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AIBU?

Invited to a party and asked to pay £15 per head to attend. Aibu that i think that’s cheeky?

121 replies

Soapysoapsoap · 18/06/2018 09:44

We’ve been invited to a friend’s house party over the August bank holiday weekend. But we’ve all been asked to pay £15 per head towards food and more ££ if we want to drink.

If she hadn’t asked, I would have turned up with a bottle of something and some food (i’d ask what I could bring first). But never been told to pay before I can attend a house party before...

Or is that normal and I’m just being weird? It’s a good friend, but money is tight for us at the moment! She has hosted a few times. Maybe she’s sick of being out of pocket? But why invite us to a party at hers, if that’s the case, and why not suggest a bar?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 18/06/2018 09:46

Have you asked? If she's sick of hosting then why host? Confused

Luxembourgmama · 18/06/2018 09:46

Thats super cheeky. I wouldn't go. Either she wants to host or doesn't.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 18/06/2018 09:46

What is she serving that will get you £15 worth??!
Cfuckery at its best!!

SamHeughansLeftEyebrow · 18/06/2018 09:50

I personally would not have asked for cold hard cash like that but.... How much would you spend on food over a long weekend anyway? And how many people are being hosted? Maybe they extended the invitation and then realised how much it would cost to feed/water people for a weekend. (assuming by house party that you mean you are all staying over).

steff13 · 18/06/2018 09:50

When we host something like this, we provide meat, condiments, bread (buns, etc.), soda, and bottled water. We ask guests to bring sides, desserts, and alcoholic drinks.

When our friends house, they do something similar. Actually, I'd jump at the chance to pay $15 a head and not have to bring anything, because I end up spending way more than that on ingredients for desserts, chips, etc.

MatildaTheCat · 18/06/2018 09:51

The only way this could be acceptable would be if they were hosting on behalf of a group so, for example a wedding anniversary of another relative or hosting the Annual Batwatching Society Ball.

If they just fancy a party but are short of cash they should have asked for contributions of food and drink. Or suggested a meet up at the pub.

Sparklesocks · 18/06/2018 09:54

Massively cheeky! It's standard to request people bring a bottle but charging people to eat is bad form.

Don't host if you can't afford.

Soapysoapsoap · 18/06/2018 09:54

It’s not overnight, we live nearby, but all day Sunday and into the evening. For both DH and I to attend, it’d be £30 + £money for booze or a couple of bottles (though she didn’t say byo was an option!). It feels so expensive!

OP posts:
Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 18/06/2018 09:56

Just say you are a bit strapped so will bring food for you +dh.
And do that. If she is arsey spend the £30 on a posh picnic and go out the 2 of you!!

snarted · 18/06/2018 09:57

That's so strange. Is she getting caterers in or something?

tripYouOut · 18/06/2018 09:57

Sounds like she's running a business.

watchingwithinterest · 18/06/2018 10:05

I wouldn't go, you either host a party and pay for your guests or you don't have one!

It sounds like a horrible option to 'pay' to attend....

Butterflykissess · 18/06/2018 10:07

reminds me of when i was invited to spend christmas at soneones house. they wanted £50 to attend. i politely declined.

fruitbrewhaha · 18/06/2018 10:08

At first I thought you were staying the weekend, but for a day's worth of food, £30 for the two for you is rather a lot. I'd be expecting some very nice steak etc for that.

Just ask her, how have you come up with that figure? how about we all bring a dish and something for the BBQ.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/06/2018 10:10

Very cheeky, if you offer to host, you have to provide food, at least some soft drinks. If she did not want to host, then she shod not offer, or suggest meeting at a restaurant and everybody paying their way.

SaucyJack · 18/06/2018 10:10

Yes, it's cheeky but does anyone else ever put the effort into hosting?

Maybe she feels you've all been taking the pee out of her for years?

Going to a pub for dinner wouldn't be any cheaper either if you all paid for yourselves.

HerBigChance · 18/06/2018 10:10

Are they allowed to do that, under licensing laws?

MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 18/06/2018 10:12

Super rude! It's one thing to accept an offer from a guest to bring some food, but another entirely to charge people! No one is forcing her to host!

Jozxyqk · 18/06/2018 10:14

That would be a no from me... either host a party, or don't. They sound like right chancers.

BottleOfJameson · 18/06/2018 10:17

It is cheeky. Asking people to bring food is much better as people can bring what they can afford.

onalongsabbatical · 18/06/2018 10:19

They might need one of these. I wouldn't go, personally. www.gov.uk/temporary-events-notice

PinkHeart5914 · 18/06/2018 10:21

Some people have no idea how to host!

I think it’s ok to say bring a bottle or even bring a side dish but £15 to attend just no, I’d be busy that weekend...

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LoniceraJaponica · 18/06/2018 10:22

"When we host something like this, we provide meat, condiments, bread (buns, etc.), soda, and bottled water. We ask guests to bring sides, desserts, and alcoholic drinks."

This is the norm in our circle as well. Asking for money is wrong on so many levels. Are they laying on entertainment as well?

Does she know that she will need to buy a temporary licence to seel alcohol? I don't mind contributing towards food, but I would be inclined to take my own booze because I wouldn't thank anyone for serving me some £3 plonk from Aldi, especially if I had to pay for it.

FizzyGreenWater · 18/06/2018 10:23

The idea of asking folk to pitch in for costs is fine if she's hosted repeatedly.

However, £15 EACH for just food?

WTF!?!

I'd be saying something along the lines of - 'Sorry X, I don't think we can afford to come. We would have brought a food and drink contribution anyway of course and totally are in favour of making this more official and well-organise so that the costs are properly split. You're kind enough to host and you shouldn't be providing the bulk of food and drink! However, we can't afford £30 on food to cover one daytime plus alcohol on top. Is it possible for us to put heads together and draw up a list of food contributions people can make? If not absolutely don't worry about it and we totally understand.'

zzzzz · 18/06/2018 10:23

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