Diabetic child and mother in law.

[Booie09]

My DC is a type 1 diabetic so today before they did a sporting activity after school they had their finger tested and a biscuit was given to keep her levels stable, after they had finished I checked again and her levels were slightly above what they should be anyway they asked for a snack and I said no because their levels would rise and they would be eating dinner within the next hour anyway they got upset and they left for hone with MIL. When I arrived home my DC said that I had made them Angry and upset that I had refused them a snack to which my MIL replied I took them in the shop and bought them some sweets but said they can't have them now but can have them with dinner Aibu to be pissed off that I look like the bad guy again!!

[KirstenRaymonde]

Did MIL know their levels were high? Why didn’t you just give them some insulin if their levels were high? (My DP is T1)

[Booie09]

Yes she knew she was high...also if I gave her insulin for her snack that means she would not be eating till 6.30 which I think is a bit late.

[Booie09]

Also insulin could of sent her low as she was just out of range.

[Sirzy]

How old is the child? It sounds like she doesn’t properly understand if she is getting angry?

[DextroDependant]

Could you have given a low carb snack? My T1 gets very hungry.

Also I don't understand the problem of not having the sweets with dinner? You just count them in with the carbs and bolus for the lot.

[NomNomNomNom]

YANBU assuming MiL knew you had said no to snack she shouldn't have gone back on that. That said as a one off it's no biggie. She might have just not thought that carefully about it and was trying to be nice.

[BarbarianMum]

I don't think she undermined you or made you look like a bad guy. I think she just wanted to make her grand daughter feel better. Which (to me) seems reasonable in this circumstance- she couldn't have a snack then because of her diabetes (which sucks but there it is) but she can have something later.

[CardsforKittens]

Maybe I'm old fashioned but in my view no one should buy sweets for a diabetic child without the permission of the child's parents.

OP, can your DC tolerate fruit? For some people with diabetes it works quite well as a pre/post exercise snack.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

Also insulin could of sent her low as she was just out of range.

Surely you carb count to be able to give her the right dose, or was she only recently diagnosed and you're still figuring it out?

Your mother-in-law's solution sounds great to me. Your daughter gets the snack she wants but at a time when it's easier to manage. Your solution is that she doesn't get what she wants and is happy.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

Your solution is that she doesn't get what she wants and is unhappy.

[Booie09]

We do carb count but their levels have been all over the place the last few days I just wanted to see what there levels were at dinner time without haveing a snack!! I guess your all right!! Just feeling a bit shitty that I upset them.

[bonzo77]

Regardless of the diabetes. Child asked. You said no. MIL undermined you.

[Booie09]

bonzo77 thank you

[BarbarianMum]

No she didn't. OP said her dd couldn't have anything then, not later.

Sympathy OP. Its horrible when your child's medical condition means they have to be treated differently.

[Booie09]

DailyMailReadersAreThink Maybe I am one of the dying breed that actually says no to there children....

[ArkAtEee]

Loving the insulin advice from people who have no idea how you or your child manage their diabetes I have T1 myself and everyone is different. As @bonzo77 replied, the issue is MIL undermined you, YANBU.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

Maybe I am one of the dying breed that actually says no to there children....

Being a diabetic child is hard (I was diagnosed at 10). She wants to be like her friends who can have a snack without worrying about how much to inject and the impact it might have four hours later.

My advice, having been in your daughter's position and now seeing it from an adult perspective, is to pick your battles and don't make her diabetes into the enemy by being too strict.

[DextroDependant]

Sympathy @Booie09 my son's levels have been nuts this last week too, went from 8.5 to 3.5 in less than an hour, no apparent reason.

[Booie09]

I'm usually a bit more relaxed but as I said her levels have been all over the place this week from 1.4 to 19.6....

[MarieVanGoethem]

Ach. That's really difficult OP.

How old is your DC & how well do they understand the reason for testing levels & (to oversimplify...) adjusting food &/or insulin around what their readings are? It sounds, from what you said, as if your MIL was trying to be helpful & just failed spectacularly - is the diagnosis quite recent?

Does your DC have a nurse who helps manage their care that you could arrange an appointment with, even if it's just a phone appointment (I can contact the team of asthma nurse specialists between OP appointments if I need to, for example) to discuss how best to manage situations like this? It might be that they'd advise a snack+insulin & eating later would be better if your DC is really hungry when they finish exercising. Maybe the Diabetes UK helpline could advise? I don't mean to suggest I don't think you know what you're doing, it's not that at all - I just know that getting the expert input can be helpful-reassuring; & depending on the age of your DC, they may be more responsive to information/"rules" coming from a HCP. If, rather than Helpful it was Underminding & you've been having other issues with your MIL & DC's diabetes diagnosis & management, sharing call [outcome] with them might help too?

Sorry you'd to deal with the extra stress though. Having to constantly manage that balancing act is exhausting; & if you've ever seen your DC severely unwell as a result of their diabetes I'm sure that's hard to push out of your mind.

Hope that DC you can have a calm-quiet evening

[bonzo77]

Barbarian the OP said no. Your argument that the “no” only applied right then is exactly the kind of smart arse comment my 8 year old would make. Or the passive-aggressive retort of someone trying to play good cop bad cop. My mother would have asked me if she could get DC treats for later.

[Booie09]

They have been diagnosed nearly 3 years and they are 9. We have a great team who I have spoken to this week about there levels!! If it had been a hour earlier they could of had a snack and insulin but it was just the wrong time for dinner! They understand really well and they had a lovely pudding for dinner so they are all happy.

[DextroDependant]

Glad it all is forgotten about and DC is happy again.

Blood levels can cause awful mood swings in DS so that doesn't help either.

Can you give cheese or sugar free jelly or cucumber if they are really really hungry. That works with DS as they are very very low carb (if any).

[crazymumofthree]

Both my DS's are type one and I completely understand the frustration that comes around snack time! You don't really want to give them extra injections if you don't need to! I don't think you DMIL was doing it to undermine you it sounds like she was just trying to cheer them up a bit! I would let them have it and add it into the the dinner amount. Mine only have sweets with meals now. We also have one Tupperware box with carb snacks and one with carb free stuff for when they are too high to have a normal snack (little fridge raider bags, cheese, cuecumber, ham etc with a frozen pack in it to keep it cool)

I also find when high it makes my 6 year old DS very angry and grumpy - after speaking to the team and he has also seen a psychologist within the team apparently this is very common when high!

[FatCow2018]

Why is 6.30 too late for dinner for a 9 year old?! baffled by this.