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AIBU to avoid church because of DH’s flatulence 🤢

(172 Posts)
itseasybeingcheesy Sun 17-Jun-18 10:16:53

DH has a rotten stomach at the mo from overeating at the pub yesterday and the house smells awful as a result. He think I’m being OTT by saying we shouldn’t go to church and inflict that on others.

I know this is disgusting but please back me up? I’m not BU am I?

steff13 Sun 17-Jun-18 10:19:04

You should go and make him stay home. Do the services have candles? If so, he might create a fire hazard if he goes. The whole place could blow.

TwoGinScentedTears Sun 17-Jun-18 10:19:47

Would he fart in church?

182yellowsnails Sun 17-Jun-18 10:19:59


DrDoMore Sun 17-Jun-18 10:20:06

Would he actually fart in public?! My DH can stink out the house on a bad day but he wouldn’t go and fart in public!

Itchytights Sun 17-Jun-18 10:20:38


Candlelight123 Sun 17-Jun-18 10:20:49

Why would he fart in church?? Will he not hold it in like everyone else does?

DelphiniumBlue Sun 17-Jun-18 10:22:14

Lock him in the lavatory until he's ' been'.
He shouldn't be inflicting this on you, that's quite revolting.
Go out without him if he can't control himself.

AlonsoTigerHeart Sun 17-Jun-18 10:23:16

Am angel loses it wings everytime you fart in churchsad

itseasybeingcheesy Sun 17-Jun-18 10:24:22

I often tell him to hold it in and he says it gives him a bad stomach hmm he’s a right pillock when it comes to this!
The upstairs smells like something died as I gave him a lie in for Father’s Day and he farted all morning 🤢

And he doesn’t want us to leave him behind on Father’s Day.

No candles in church thank goodness!

BrutusMcDogface Sun 17-Jun-18 10:25:53

Surely he won't stand there in church farting away. Surely not?!

BartholinsSister Sun 17-Jun-18 10:25:55

The people at church will forgive him though, right?

BrutusMcDogface Sun 17-Jun-18 10:26:32

Ps open all your windows if the house smells so bad.

JennieLee Sun 17-Jun-18 10:27:05

I think a devout Christian would argue that attending the service might help your husband with his problem.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'

BrutusMcDogface Sun 17-Jun-18 10:27:49

Lol @ "lock him in the lavatory until he's 'been'"! So prim and proper! I couldn't lock my dp anywhere even if I tried. grin

Candlelight123 Sun 17-Jun-18 10:27:56

Urgh, glad I don't live with your DH then OP!
It's disgusting he should go into the loo every time he farts if it's that bad.

itseasybeingcheesy Sun 17-Jun-18 10:28:14

They’ll forgive him but they’ll still feel sick from the smell! Resolved to stay in this morning and catch an evening service if he can stick a cork in it.

Happy Father’s Day all! 🤮

Candlelight123 Sun 17-Jun-18 10:28:55

My judgy pants are hoiked up high on this one!

itseasybeingcheesy Sun 17-Jun-18 10:29:09


If he “rests” the problem will get worse surely 😂

CourtneyLovely Sun 17-Jun-18 10:35:58

Who are all you people who can hold a fart in for hours? What is your secret?

MichonnesBBF Sun 17-Jun-18 10:36:54

Don't push it to much or he could end up 'Snapping and Farting' and it will be aimed right at you smile

Juells Sun 17-Jun-18 10:37:30

My DF used to go outside the house when he wanted to fart. He was ever so polite.


Do the services have candles? If so, he might create a fire hazard if he goes. The whole place could blow.


Gardai Sun 17-Jun-18 10:39:42

Surely you can’t fart all night then all day ? I thought it had to stop at some point after a dodgy meal. He needs meds or an evacuation.

yawning801 Sun 17-Jun-18 10:40:52

Michonne I was about to say exactly the same thing!

itseasybeingcheesy Sun 17-Jun-18 10:41:11

I could do with some incense here to be honest, not that Church has any though...

We live in a three storey house so to go outside for a fart is quite an effort

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