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to feel I've become middle-aged and irrelevant almost overnight?

(161 Posts)
WhatsGoingOnEh Tue 19-Jun-18 13:13:03

I've just turned 47. And I don't know what's happened! I use to understand memes and cultural references, but now I understand barely 1 word out of 10 in my DC's conversations.

I crave old-fashioned values like kindness, punctuality (I never used to be punctual!!!) and reliability.

Bits of my job (marketing) annoy me now. When people talk about "creating stories" I just think, "oh shut up, you ponce".

I buy things because they look well-made rather than cool.

I crave silence, and reading, and little treats with a coffee. My face scares me if I don't have make-up on. I'm suddenly into gardening.

I'm realising I've probably blown my chances to be a best-selling novelist and TV presenter/Instagram influencer, but I'm finding I'm not really that bothered about it.

My DH is 2 years older and he pusses me if when he suggests going to gigs in the pub, because I've been doing that for 30 years and would just like a nice dinner party, really.

I feel I've gone from young to old in 6 months. Is this normal? Is this how it happens?

WhatsGoingOnEh Tue 19-Jun-18 13:14:31

pusses me if

You know what I mean.

Hideandgo Tue 19-Jun-18 13:15:55

Love this post. I’m 36 and identify with a lot of it.

But that’s ok right? As long as we get enjoyment and pleasure it doesn’t matter where it comes from!

I do sometime hear a song though and it brings me right back to my wild years and oh how I briefly long for those happy, drunk, friends and music filled nights of pure adventure.

Amrapaali Tue 19-Jun-18 13:18:42

<applauds loudly>

I am aiming for this state of affairs. I have just turned 40 and am already down this path. The job bit especially...I do roll my eyes at my colleagues a lot most working days

CookPassBabtridge Tue 19-Jun-18 13:21:07

I'm 33 and getting into gardening, I love it! I agree that you should do whatever makes you happy. Maybe to you it feels sudden but you've probably been fed up of 'younger' stuff for a while and now you're just letting yourself change.

MaudlinMews Tue 19-Jun-18 13:22:56

I'm older than you and I remember this point exactly! grin

It's because none of it is aimed at you because you have more sense and know your own mind it's aimed at the young uns, so you rightly feel both irritated and marginalised.

We have a load of twentysomething sales people at work who talk like this and I have to stifle yawns as I really have heard it all before but to them it's ground-breaking and innovative. I just want a nap.

Judashascomeintosomemoney Tue 19-Jun-18 13:23:28

When people talk about "creating stories" I just think, "oh shut up, you ponce"
Thanks for the first guffaw of the day! I’m soon to be the same age as you, in a week in fact, but I’ve been feeling all this and more for some time now. I sort of like it though. Yes, I’m middle aged and grumpy (probably) I’m definitely not irrelevant though. And the next time DH does something irritating I’m am going to be telling him he’s really pussing me if. grin

LeighaJ Tue 19-Jun-18 13:31:17

I'm suddenly into gardening.

That's one of my lesser fears about getting old, because I have a jet black thumb. I can kill any plant I'm in a house with too long. sad So if I get a sudden love of gardening in the future it's going to be a blood bath.

Candlelight123 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:34:37

Yup to gardening, trying different types of tea & coffee and early (ish) nights. My rock n roll days are behind me, and I don't care!

AntiqueSinger Tue 19-Jun-18 13:35:00

For me its a bit more complicated. I have always been a bit of an old soul and I was never really trendy even when young. I was the pathetic loner girl with her head in books and I preferred solitary quiet pursuits. Never lost my head over boybands, wasn't interested. Preferred Lionel Richie, and old Jazz. Always liked planting things in the garden.

So now I find myself doing a sort of misbegotten reverse. Now interested in new music, spend a lot of time following new artists on Youtube and my instagram includes young modern graffiti and free-running artists. Recently got back into gaming.

But in terms of my body, I feel much older! It recently dawned on me just how much fashion is aimed at young women with teenage and 20 something bodies. Even in shops that supposed cator for older women like Marks & Spencer. Pees me off. Its definitely harder to look the age my brain tells me I am.

Lycanthropology Tue 19-Jun-18 13:35:13

I'm just a little older than you, OP, and can reassure you that the next stage is that you don't care that you're middle aged and irrelevant.

It's very liberating!

GrumpyOlderBloke Tue 19-Jun-18 13:35:30

Well done. You are finally an adult.

Some get there in their 20's, some much later.

Most marketers never get there.

FredSheeran Tue 19-Jun-18 13:40:05

I saw an advert for the latest Now compliation and commented sadly to the nearest teen that I didn't recognise any of the artists on it. She looked sympathetic and said that it was a shame since only 'people your age' would buy it anyway - everyone else would just stream what they wanted on Spotify or Apple Music which I am paying for

Merryoldgoat Tue 19-Jun-18 13:42:12

Are you me?

I said ‘I like their bin store’ to my DH the other day and realised there was no coming back from this.

HesterShaw1 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:42:52

"pusses me if"

You sound like the policeman from 'Allo 'Allo (and I know you're old enough to remember that grin )


lidoshuffle Tue 19-Jun-18 13:45:09

It's a bit of a shock when you first hit the threshold, but wonderful once you're passed into the house of the Older Woman and Don't Give a Damn. I've never been happier and appreciate all I've got and all I have had, and so happy to paddle my own canoe without worrying what others think.

FlyingElbows Tue 19-Jun-18 13:45:39

I don't care that I'm middle aged and irrelevant, it's bloody brilliant and I'm only 41!

ichifanny Tue 19-Jun-18 13:45:39

I feel the same OP I’m 37 I crave comfort and predictability and nice steady people and no adrenaline or drama ,
I’ve went from loving fashion to wanting to wear utilitarian plain stuff and well made shoes . I actually love it though , nice solid dependable friends who are the same each time you see them .

crunchymint Tue 19-Jun-18 13:46:25

Hate to say it, but unless you live to 94 years old, you are already past middle age.
As long as you enjoy your life, it doesn't really matter.
But I do identify with getting irritated with poncey talk at work. I do remember when I was young and believed all that stuff, older colleagues getting irritated with it. I am waay more cynical now.

ichifanny Tue 19-Jun-18 13:46:37

Happily enjoying my luxury spray mop today and wondering at my clean zoflora floors .

lborgia Tue 19-Jun-18 13:48:10

I am the same age as you, and exactly this has happened. Feels like overnight, it was about 6months ago blush and now I just want brewcake

lborgia Tue 19-Jun-18 13:49:07

Ps, my dh comes home spouting jargon and I try not to snort.

ichifanny Tue 19-Jun-18 13:49:15

I work with lots of early twenty something girls and I swear all they talk about is dieting and looking good in clothes , that used to be me but it occurred to me the other day what a colossal waste of time all that was .

clumsyduck Tue 19-Jun-18 13:49:37

You've got over 15 years on me and just described me wink

By 47 il likely be knitting and down the bingo

HesterShaw1 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:50:11

Hate to say it, but unless you live to 94 years old, you are already past middle age.

Hang on, does that mean we are middle aged for the one exact moment we have reached the unknown point which is exactly halfway between our birth and death, and the second we go over that, we are old? I'm 43 - say I die at 82? confused There's no way I am currently past middle aged!

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