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AIBU?

To have people standing at a wedding?

164 replies

itsallgravybaby · 20/06/2018 16:09

More of a WWYD - hope you follow this long one

We're getting married on a budget and have hired a venue to DIY most of it. 70 guests.

For our evening reception we want to hire a marquee and the recommended size is 6x15 or 6x18 to fit some tables for 50 people and a dance floor. The cost of this is close to £2k but includes delivery, set up, lighting, flooring and dance floor.

The venue have now started hiring a 6x12m out that just goes on the grass but I don't know if it's acceptable to have less seating and just a dance floor and seating for say 30 people. It's only £500 though so a massive saving and we can DIY linings etc and they can also put a dance floor in for us too.

So my questions is AIBU to hope that most evening guests will be up dancing or mingling and not need seating for all 70 guests?

There's also some outside seating (July wedding) and will have lots of foldable chairs knocking about if they can squeeze in. We can't reduce the guest list unfortunately so that's not an option.

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soulrider · 20/06/2018 16:14

Seating for 30 with 70 people in attendance is not enough imo

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Helloflamingogo · 20/06/2018 16:14

I would seriously struggle at a wedding like this to the extent I’d probably go home very early. So I’d say YABU.

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/06/2018 16:14

What’s the plan for food?

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OliviaStabler · 20/06/2018 16:16

Not enough seats.

How will people eat?

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HarshingMyMellow · 20/06/2018 16:17

YABU.
I went to a wedding where the only seating they had were the tables from the wedding breakfast (roughly 25 people.)
I lasted about an hour and a half before making my excuses and leaving.

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Sleepyandtired21 · 20/06/2018 16:18

Not enough seats and I think you could easily spend more setting up than you plan to, I’d bite the bullet and pay the extra

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TerfsUp · 20/06/2018 16:19

That would be a very bad idea.

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PuppetOnAString · 20/06/2018 16:21

You really think 40 people should stand?

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itsallgravybaby · 20/06/2018 16:21

The eating is in a separate room that isn't suitable for dancing and the marquee is on the grass opposite if that makes sense.

We're ordering pizzas in for the evening.

Thanks all, seems like it's a bad idea. What about if we didn't have flooring or linings to make the marquee cheaper - would you care or notice?

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Leeds2 · 20/06/2018 16:22

Will there be any food served? If so, are people expected to eat standing up? Personally, I loathe this so would probably leave early to get something to eat, and to give my feet a rest! But if you are comfortable with it, I would go for it and hope you get nice weather!

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Thesearmsofmine · 20/06/2018 16:22

Bad idea. Where would people eat, sit and chat with a drink,rest their feet?

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Smushrooms · 20/06/2018 16:22

YWBU. That's definitely not ok imo. People need seats. You could have pregnant women, elderly people, people with disabilities or even just people whose shoes are hurting them, and even just your average person will probably feel the need to sit down at times. It's miserable not to be able to do so.

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itsallgravybaby · 20/06/2018 16:22

Also for context I've never been to a wedding outside of a hotel so appreciate the opinions. Obviously a bit naive ha Blush

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Amaried · 20/06/2018 16:23

No that won't work.. no one will dance as they'll be afraid to lose their seats!

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expatinscotland · 20/06/2018 16:23

Very bad idea. I'd never count on outdoors being available in the UK where it might rain. People will want to sit to drink and nibble (tell me it's not one of those weddings where you don't offer any food at all toe evening guests but send them a tacky request to hand over money as a gift). A lot of people don't dance, either.

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itsallgravybaby · 20/06/2018 16:24

I suppose technically there would be seating back in the room we've eaten in (40ft away so no music in there)

As a guest would you appreciate the option of a quiet space? Suppose I shouldn't bank on people wanting to use this tho?

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soulrider · 20/06/2018 16:24

What about if we didn't have flooring or linings to make the marquee cheaper - would you care or notice?

If it's damp at all, which isn't impossible, it's going to be very noticeable very quickly. Even if not, there'll likely be a significant proportion of women in heels which can easily sink into the ground.

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itsallgravybaby · 20/06/2018 16:24

There's a substantial wedding breakfast, pizza and sweets throughout the day from 3-11pm so plenty to eat :)

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itsallgravybaby · 20/06/2018 16:25

Good point about heels @soulrider

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expatinscotland · 20/06/2018 16:25

'Thanks all, seems like it's a bad idea. What about if we didn't have flooring or linings to make the marquee cheaper - would you care or notice?'

Not a good idea as there could be a week of rain before hand or heavy rain on the day and the grass will be miserably sodden, in which case, yep, people will notice.

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Clionba · 20/06/2018 16:26

No, you have to provide seating.

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BritInUS1 · 20/06/2018 16:26

Can you not just use the room you have eaten in for dancing?

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catinasplashofsunshine · 20/06/2018 16:26

Are you expecting everyone to stay inside the marquee, but not providing enough chairs? I think if it's ok if it's an open sided thing on a warm evening and people are all over a big garden perching on walls or sitting on the grass as well as enough chairs for people who actually need chairs. Also if there's no meal just drinks and snacks.

You can't confine everyone to a small marquee without anywhere for 40 of the 70 to sit and expect people to stay long unless they are all students...

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soulrider · 20/06/2018 16:27

I've been to a wedding with a similar set up with a dining area and bar then a covered walkway to a marquee next door. It was really nice to have seating in a quiet space away from the music but it was in addition to rather than instead of seating round the dancefloor.

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PuppetOnAString · 20/06/2018 16:28

You can’t rely on the outdoors in the UK.

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