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AIBU to not want this SN child in the same class as mine

(302 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

PinkyU Mon 18-Jun-18 19:24:53

DD is 5 and moving into P2 which will be a composite 3/2 class. I’ve recently found out that a boy with severe challenging and frequently violent behaviour will be in the same class as a P3.

DD also has SN, cognitive, social emotional and physical needs. She is very vulnerable and significantly smaller than this other child. Small knocks and bumps can cause DD significant injuries such as dislocated hip etc. Their will only be 1 teacher and 1 TA in the class which in non negotiable due to staffing.

I’m concerned that not only will this boy take up a lot of teaching time (away from my DD), he is also a substantial physical risk to DD.

AIBU to discuss/request a change of class for this other child as DD cannot be moved to a different class due to her needs?

Sleepyslops Mon 18-Jun-18 19:26:20

Yes you are BU. I'm sure the school will have assessed their needs and placed them appropriately.

crunchtime Mon 18-Jun-18 19:27:34

How would you feel if another parent requested that their child was put in a separate class to your child because she needs too much input?

NewYearNewMe18 Mon 18-Jun-18 19:28:42

The school will not discuss another child with you.

Be prepared for the school to suggest you move your child (I have seen that suggested).

MyNewAlias Mon 18-Jun-18 19:29:19

So both children are SN, but your child's needs trumps the others child's? Perhaps the other child cannot be moved to another class because of HIS needs. Move info needed or I would say YABU, sorry.

OrchidInTheSun Mon 18-Jun-18 19:29:45

Why do your DD's needs trump this other child's?

edwinbear Mon 18-Jun-18 19:30:32

I really don’t think you are in a position to be able to demand someone else’s child is moved. If you want them separated, you could ask to have your DD moved but I’m sure the school know exactly what they are doing and have considered everyone’s needs.

BitchQueen90 Mon 18-Jun-18 19:30:45

Yes you are BU. It's not all about your child.

TeenTimesTwo Mon 18-Jun-18 19:30:47

I think you can go in and say 'what will be done particularly to keep my DC safe, since if she gets hurt it will have a disproportionate effect on her'.
And see what they say.

Ultimately the other child also has a right to an education, budgets are tight so if he doesn't qualify for 1-1 they can't fund one. You obviously have the right to change schools if the school can't satisfy you.

notsohippychick Mon 18-Jun-18 19:30:49

No. You are not being unreasonable. My son who has ASD was placed with two other children of the same condition, in the same class.

My son has never ever kicked off in the classroom. However he needs substantial support. He hasn’t been getting it due to the time and energy being given to the other two children.

Whilst I appreciate the pressures in SEN budget, placing two many children in one class with SEN and not the appropriate support staff is just crazy.

My sons is paying the price.

Do what you need to do, it’s your son. I wish I shouted louder sooner.

PurpleDaisies Mon 18-Jun-18 19:30:53

How would you feel if someone made the same request about your child?

Figgygal Mon 18-Jun-18 19:31:06

Yup you're totally out of order sorry

flumposie Mon 18-Jun-18 19:31:10

I understand your concerns for your daughter, but you can not request that another child is moved class. Imagine how you would feel if another parent suggested the same about your daughter.

Lycanthropology Mon 18-Jun-18 19:31:17

What the actual?
You really, seriously, cannot request that someone else's child be moved classes!

Regingaphalange Mon 18-Jun-18 19:31:40


As a mother of children with profound disabilities I'm appalled another SN parent would actually feel like this!

PinkyU Mon 18-Jun-18 19:32:05

The reason they’re in the same class is due to staffing, DD’s TA is very unhappy about it and told the HT that she felt DD would be at risk, but there’s not enough TA’s for the children to be supported in 2 separate classes.

I’d be upset of course, but the education side is less of a concern tbh, it’s more the physical risk.

Rollawolla Mon 18-Jun-18 19:32:17

I get you want what's best for your own daughter but she isn't the only one who has needs and certainly not fair on the other boy. If you want dedicated 1-2-1 have her privately schooled. You are being so unreasonable.

Also what about the rest of the parents who have children in your ds class if they don't have SN their parents could say the same about your DD taking up valuable teaching time away from theirs...just a thought

notsohippychick Mon 18-Jun-18 19:33:21

Sorry I read the last bit wrong. I don’t think you can request the other child be moved in hindsight.

But they need to give you some kind of reassurance.

Pettyspaghetti Mon 18-Jun-18 19:34:17

I can see where you’re coming from, I don’t think I’d feel great about knowing my child could possibly get seriously injured at school. However they won’t move the other child if you ask.

Ummmmgogo Mon 18-Jun-18 19:34:22

I have a lot of sympathy for you. all children should be able to go to school without fear of assault. I don't think the school will agree move him, you might have to home educate if your dd really can't be in the same school as him. x

PinkyU Mon 18-Jun-18 19:34:53

Due to mobility and access issues DD can only be in the smaller classrooms which therefore limits the classes that can be in those rooms, this class year group is the only class small enough to access that room.

Allthewaves Mon 18-Jun-18 19:35:06

Does your daughter has echp? Does this hold have an echp?

If your daughter has one and states 1:1 support for x hours then you have every right to complain that her 1:1 is being used for another child

annandale Mon 18-Jun-18 19:35:07

OK I will say that if the school cannot manage this child's behaviour to the point that they can keep your child safe, you need to speak up now as well as considering moving your daughter.

I believe if children are being violently struck in the classroom by another child, then at least one of them is in the wrong place or in a place which is failing them.

If more parents spoke up clearly about this, perhaps there would be more specialist staff, schools and support.

RippleEffects Mon 18-Jun-18 19:35:10

You are not being unreasonable to want your DD to be safe within school. You are not being unreasonable to want your DD to get her fair share of teacher attention and time. You are not being unreasonable to want to ensure your own DC's special needs are met.

You are however, and you bloomin know it, unreasonable to frame this about another child.

All of your issues cn be addressed just make sure you focus or your child's needs not what you perceive another child's problems to be.

Wolfiefan Mon 18-Jun-18 19:36:36

You can have a conversation about how they will safeguard her.
You can't demand he be in another class.

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