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School and 'rules' re shorts under dress

(468 Posts)
oblada Wed 20-Jun-18 07:23:38

Before I take this further quick 'poll'; does your school insist that girls wear shorts under their dress if they want to mess about at break time in a way that could involve someone seeing their knickers? Would you expect a rule like this? My daughter is saying that her school and her after school club have told her off for doing gymnastic 'moves' during break time whilst wearing a dress with no shorts or tights underneath. She says she's been told it's 'rude' because people can see her knickers. She is 6yrs old btw. I think this is completely bonkers and she should be allowed to do as she wish as long as she is not actually showing her 'privates' to people on purpose. Underpants are underpants and are not offensive (to me). Of course I don't know yet how much she has actually been told off, or whether it's peer pressure rather than school so I'll go and ask later. But thought I'd gather some views!

FearOfFrogs Wed 20-Jun-18 07:27:51

It was not that long ago that 6 year olds did PE in their vests and pants.

disahsterdahling Wed 20-Jun-18 07:28:34

It's a nonsense. If people don't want to see underwear, they don't have to look! It's another example of making women cover up because men can't control themselves.

Nothisispatrick Wed 20-Jun-18 07:29:52

I work in a school and we don't have a rule like that. Apparently they're called 'modesty shorts', there was a thread on here the other day about them. The name is gross imo.

SoddingUnicorns Wed 20-Jun-18 07:30:59

I haven’t heard of it as an actual rule. I’ve bought wee cycling shorts for under DDs pinafores and dresses when she starts school because the playground faces on to a busy road, and I don’t want her to feel restricted by what she can and can’t do in the playground.

If that’s wrong, fair enough.

SuperDandy Wed 20-Jun-18 07:31:01

We had a lunchtime supervisor tell a girl that she had to wear shorts. I spoke to the head who confirmed it's not required as part of uniform policy. We asked for all staff to be reminded that it's not policy, and they did.

I was ready with arguments if they said it was required. Along the lines of restricting girls physical activities on bogus grounds. They sit cross legged in class and show their pants all day anyway, so the decency argument is sheer rubbish.

4GreenApples Wed 20-Jun-18 07:31:15

No rule like that at my DCs school.

liz70 Wed 20-Jun-18 07:31:51

No, and no way would I tolerate them insisting that my 8 year old DD wears shorts over her pants under her skirt or dress. In fact I would be up in arms about if they did. Leaving aside the fact that, apart from obviously dangerous, offensive or hate-inciting and other inappropriate clothing, a state primary school cannot enforce a dress code. But no, they're sensible enough not to. Standard pants under school dress, skirt or pinafore is perfectly adequate, no extra shorts or anything else required

shiklah Wed 20-Jun-18 07:32:53

There was no rule like that at dd and do school and when the head took them on a 4 hour walk loads paddled in the river in their pants. As they should.

Strax Wed 20-Jun-18 07:33:24

No, although quite a lot of parents do put their girls in shorts under dresses anyway. I think it's beyond ridiculous that the girls can't wear shorts or trousers at our school though.
My daughter spends a lot of time upside down on climbing frames. She wears pants, people see the pants, so what? She's only 7.

FiestaThenSiesta Wed 20-Jun-18 07:33:32

Do you tell her she doesn’t need to say please or thank you either? Because she doesn’t, but most people would consider her rude. If you don’t want to teach her not to show her underwear in public at 6, when do you think you might want to? Hopefully before secondary school.

SumerisIcumenin Wed 20-Jun-18 07:34:18

In my school it’s optional, no comments by adults made. I have had discussions when other children age 6 have been critical of a girl not wearing shorts, and reinforced the line of personal choice. I link it to leotards and swimming costumes and not making people feel uncomfortable about their choices.

liz70 Wed 20-Jun-18 07:34:35

hmm at Fiesta bodyshaming little girls.

postcardsfrom Wed 20-Jun-18 07:34:47

No and if they told our 6 year old that she had to wear shorts for ‘modesty’ or tried to stop her doing any activity just because someone might glimpse her knickers i’d Tell them where to stick it!

sugarPlumFairly Wed 20-Jun-18 07:35:23

All those saying that they're offended would, I'm fairly certain, be the first ones suggesting that men / boys can't see girls in their pants or share changing rooms or anything else like that.

