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To have explained periods to my 10 year old daughter?

(269 Posts)
youdialwetile Wed 20-Jun-18 02:23:53

My daughter was at a friend's birthday today and I just got a text from birthday girl's mum with a heads up that periods came up in conversation. All very friendly - said my DD and one guest said they had read the same book about it - the other 2 girls want to borrow the book. I replied that I'd be happy to drop it off. Then other book-reading guest's mum replied that yes, her DD had the book "but has not read THAT chapter" and if her DD knows about periods it's news to her with sad face emoji. Now I feel I'm branded the weirdly irresponsible parent exposing kids to inappropriate information. I'm in the USA which I think makes a difference - but British. Do I reply or ignore? It's a group text for the 5 mums with girls at the party plus host. They are all 10 years old.

VimFuego101 Wed 20-Jun-18 02:26:30

Of course YANBU, I started my periods at 9 20-something years ago. I imagine it's much more common to start at that age nowadays. I would hate for my child to start and wonder what was happening because I hadn't discussed it with them first.

TheOriginalEmu Wed 20-Jun-18 02:31:18

If her child isn’t aware of periods at 10 then she is in the wrong. Both my daughters had been having periods for a year by the time they were 10!

LucyFox Wed 20-Jun-18 02:34:35

At what age does she think she should be discussing this with her daughter?

JELLYFISHANDCHIPS Wed 20-Jun-18 02:34:42

My daughter is 11 and a good few of her friends have started their periods so no YANBU. Of course a ten year old girl needs to know.

Zoflorabore Wed 20-Jun-18 02:36:34

My 7 year old dd knows about periods, it's not something I want her to be scared of and it's not a taboo subject.

huha Wed 20-Jun-18 02:37:13

YANBU. Like it or not the girls are talking about it. I got mine a book and we look and read it together.

youdialwetile Wed 20-Jun-18 02:37:58

Had a reply from the mum of the other girl (the other non-book reader). Also unaware of periods yet. Oh god I'm going to be flamed for this! Hold on - host Mum has just replied that that girl knew about pads...but the mum says the DD doesn't know about periods.

mozzybites Wed 20-Jun-18 02:46:12

That is quite odd, they are running the risk of them starting and not knowing what is happening. My dd 10 knows the basics, she doesn't really want to know, but I think she is old enough she needs some idea. We are also in the US and a mum was talking about her DC trying to hatch eggs, going to many lengths, DH and I where pretty surprised when it turned out DC had no idea what was required to fertilise. And thus hatch an egg at that age. Maybe sex education is much more taboo here?

Hausfullofgrls Wed 20-Jun-18 02:54:19

My 6,7,8, and 9 year old girls know about periods. And puberty. Anyone who hides this info is hurting their children. It's not taboo and it's a normal part of life.

MrsDrSpencerReid Wed 20-Jun-18 02:54:27

YADNBU

My 8yo DS knows the basics about periods! My 11yo DD has known for years, hasn’t started yet but has loads of information books and starter kits smile

Audree Wed 20-Jun-18 02:55:21

These women are irresponsible.
I would be tempted to reply with a sad face too. Or a thumbs up emoji. Or something equally childish.

Topseyt Wed 20-Jun-18 02:55:37

Ignore them. If anyone does flame you then tell them to bugger off.

Given that many girls do start their periods at 10 or 11, it is best that they know what to expect. That can't be much different in the US.

AlmostGrockle Wed 20-Jun-18 02:56:33

YANBU. I started mine at ten and wasn't the first in my year, so she needs to know.

BuckysRoboticArm Wed 20-Jun-18 03:04:26

Of course yanbu. The earlier girls come to realise that periods are a healthy and not only normal but an important part of being a woman, the better. Good grief, I’ve even very briefly explained my period to my 3 year old because she still follows me to the bathroom and has seen me change pads and asked questions. Girls can get their period as young as 10 anyway (although less common) and they deserve to be prepared with knowledge about their bodies. Periods are a vital reflection of the state of your health too. Your period will tell you about the health of your hormones and any nutritional deficiencies you may have. Periods are an integral part of us, they are more than just a means to having a baby. We don’t educate enough on the topic quite frankly. It should not be taboo at all. I’m not saying overwhelm with so much information at a young age of course but we should be comfortable discussing the very basics at least. How ridiculous not to.

My mum was never taught anything in time, she got her period at age 11 in the seventies and thought she was bleeding to death and dying. She cried and even hid it at first as she was so scared. Can you even imagine? The memory still haunts her. Thank god times are moving on.

Candyflip Wed 20-Jun-18 03:08:01

10 is far too late, loads of girls start before then and would be really scared if they are not armed with the facts. I am in the US and all my children’s friends knew well before age 10.

Sillybilly1234 Wed 20-Jun-18 03:09:13

They need to know at 10.

My daughter's started hers on a school trip away. Luckily I had told her about them two weeks before because she knew what was going on and didn't think she was dying like I did when it happened to me. Mum didn't tell me about them before mine started.

heresyandwitchcraft Wed 20-Jun-18 03:09:42

YANBU
I am reminded of that awful opening scene of Carrie whenever people don't talk about periods. Girls NEED to know about this, from someone they trust, in a way they can ask questions and feel supported but not scared or ashamed.

motherlondon Wed 20-Jun-18 03:19:23

YADNBU - she's setting the poor kid up to be fearful or perplexed when she does get her periods!
My nearly 8 year old asked me what tampons were the other day - she'd seen them in my bag and bathroom - I told her that as girls mature, blood comes out once a month, which means that a healthy environment is being kept for having babies later.
She was 'ok, thanks'

acornsandnuts Wed 20-Jun-18 03:24:59

Don’t worry op. They are wrong. At 10 children should know about periods. It’s not a dirty secret and by making it so they are risking their daughters thinking it is. Mine grew up asking questions and getting age appropriate answers so it was never a taboo subject. Why should it be?

ASimpleLampoon Wed 20-Jun-18 03:28:01

YANBU. They could start at 9 or 10, although most will be later, the earliest ones will be starting at this age so best be prepared, and even if they don't they need to know so that if it happens to a friend they understand what's going on.

I have explained to my 5 year old because when we went to to toilet during a shopping trip together she asked why I was wearing a nappy!

I don't think it's appropriate at all to be encouraging secrets and shame around the subject of menstruation. It needs to be talked about openly and frankly and without any awkwardness.

BikeRunSki Wed 20-Jun-18 03:31:36

Both DS and DD knew at 6!

SnuggyBuggy Wed 20-Jun-18 03:36:23

It's pretty dumb for them not to know about periods at that age. Does the school not teach them about periods though.

Dixiechickonhols Wed 20-Jun-18 04:04:47

Much better to get gently used to the idea. Plus heck of a shock if girl starts and no one told her. Mine started recently age 12 and was the LAST in her group of closest friends to start. I know primary school discussed periods yr 6 and gave them a lilets freebie pack aimed at young girls so age 10/11. Sanitary protection if needed was on dds brownies kit list and brownies are age 7-10 or 11. I remember explaining what it meant to her when she was 7. Age of starting must be same or earlier than Uk in Usa so they are doing the girls no favours.

Coyoacan Wed 20-Jun-18 04:05:26

It's odd how people are squeamish about ordinary bodily functions.

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