This is not really an AIBU because I can't imagine most people thinking IABU to want a certain level of control over my finances, so posting for ideas really.
We have always had a joint account and DH has total control over the finances (in as much as he knows what's coming and what's going out). I earn the lion's share of our income but have no idea on a day-to-day basis about our finances. He tells me often how the state of the mortgage is (very reasonable) and finances and never comments on what I spend - although he will occasionally say "if you need to buy anything major can it wait until e.g. next Monday when the credit card starts again?"
So whilst he has control, he is not in the slightest controlling, if that makes sense. However, I feel that I would like my own account for things like getting him surprises, or just having a bit of independence. I want to broach this but we've been married (very happily) for 14 years and to suddenly lump this on him I feel like he might feel like I'm planning to bugger off or something. I mentioned it back along and he just kind of swept it under the carpet.
He is an inherently lovely man and won't, I'm sure have an issue with it, but I can't see a way forward to starting the conversation and how it would even work. Currently both our salaries get paid into our joint account. Any suggestions gratefully received.
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AIBU?
How to push this without DH thinking I'm having an affair
92 replies
Flippetydip · 20/06/2018 16:32
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