We don't have this rule because the uniform is a skort (pair of skorts?).

I think it's rude to show underwear. I tell boys to hoist up their trousers if they're showing pants. This isn't about women being controlled, it's about common decency and skirts. No doubt she can wear something which doesn't flash her knickers - shorts or trousers?

SnuggyBuggy Wed 20-Jun-18 07:35:36

I think it's OTT for a 6 year old but talking to my mother knickers aren't what they used to be. She reckoned that they used to be wider with more grip round the legs. I would feel a bit bare with just a skirt and knickers but wouldn't have as a child.

postcardsfrom Wed 20-Jun-18 07:37:22

Fiesta - our little girl isn’t ‘showing’ her knickers to anyone. She’s running and jumping and playin and doing handstands. And if she’s wearing a dress or skirt she’s still jumping and playing and doing handstands. If she’s was lifting up her skirt and flashing at pensioners on the bus that would be a different thing...

cistersofterfy Wed 20-Jun-18 07:37:53

This is why dresses are stupid imho. They restrict what girls can do. FWIW I used to tuck my dress over and into the bottom of my knickers before doing gymnastics at break times. Then you can't see so much.

But girls shouldn't be in this position in the first place. I think pants are private btw and not a good idea to be flashing them around at school, innocent as it is.

grasspigeons Wed 20-Jun-18 07:38:00

No, we don't have a rule like that either and the school I work at or either school my children went to at that age.

Does the school let girls wear shorts or those summer jumpsuit things

cordeliavorkosigan Wed 20-Jun-18 07:38:58

I gave up on this and bought dance shorts for mine. There was just no winning it, not so much at school where they are a bit more thoughtful and would probably agree on the idea that we shouldn’t restrict girls’ activities, but at the after school club. My dds both like dance, and didn’t mind. Now dd2 seems to want to wear thin soft denim cutoffs under there, because they have sequins on them. Whatever.

DayKay Wed 20-Jun-18 07:40:38

There’s nothing wrong with a child playing and swing a flash of knickers whilst there doing it but it does annoy me too that girls are in this position. Boys never are. No danger of them flashing their pants by mistake while they climb a tree.

liz70 Wed 20-Jun-18 07:41:08

My 8 year old DD3 just laughs if one of the boys she plays with shouts "I can see your pants!" while she's flying around on the roundabout or whatever. If children feel any shame at that age it's because adults have induced them too. Why not go the whole hog and bring back pantalettes. hmm

Gileswithachainsaw Wed 20-Jun-18 07:41:31

Our school doesn't insist. And I would complain if they did.

Many of the girls do wear shirts my dd included but that was her choice. We have never been able to find trousers that fit her and are comfortable so she has to wear skirts.

Dd2 doenst though. But they both wear those m&s seamless shorts pants. Much better coverage , no stupid scalloped lace bits to itch your arse vulva or thighs.

Girls pants are often more decorative than anything else. Not really fit for purpose. The "shorties" or "boy shorts" are better.

SumerisIcumenin Wed 20-Jun-18 07:42:19

Sugarplum, all children should be taught about bodily autonomy. In secondary, boys who haven’t grown up understanding what respect looks like in action are the ones who struggle with managing their behaviour and acting appropriately around girls. My DD and my DS have realigned a number of viewpoints, as have their friends.

keiratwiceknightly Wed 20-Jun-18 07:42:45

I hate this. That said, when my dd2 reaches about 8, she switched to wanting tailored shorts or culottes for school so she could cartwheel unrestricted (her choice). Practical solution to an irritating and unnecessarily prudish problem. But not at 6!

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