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AIBU to think DH joking about deafness is not OK?

(31 Posts)
Pedestriancrossing Tue 19-Jun-18 12:43:35

My DH seems to think its fine to make jokes about deafness in a way he would never do with other disabilities. It is a regular thing for him to answer, for example, me asking “did you hear [whatever]” with “pardon?” as a “hilarious” witty response. I have said that a. I don't think it's funny and b. that it makes me very uncomfortable.

Now I know we all have different senses of humour, but he would never dream of making fun out of blindness or someone being in a wheel chair. So why is deafness fair game for jokes? To me it trivialises a disability that can have a big impact on a person’s day to day life.

Am I being overly sensitive and grumpy, or is HBU?

Pengggwn Tue 19-Jun-18 12:45:43

I think you are hugely overreacting.

sunshinesupermum Tue 19-Jun-18 12:45:48


TheStoic Tue 19-Jun-18 12:46:56

I would not be offended by this, nor would I find it funny.

MsVestibule Tue 19-Jun-18 12:48:28

I wouldn't find it offensive but I would find it bloody irritating and unfunny.

Buzzlightyearsbumchin Tue 19-Jun-18 12:49:04

It isn't offensive, neither is it funny.

MadisonAvenue Tue 19-Jun-18 12:49:22

It's like Alzheimer's, you hear people joke about that yet no one jokes about cancer and Alzheimer's is just as devastating .

Mrsharrison Tue 19-Jun-18 12:50:12

He's making fun of the hard of hearing, not the profoundly deaf.
It's like saying the Specsavers ad is making fun of the blind.
I think you need to chill out.

Phillipa12 Tue 19-Jun-18 12:50:49

Its annoying and in my case not that funny. Exdh used to do this all the time, our elest dc wears hearing aids......exdh was always a twat!

Jammydodger81 Tue 19-Jun-18 12:51:30

YABU pardon is something everyone says when they miss something that is said and needs to have it repeated. That isn’t exclusive to deafness I have tinnitus and it affects my ability to hear what people have said or sometimes I’ve been distracted and not listened properly. You’re really overreacting.

Littletinyraindrops Tue 19-Jun-18 12:51:40

I'm partially deaf in one ear and I can't say I find it insulting, it's not funny though, he needs to update his comedic repertoire.

Uyulala Tue 19-Jun-18 12:56:45

yet no one jokes about cancer

I assure you they do. I remember a particular one from school days about Jade Goody.

Buddyelf Tue 19-Jun-18 12:58:59

I honestly don't think I could get so worked up over a 'pardon' joke. I think you're overreacting.

MissionItsPossible Tue 19-Jun-18 12:59:06

With the others: Not offensive. Not funny.

Notamorningperson84 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:03:48

I'm partially deaf in both ears and wear hearing aids. I've had these 'jokes' all my life. I hate it.

It's literally the same 2 or 3 jokes over and over (usually from men btw). I don't find it funny, I find it hurtful.

Because of my hearing (or lack of) I miss out on so much. Even just missing bits of the conversations in the office makes me feel like an outsider. It's isolating. Then there's the people who talk to you like you're stupid when you ask them to repeat themselves.

Deafness is awful and making fun of it makes you a twat.

ilovesooty Tue 19-Jun-18 13:06:42

I think it's underestimated how isolating and distressing hearing impairment is. No, it's not funny.

rosesandflowers1 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:09:10

I think people with personal experience would find it much more upsetting than others. Hearing impairment does a lot of damage.

Regardless, I'd find it hugely irritating.

Scribblegirl Tue 19-Jun-18 13:16:42

My dad makes jokes about deafness to my mum, who actually is deaf in one ear. She doesn’t get offended (I think it’s resignation!) but that’s her choice. I think it’s rude. YANBU OP.

FrancisCrawford Tue 19-Jun-18 13:26:53

He's making fun of the hard of hearing, not the profoundly deaf

That’s simply not true. Many people have to wear hearing aids because they cannot hear without them.

Having a hearing impairment counts as a disability bcos hearing is not “corrected” by a hearing aid in the same way as short sightedness is corrected by wearing glasses.

OP - your partner just has a crap sense of humour. Just ignore him

As for the twerps who do this when I tell them I am deaf, I just give them a withering stare.

Cath2907 Tue 19-Jun-18 13:27:17

My husband and daughter are both moderately deaf in both ears. They wear hearing aids. I am slightly deaf (due to childhood ear damage). To be honest the example of a joke you give here is something we'd do in our house. If it was ALL the time it would get frustrating but as long as he isn't doing that joke to a person he doesn't know surely it is fine.

BottleOfJameson Tue 19-Jun-18 13:28:59

I think I'd find it irritating more than anything else. Why does he keep doing it? It's clearly not going to be funny for the 1000th time?

PinguPaws Tue 19-Jun-18 13:29:11

When my dad was a kid he lost his hearing in one ear, after a snowball/rock hit him.

When I was a teen, asking for money, cash or a lift to my friends. He would say "sorry, I'm deaf in one ear, and can't hear in the other"

A lame DAD style joke and nothing to get upset over smile

Ohyesiam Tue 19-Jun-18 13:30:34

He is making bad dad jokes. The less funny they are the better, or so they think.
While that makes him a bit of an annoying twat, I think you are over reacting.

Pedestriancrossing Tue 19-Jun-18 13:33:15

Well that's a good range of opinions!

I myself have a disability (not deafness) and I know if someone "joked" about it I would be really hurt.

I know it's not a huge deal in the scheme of things, but , to me, it's a sign that deafness is not taken seriously.

I am working on my withering stare to deter DH next time he uses this hilarious bit of repartee. smile

MsSquiz Tue 19-Jun-18 13:33:43

You would be hideously offended if you were around my family as we have often teased my partially deaf (from birth) auntie by saying "what?" Or "I didn't hear you" when she says something

It's how we've always been and we've yet to offend her! (She's 62 this year!)

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