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AIBU?

To ask if you think this is weirdly controlling

63 replies

Bonjourmonami73 · 18/06/2018 11:12

Closest friend has new partner. Haven’t seen a lot of her since she met him and she moved to a new town.
Her partner created a whatsapp group at the weekend to arrange a meet up for me & my friend with him in the group.
I kind of feel like if I want to arrange a meet up with my oldest friend, we can arrange it ourself and he doesn’t need to be involved.
Aibu? It made me feel really weird- like he wants to be involved in everything

OP posts:

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UpstartCrow · 18/06/2018 11:13

Wow. Yes, I'd be concerned.

TheMaddHugger · 18/06/2018 11:13

Maybe he wants to meet her friends ?

ajandjjmum · 18/06/2018 11:13

Yep - I would continue as normal, but keep aware of your concerns.

AnalUnicorn · 18/06/2018 11:13

That’s not normal. It would be worried.

Cupofteaforme1 · 18/06/2018 11:13

Trust your instincts

AnalUnicorn · 18/06/2018 11:13

That’s not normal. I would be worried for her.

TERFragetteCity · 18/06/2018 11:14

I'd probably decline to be in the group and just contact her yourself.

Karigan198 · 18/06/2018 11:17

I don’t think it’s weird. It’s the easiest way to arrange s mutual meet up with more than 2 people. Obviously she wants a group thing

Hissy · 18/06/2018 11:17

Woah... that is off the charts bonkers!

text her normally, ignore the whatsapp and have a serious word with her about what he's doing.

Canwejustrelaxnow · 18/06/2018 11:17

Weird. I would comment on it in a jokey way. I couldn't ignore it.

TERFragetteCity · 18/06/2018 11:18

It’s the easiest way to arrange s mutual meet up with more than 2 people. Obviously she wants a group thing

No, the OP isn't meeting him, just her friend. They have been quite capable of meeting up since they first met, why do they now need a man to organise it?

Bonjourmonami73 · 18/06/2018 11:18

I have met him a couple times already and tbh, am not keen. It’s really weirded me out! I barely know him and really don’t need to be in a whatsapp group with him.

OP posts:

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 18/06/2018 11:18

Is the meet up just for you and your friend or will he Be there too?

JessicaJonesJacket · 18/06/2018 11:18

If it's only the WA group then I wouldn't automatically jump to him being controlling.
But I would set up a different WA group for you and her. Start it with some news/nonsense about you and say you didn't want to discuss your news with her new DP. Then, at least, you have a group without him.

Karigan198 · 18/06/2018 11:18

Sorry I read it wrong. Her partner created it? That is odd

Bonjourmonami73 · 18/06/2018 11:19

We’ve been friends for 20 years by the way and have managed quite well up to now

OP posts:

AbsolutelyBeginning · 18/06/2018 11:19

Red flag. Definitely.

Proceed with caution.

Be there for your friend.

postcardsfrom · 18/06/2018 11:19

Is he coming too? If not then I'd wonder about that. Maybe they have really complicated schedules or she needs a lift or something ( giving the benefit of the doubt here!) but regardless I would ignore it and give her a call send her a text to sort out.

AbsolutelyBeginning · 18/06/2018 11:20

You don't get a good vibe of her partner. What things did you not like about him? What is the overall picture you have of their dynamic?

Bonjourmonami73 · 18/06/2018 11:20

He always wants to be there when we meet up - but I have managed to see her a couple times on her own.

I don’t know- it’s made me feel strange

OP posts:

AbsolutelyBeginning · 18/06/2018 11:20

*off ffs

Karigan198 · 18/06/2018 11:20

This is a perfect example of how some people can be unnecessarily bitchy. In even the time it takes me to post I read it wrong someone just had to put in a sarcastic comment about why do they have to have a man arrange it for them.

‘No, the OP isn't meeting him, just her friend. They have been quite capable of meeting up since they first met, why do they now need a man to organise it?’

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BlueEyedBengal · 18/06/2018 11:21

Sounds unusual to me and I would be concerned about is she being controlled. Keep communication open as she may need your friendship to be there in the future.

WishIHadntLooked77 · 18/06/2018 11:22

I suppose the only explanation which wouldn't be odd would be if the friend doesn't know how to use WhatsApp, and asked her partner to set it up. OP's vibes suggest this probably isn't the case though.

EduCated · 18/06/2018 11:24

I suppose the only explanation which wouldn't be odd would be if the friend doesn't know how to use WhatsApp, and asked her partner to set it up. OP's vibes suggest this probably isn't the case though.

Exactly what I was thinking

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