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Sister is sticking her head in the sand

(94 Posts)
ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:00:13

AIBU I have come to a cross roads with my older DS she is 65 divorced for 30 years she is due to be made homeless as her ex wants the proceeds from the house he's been paying mortg for 30 years she has a few savings a tiny pension and a few caring jobs no collateral no way on earth to raise a mortg local authority waiting list is 5 years long

myself and dh have tried to advise her in what to do (were not experts) as her kids have almost washed their hands of her she is nearly at the panicking stage but not quite yet

there is no money for solicitors C.A.B
waiting list is 6 months long as well I can't see her out on the streets but what is her next move

I am worried sick

Pinkgeorge Tue 19-Jun-18 19:05:40

Is the house in joint names?

LittleOwl153 Tue 19-Jun-18 19:05:55

What will she get from the sale of the house?

If she is made homeless what are her chances then with local authority?

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:08:02

no the house isnt in joint names

DelphiniumBlue Tue 19-Jun-18 19:08:41

Was any financial order made when she divorced? If ex had been paying the mortgage, is it his sole name or joint names?
Also wondering if she knew all along that ex would eventually want to realise his capital, or if this is unexpected?
If you can give more detail, it would help.

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:08:50

the ex has said in a letter he will give her half

Notevilstepmother Tue 19-Jun-18 19:10:32

If she is homeless through no fault of her own the wait may be less. Tell her to ask to see someone at the council for advice now, not whenit happens. They should be be able to advice her.

Notevilstepmother Tue 19-Jun-18 19:12:00

Is half the money enough to buy a much smaller property, perhaps a one bed flat in a cheaper area?

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:12:35

in the letter he was SURPRISED that she was still living there I KNOW I do suspect she hasn't been entirely up front with all the info even now she can't say his name and thats over 30 years ago
not sure there was any financial arrangement She is talking about going after his pension but with no funds for solicitors I think its a no go

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:13:46

no half the money will not nearly cover it I have researched GUMTREE and in our area (midlands) its 450 pm for one ROOM

INeedNewShoes Tue 19-Jun-18 19:15:09

If she's going to get half presumably that'll buy her a one bedroom flat in a cheaper area locally? If he's been paying the mortgage 30 years it must be nearly paid off.

INeedNewShoes Tue 19-Jun-18 19:15:47

Sorry, cross post

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:15:59

Notevil, I have tried to start proceeding the the council they give properties out via a points system she would have to be one legged blind deaf and dumb …… you get my point sorry for the offence but I am so worried for her

thedevilinablackdress Tue 19-Jun-18 19:18:03

How much is she likely to get? Roughly.

LadyPeacock Tue 19-Jun-18 19:19:00

So are you saying he's continued paying the mortgage on a house she has been living in for 30 years after they divorced??

He sounds like a gentleman. Surely she is not surprised he finally wants to sell?

DoneDisappeared Tue 19-Jun-18 19:19:22

She needs to speak to someone at Shelter and possibly, make a homeless application at the local council when the time comes

Troels Tue 19-Jun-18 19:26:54

What is the house worth? 1/2 the value should be enough to buy something small surely. At worst she could move to somewhere smaller and in a cheaper area. I'm sure there are towns cheaper than where you live.

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:34:15

no she is not surprised but she has known this is going to happen for years and has been sticking her head in the sand Yes he has been a gentleman I have nagged and nagged her about the situation but she took no notice

ednclouda Tue 19-Jun-18 19:35:25

possibly 80K shes had valutions done very recently

FASH84 Tue 19-Jun-18 19:37:25

Half the money might get her one of those homes on a retirement community, the ones that look like a cross between a bungalow and a mobile home

MynameisJune Tue 19-Jun-18 19:38:12

There are houses in my area N lincs for less that 80k, she could buy outright.

Nanna50 Tue 19-Jun-18 19:39:19

He has paid a mortgage on a house for 30 years and he’s surprised she is still living in it, how did he not know? He’s going to give her half the money, is it not paid off by now? Why can’t she private rent? And I’ve never heard of a waiting list for CAB but what about Shelter? They do housing and benefits advice.

Brahumbug Tue 19-Jun-18 19:40:08

So, she had lived rent free for 30 years whilst he has paid the mortgage, and presumably paid for his own accommodation. He is now selling up and giving her half of the house value, and she still wants more and go for half of his pension? Jesus. Is there no end to some people's greed!shock

ohreallyohreallyoh Tue 19-Jun-18 19:41:23

What financial arrangements were made as part of the divorce? Did they just divorce or was a financial order also made? Does she have a copy if a financial order was made?

She needs to get her head out of the sand. She is probably terrified but that isn’t going to help. She may have legal recourse but she will need to get her ducks in a row very quickly. Try wikivorce.com for further help online (I think there is also a helpline) and I second Shelter because it will be a homelessness issue which they are experts in.

mayhew Tue 19-Jun-18 19:42:08

The charity Shelter has a telephone helpline. It's on their website.

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