jun-18 17:49:47

Different colleague. One who told me to leave is in her 50s with a couple of dc. Colleague I was talking to is 21, 5m pregnant and her boyfriend has just left saying he doesn't love her anymore and can't do it.

I just looked at her in shock more than anything. I said I'll be leaving soon anyway because it's nearly lunchtime and she said no now and walked off.

Cupcakecafe Thu 21-Jun-18 17:51:55

Unlikely to be struggling to conceive due to her age and she has dc in high school so I wouldn't think she wants more.
Also unlikely to be an issue with babies per say as she hasn't said anything to anyone else and usually just coos over the baby. (My dc was fast asleep so not a crying/ noise issue either!)

Foslady Thu 21-Jun-18 17:54:11

And there is your answer - she’s probably worried sick and shit scared and you’ve come in with a happy baby and everything she’d hoped for.
Yes she was out of order, and yes uncalled for, but in the nicest possible way, give her a bit of slack and put yourself in her shoes, it sounds like her life has just collapsed from when she first found out she was pregnant

Stompythedinosaur Thu 21-Jun-18 17:54:34

If lots of people do this and she is only challenging you, then that is unfair and looks like she has a problem with you specifically. If she is your junior then she was definitely out of order and very rude. Perhaps speak to her line manager about this?

That said, 30 mins is a long time to have been distracting the staff who were working. Most people just pop in for a few minutes with babies I think.

LudoFriend Thu 21-Jun-18 17:54:36

Ah, my mistake. Your poor colleague. That's awful, and tbh makes the 50yr old seem worse. In that case, I'd consider reporting it. It was out of order when everyone else is allowed to bring in their newborns.

Foslady Thu 21-Jun-18 17:55:28

So sorry, I misread, thought it was the pregnant lady who had asked you to leave, in that case, yes I’d say she was rude

AmazingPostVoices Thu 21-Jun-18 17:57:00

I’d send a neutrally worded note to your boss explaining what happened and asking for a clarification of the company policy.

ScreamingValenta Thu 21-Jun-18 17:58:12

It sounds as though she might have been having a bad day generally, from what you're saying.

Introducing a policy on this would be a good idea. It would avoid awkwardness in the future and would also be sensible from a risk perspective - e.g. you might want to specify that young babies who can't walk yet are fine, but set an age limit so you don't get older ones coming in who might toddle round and bang their heads on desk corners etc.

beyondthesky Thu 21-Jun-18 17:58:18

You should have told her where to go in no uncertain terms and blamed your hormones/lack of sleep

Racecardriver Thu 21-Jun-18 18:01:12

Very odd. I don't approve of babies in offices but if it is normal in your office I don't see the issue. Maybe she was annoyed that you were distracting pregnant lady?

Bennietheball Thu 21-Jun-18 18:01:19

I think staying for 30 mins is taking the piss. It's not professional. If you wanted a chat with your colleague you meet her at lunchtime or after work not in office hours.

We have many staff on mat leave; none would ever bring baby in to the office for more than 5-10 mins at most. I'm surprised anyone would think 30 mins is acceptable.

Jaqen Thu 21-Jun-18 18:04:13

Even so @Bennietheball, she didn’t have to be such a rude cunt about it.

Myheartbelongsto Thu 21-Jun-18 18:06:34

30 mins would be nothing in my workplace to show off a new baby!

What a bitch she was to do that to you op.

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