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How the fuck am I STILL not pregnant????

(318 Posts)
Goinginsane000 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:26:56

Sorry, I appreciate that this isn’t an AIBU but I am at breaking point and hoping there’s more traffic here.

I have been TTC for 3 years. I was referred for NHS fertility treatment 2 years ago. Tests showed I have PCOS, as suspected. Put on Clomid, had a chemical preg after 3 months. Ovulated probably 10 times out of 12 cycles if I remember correctly. No further BFP for another year. 13 months ago I had a laparoscopy with ovarian drilling. Worked wonders, had a natural period for the first time ever (without needing drugs to bring one on). Continued on Clomid and ovulated every single month without fail. Got pg 6 months later but miscarried at 7 weeks. Was then put on Letrozole. I have ovulated on every one of the 6 cycles I’ve been on this but no fucking BFP. Due to the miscarriage, I had to wait another year for my IVF referral because you need to have not had a pregnancy in the past 12 months.

There must be something else at play, surely???? How can this be happening? Does anyone have any insight or personal experience of a similar history??

For what it’s worth, I am 30. Size 10, have eaten a mainly carb and sugar free diet for 3 years. I don’t smoke or drink much (because I am constantly “possibly pregnant”). I exercise regularly and can run 6 miles in just under 40 mins with zero effort. I take very good care of myself.

Seriously, WTAF!

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GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sat 16-Jun-18 14:29:13

Sounds flippant but are you having enough sex?

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Sat 16-Jun-18 14:31:25

The reason I ask is because you didn’t mention a partner at all... just you! I assume you are- what’s his health and fertility like?

BlueBug45 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:32:37

Apart from the above it's just shit luck.

SansaClegane Sat 16-Jun-18 14:32:47

It sounds like you're doing everything you can, for you. My first thought was male factor infertility- has your DP ever been checked out? No use getting your body all primed and ready when there is a problem with the sperm.

Goinginsane000 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:33:10

Thanks Georgie. Yes - husband has been extensively tested and is the perfect person with which to procreate it seems. He’s 2 years older than me and leads a very healthy lifestyle too. We have sex every other day from CD8 to CD22 to be safe. Every specialist I’ve ever seen has said that every other day is best for optimum results.

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Tink2007 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:33:58

This isn’t me being flippant at all but a friend of mine described the exact same things as you. Had been TTC for 6 years with nothing happening. She was on Clomid as well.

We were talking and I said to her that she needed to relax; try and get out of that mindset of thinking about pregnancy and about getting pregnant. I told her she needed to have fun with trying and “forget” they were trying. She said I was mad but she did do it. Three months later she was pregnant with her now 6 year old daughter.

Please don’t take it as flippant. It’s not meant that way at all. Sometimes I think when trying to get pregnant it completely overtakes our being and becomes our sole focus. It’s almost a stress.

Good luck smile x

lilpeepsxanax Sat 16-Jun-18 14:34:55

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

leccybill Sat 16-Jun-18 14:36:24

Yeah I've been 'just relaxing' and going on expensive luxury holidays for 6 years. Quit my stressful job.
Still no baby....

kissthealderman Sat 16-Jun-18 14:36:58

hmm^^

Helpful.

Goinginsane000 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:37:11

Thanks Tink. Despite the tone of my post I don’t believe myself to be overly stressed. Obviously it is heartbreaking but I am not a wreck over this. We still live and I still laugh every day. Many many people lead far more stressful lives than me.

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SEsofty Sat 16-Jun-18 14:37:24

Echo the Ppoint about stress and the stress of ttc sex. I’d book a holiday somewhere hot and sunny and try and forget about trying for a baby, hard as it is

SerenDippitty Sat 16-Jun-18 14:38:21

We were talking and I said to her that she needed to relax; try and get out of that mindset of thinking about pregnancy and about getting pregnant. I told her she needed to have fun with trying and “forget” they were trying. She said I was mad but she did do it. Three months later she was pregnant with her now 6 year old daughter.

Just crossed off one on my “things not to say to people ttc” bingo card.....

