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How would you feel if a teacher did this to your child?

(286 Posts)
Beenherebefore Sun 17-Jun-18 21:36:57

Background -
Private school, in year 7. Good kid, all the teachers say so and so do I. Was head girl last year. Doing well, respectful yadda yadda.

So she was in a maths lesson. The teacher was a supply teacher. My daughter raises hand to ask teacher for help as she was stuck on a question.
As she was looking at her book and explaining where she needed help the teacher suddenly took my Daugher's head in her hands and snapped it up and round to the white board, said "read what it says and then speak to me" and then sharply turned her head back to her book and let go.

My daughter came out of school an hour later and told me about it immediately. Not one to make a fuss she told me it had hurt her and that while it didn't still hurt she could feel where it had happened.

I called the school. They said they would treat as safe guarding issue and meet me on Monday.

How would you play this?
I'm not happy and I want this dealt with but not sure how far I should take it.

Would you be as cross and upset as I feel about it?

youarenotkiddingme Sun 17-Jun-18 21:40:07

Yes I'd be cross.

I'd personally ask for an apology to DD from the teacher.

Littletreefrog Sun 17-Jun-18 21:41:18

Yes, the teacher has no right to lay hands on your daughter unless it is because she is an immediate danger to herself or others. And I'm actually normally quite old-fashioned about these things and if a teacher was to touch my child in a way I would do at home i.e arm.around shoulders, a hug if very upset, guiding their hands to do something in woodwork etc I wouldn't care at all but in the way you have described it's absolutely not on and indicates a loss of control by the teacher.

Itsanothernamechange Sun 17-Jun-18 21:43:11

Problem with asking for an apology from the teacher is that you say they were supply. To get the apology the school would need to book and pay for that supply to work again.

steppemum Sun 17-Jun-18 21:43:58

you need to work out what it is you want from school.

eg apology from teacher
reassurance from school that they have had renewed safeguarding training

Notevilstepmother Sun 17-Jun-18 21:44:01

It sounds like the school have already realised how serious it is.

Rocinante1 Sun 17-Jun-18 21:46:11

We had a regular supply teacher when I was in high school who would walk around and smack the desk with a steel ruler if she thought someone wasn’t working up to her standard. She smacked a girl on the hand by accident, but it was very foreseeable and obviously a risk. The head had a meeting with the teacher, student and parent and the teacher got a bollocking in front of my friend and her mum, and didn’t teach at our school after that. But I don’t know if it affected her employment elsewhere. She should absolutely not be allowed back in the school.

Notevilstepmother Sun 17-Jun-18 21:46:50

I’d expect the agency to be informed of the complaint. I think grabbing a child by the head is probably going to be the end of any teacher. I think it’s beyond apologies.

Rocinante1 Sun 17-Jun-18 21:47:15

And teach your daughter that I feel a teacher lays hands on her again, then she is to stand up, walk out and go straight to the head teacher or head of year.

Star1234567890 Sun 17-Jun-18 21:48:19

Have worked as a supply teacher in secondary school and would never touch a pupil in any way unless an emergency! You need to complain to the supply agency too, I'm sure they would get dismissed from the agency and rightly so!!!

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Sun 17-Jun-18 21:49:03

I would expect it to be referred to the LADO (local area designated officer) and properly investigated as a child protection concern.

rosesandflowers1 Sun 17-Jun-18 21:50:15

I'd be furious.

It sounds to me like the school are treating this very seriously so all you really need to do is to state the facts and say you expect measures to be taken to protect your daughter and other children, rather than make a case for consequences to be had. It sounds like the school are handling this well.

DashingRed Sun 17-Jun-18 21:51:35

I would be absolutely furious.

qu1rky Sun 17-Jun-18 21:53:35

I would be surprised if that teacher was seen in the school again.
What was she thinking!!?!!

MotsDHeureGoussesRames Sun 17-Jun-18 21:55:22

Definitely a LADO referral and complaint from school to agency. This is completely unacceptable behaviour from the teacher. They have no right whatsoever to touch your child in any context other than an emergency, for their protection/safety or that of another student. To touch your child as part of a reprimand for ostensibly not reading instructions / explanations from the board is off the scale unacceptable.

Beenherebefore Sun 17-Jun-18 21:57:43

Ok great. Thank you all.
I don't want the teacher teaching my daughter again. Bottom line, she should not be invited back to the school again.
However I wanted to run it past other patents without involving anyone else that I know iykwim.
The school are speaking to the teacher in question tomorrow and have invited me in to discuss.

I wanted to be sure I wasn't over reacting in any way. I know I'm not actually. I don't do drama but this made my heart pump when I heard. I just needed to talk it over with you. Thanks.

Hermagsjesty Sun 17-Jun-18 21:58:12

I would hit the roof. Normally, I am very pro supporting teachers’ discipline strategies but there is no excuse for a teacher to lay a hand on your child other than for the immediate safety/ protection of them or someone else.

Octopeppa Sun 17-Jun-18 22:00:44

I'd be furious too. Surely turning someone's head sharply could cause a serious injury? Aggression and lack of control from the teacher don't have a place in education IMO, let alone physical intrusion.

Mindisboggled Sun 17-Jun-18 22:00:53

That is assault, she assaulted your daughter. I'd expect her to be struck of at least.... Charged at best

Anon12345ABC Sun 17-Jun-18 22:01:25

Definitely not overreacting. Teachers and TAs are taught not to lay their hands on pupils. I'd hit the roof at a teacher doing that to my child and I would definitely complain.

slapmyassandcallmejudy Sun 17-Jun-18 22:02:59

I'd be livid. Absolutely fucking livid.

JurassicBark Sun 17-Jun-18 22:03:14

I don't really understand what happened from your description, however, I think if it was physical and it hurt your DD then at a minimum I would want a safeguarding issue raised with the relevant people and I would want a written reassurance that she would not be invited to teach in the school again.

I would ensure you have the correct version of events though - I am assuming the whole class witnessed this?

Ginger1982 Sun 17-Jun-18 22:06:50

Jurassic how can you not understand? It's pretty clear. I would be furious too OP.

Snowysky20009 Sun 17-Jun-18 22:08:46

So unacceptable!!!! No teacher I know would ever do something like this (that's friends and professionally). What were they thinking???

JurassicBark Sun 17-Jun-18 22:10:00

I misread head for hand. It didn't make sense.

I would also be getting your daughter checked over as well. That's vile and could have caused a serious injury.

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