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Dug myself a massive hole re DS and sports day, tell me what to do!

(261 Posts)
marioncole Mon 18-Jun-18 15:14:14

DS is in year 6. In every sports day for the last 6 years he has come last at everything and his self-esteem is always rock bottom afterwards. It breaks my heart. All of the competitions are variations on running races. I've campaigned for the school to try and bring more variety in because if you're slow at running then you're always going to come last, but nothing has changed.

So I've been dreading this one because I know DS is dreading it. Then last week I decided (without really thinking it through) that I would fabricate an appointment at the same time as sports day which has been in the diary for ages. I asked DS whether he would like me to cancel the appointment so that he could go to sports day, he was over the moon that he wouldn't have to do it.

So my plan (in retrospect not a good one) was to pick DS up from school for his appointment, then tell him it didn't exist.

I saw his teacher this morning and she asked me whether DS really had an appointment because he'd told her he wouldn't be able to do sports day. I told he that yes, the appointment had been in the diary for ages.

The thing I hadn't really properly thought through was that DS is going to have to lie when he gets back to school about said non-existent appointment. That's not fair on him. The teacher is clearly already sceptical, so she may very well ask him about it.

So what do I do?

1. Now claim the appointment has been cancelled?
2. Tell DS the truth and ask him what he wants to do?
3. Keep with the original plan?

I was only doing it to protect his feelings but I've got a horrible feeling I've made it all worse.

Don't shout at me!

Spaghettijumper Mon 18-Jun-18 15:16:33

Pick your DS up and take him for ice cream and say to him that if the teacher asks him what the appointment was to tell her it's personal and keep saying it's personal over and over.

Teacher probably won't ask. Your DS will be made up. Win.

Phosphorus Mon 18-Jun-18 15:16:46

If you want, just book him in at the opticians.

I'd have just given him the day off though, without bothering to invent appointments.

CherieBabySpliffUp Mon 18-Jun-18 15:17:15

Wouldn't you have had to produce the appointment letter anyway? hmm

villainousbroodmare Mon 18-Jun-18 15:17:28

I think I'd see if the dentist can fit him in for a check up and follow it with a lovely day for the two of you.

tripYouOut Mon 18-Jun-18 15:17:51

Explain to him that sometimes people lie to get out of things that they don't want to do and that this is ok.

BarryTheKestrel Mon 18-Jun-18 15:18:07

Is he due an eye test or similar that you can book in for that day?
If not then you need to fess up. It's up to you if he does sports day or not. I would have given anything for a fake appointment on sports day as a kid and often 'twisted my ankle/sprained my wrist' the day before to get out of it.

Adviceplease360 Mon 18-Jun-18 15:18:24

Opticians appointment or dentist check up. Health visitor for a made up concern.

MrsPMT Mon 18-Jun-18 15:19:02

Can you get him a sight test or something? At an opticians (not Boots but a random private one?) Then he won't be lying, just an idea!

Totally understand btw, my DS really bad at PE too, and hates sports day.

Ipdipme Mon 18-Jun-18 15:19:34

Book in a quick dentist, optician or hair appointment and then rest of the times your own. Simple.

MrsPMT Mon 18-Jun-18 15:19:45

Haha x-posted with lots of others with the same idea!

MrsJayy Mon 18-Jun-18 15:19:59

Take him out for the above mentioned ice cream tell your son that you hate sports day too and Surprise you are going to bunk off for a few hours he won't say anything.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 18-Jun-18 15:20:39

Eye test. Ice cream. Done.

BluthsFrozenBananas Mon 18-Jun-18 15:21:02

Didn't he ask you what the appointment was for already? If told my DD I'd booked her an appointment the first think she'd do is ask what it was for.

Kingsclerelass Mon 18-Jun-18 15:21:08

Phone the dentist and ask for a hygienist appt. Or call your local private school and ask for a guided tour. Or ring Specsavers and ask for an eye test.

Time to get CREATIVE so your ds doesn’t have to lie. And I sympathise - sports day can be hell for small boys who don’t like sport.
And then get him involved in something like cycling or karate so he’s more able to cope next year.

ThePeasantsAreAtTheGates Mon 18-Jun-18 15:21:19

Book him an eye test (or an audiology test -Specsavers do these), and don't beat yourself up over this. I think sometimes I'm not normal because I would do what you have done and not bat an eyelid.

PotteryGirl Mon 18-Jun-18 15:21:31

Make an appointment to get DSs eyes tested...go and get it done, have a nice lunch out, enjoy your time together. He’s Y6 he’ll be gone from the school in a matter of weeks and it’s really important to maintain good eye health. It’s not the end of the world...😍. If the school ask why you couldn’t get it done out of school hours just say that time suited you and it was school sports day so no academic time was missed..

marioncole Mon 18-Jun-18 15:22:07

School won't want to see an appointment card fortunately. I've already told him/them what the appointment is and it's not something I can book at short notice unfortunately. It's just such a bad precedent making him lie! He'll just have to say "yes the appointment was fine, I'll have to go back in 6 months" but still...

PotteryGirl Mon 18-Jun-18 15:22:32

OMG great minds think alike...someone else said eye test...👍🏻

MyOtherUsernameisaPun Mon 18-Jun-18 15:22:36

Book something generic like an eye test / dentist / shoe sizing, pop along to that, then go for ice cream.

Alternatively, pick up your DS for the appointment and tell him they've just that minute called to cancel so you just thought you and he could pop into town for a slice of cake or whatever since you had already told his teachers he wouldn't be there.

BigBairyHollocks Mon 18-Jun-18 15:22:47

I agree with everyone else,opticians and out for treat,don’t pass another thought on the teacher.Bloody obsession with sport and making people feel crap about themselves angry

TERFragetteCity Mon 18-Jun-18 15:22:56

Just pretend you got a phone call, that they have had to cancel and let him overhear the fictional conversation.

Then ask him what he wants to do. Then let him have a duvet day.

I hated sports day to my very core.

PinkHeart5914 Mon 18-Jun-18 15:23:14

It’s wrong to ask him to lie. Also what does it teach lying is wrong but not if an adult tells you too? Hmmm is that what you want to teach?

Ok so his not good at sport well sometimes we have to do things we aren’t great at but we still give it a go and do our best.

Tell him you made a mistake and got the appointment wrong? Go and support him at sports day?

marioncole Mon 18-Jun-18 15:23:20

Thank you for all being so nice smile

Wellfuckmeinbothears Mon 18-Jun-18 15:23:29

As others have said can you get an appointment at th optitions or dentist? I don’t blame you though, sounds like you’ve done as much as you can to get the school to include other style races so your ds might actually enjoy sports day.

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