PurpleDaisies Sat 16-Jun-18 14:38:29

We were talking and I said to her that she needed to relax; try and get out of that mindset of thinking about pregnancy and about getting pregnant. I told her she needed to have fun with trying and “forget” they were trying. She said I was mad but she did do it. Three months later she was pregnant with her now 6 year old daughter.

Telling someone who is trying to conceive to just relax us the easier way to make them hit you due to intense rage. Do not say this. Just don’t.

Goinginsane000 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:38:29

Leccybill - ain’t that the truth. Where are you in your ‘journey’ (don’t you just hate that term?)

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flumpybear Sat 16-Jun-18 14:40:00

Why are you not eating many carbs or sugar? Oestrogen resides in fat, if you're a bit under weight it's sometimes a good thing to gain a little, your Body's biichemistry is quite sensitive - I'd probably try to do that

Also what PP said about relaxing is so true - I had lots of miscarriages, my two successes happened first at Christmas when me and DH said bollocks let's drink and party this month and try for kids again the new year - BFP in 2nd jan. second I got a new job and we didn't try properly for what was going to be a year as I was settling into a new and very different job - I had my baby boy a year to the day iof starting - basically I'd taken my eye off the ball (as it were hmm) both successful times (and lost s bit of weight as I was a 16)
Good luck

Goinginsane000 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:40:51

Purpledaisies, serendipity, thank you. Honestly, people live through famine, war, bereavement, you name it. Who can honestly say that anyone has zero stress?! There are millions of pregnant women and mothers, do these people never experience stress or have no previous trauma?

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MarshaBradyo Sat 16-Jun-18 14:41:15

That is harsh re the referral

You’re not doing anything wrong - including the relaxing part - it won’t be this

PurpleDaisies Sat 16-Jun-18 14:41:48

Also what PP said about relaxing is so true

NO IT ISN’T. It is a coincidence. You would have got pregnant anyway. Where are all the infertility specialists telling people to stop trying and they’ll get pregnant?

PurpleDaisies Sat 16-Jun-18 14:42:30

Op post on the infertility board instead. People won’t tell you to relax over there.

LRDtheFeministDragon Sat 16-Jun-18 14:44:01

Sorry to hear this. It sounds shite. No advice here, but PCOS, miscarriages, blah blah. It is just depressing.

I'm sure it is useful to think about diet and stress and exercise and so on, but (and I mean this in a positive way), at the end of the day sometimes these things just do not happen, and that is that. You can drive yourself mad agonising about it, but there's every chance it is really nothing to do with you, and simply the shitty luck of the draw.

ALemonyPea Sat 16-Jun-18 14:44:34

Have you made an expensive purchase and booked an expensive holiday? As those are definite guarantees for getting pregnant apparently.

I had clomid, the month I got pregnant, DH had had a bike accident and we had given up that month due to his injuries. Not suggesting you arrange for your DH to have an accident 😉

Best of luck to you op. Being on clomid is a horrible experience, especially the hormone surges.

Crabbitstick Sat 16-Jun-18 14:44:38

My sister wasn't getting pregnant (for a year - no fertility issues) because she was going straight to loo after sex.
Are you sticking legs in air/cushion under bum etc. for a good ten minutes after sex?
Apologies if that's stating the obvious.

hamandpease Sat 16-Jun-18 14:44:47

@lilpeepsxanax

Your tone is rather cold! Did you mean to come across so uncaring?

Goinginsane000 Sat 16-Jun-18 14:46:07

PCOS results in issues with insulin production. Humans don’t need to eat crisps, excessive amounts of potato, bread etc. We certainly don’t need sugar, sweets, cakes, biscuit. I’m not saying I never eat these things, of course I do. But it’s not helpful to someone with PCOS. I eat carbs and sugar in moderation. Take yesterday’s food intake for example:

- breakfast: smoked salmon, avocado, 2 scrambled eggs
- lunch: tomato soup and a banana
- snack: apple slices with a dollop of peanut butter
- evening: roast chicken, salad, coleslaw, sweet potato, roasted pepper
- snack: strawberries and raspberries, dollop of Greek yogurt, almonds

People will no doubt come
Along and say the above is crap, sugar in fruit etc but I know that most people eat a far worse diet than me and get pg left, right and centre.

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