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To ask to drop DC at a party early?

(441 Posts)
TrickyTrickTrick Sat 16-Jun-18 09:07:40

DC (8) has been invited to a party. It is on the same day as a local event we were planning on attending as a family (we already have tickets for it). DC is desperate to go as it is one of their good friends. If relevant tickets purchased last week, invite is only a week's notice from party date.

I know the mum to say 'hi' to, occasional playground chat, the friend has been here for dinner etc but I do not know the mum 'well' as such. She seems nice, but quite shy/quiet.

Party is about 10 mins from the local event, it is a party at the child's house. I would also have to dip out of event early to collect DC and then re-park at event and re-enter. So probably missing about 45mins ish of the event.

WIBU to ask the mum if i could drop DC half an hour early? This would allow us to get to the event close to the time we originally planned to get there (we have other DC who are excited to go to the event), so only disrupting our family day out in the middle when I go to collect, rather than at the start as well.

WIBU to ask her? or does this make me a CF?!

Fattymcfaterson Sat 16-Jun-18 09:09:07

No, please don't do this!

Hoppinggreen Sat 16-Jun-18 09:09:12

You’ve alreday got plans, unfortunate but there you go
I wouldn’t be asking to drop off early, I would just decline the invite

Dhalandchips Sat 16-Jun-18 09:10:11

I'd ask, and if DC could stay later so I didn't have to leave event, re-park etc. Assuming DC doesn't mind missing the event entirely! But then, I AM a bit of a CF!

TrickyTrickTrick Sat 16-Jun-18 09:10:20

DC is so desperate to go to the party, if it wasnt a good friend I wouldn't be considering it as we already have plans.

DragonsAndCakes Sat 16-Jun-18 09:10:46

I’d ask a parent of another child I think, if you can drop them off and then them take them. Ideally then you could take their child home.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sat 16-Jun-18 09:10:54

What?! No! Of course you cant

Ask someone else in the class who is going if they can take him - and look after him for the 30 mins

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 16-Jun-18 09:11:09

I think I’d message saying thanks for the invitation, DC would really like to come but there’s a clash with an event you’re going to, the only way you could make it work is to drop early but you understand if that’s not convenient. Alternatively ask for details of other guests in case one of them might be willing to take yours.

Dhalandchips Sat 16-Jun-18 09:11:16

In my Cf-ery defence, I would be quite happy for someone do this if it was the other way round. DC would enjoy having a friend before and after party.

Peterrabbitscarrots Sat 16-Jun-18 09:11:25

I would ask but perhaps at the same time offer to have her child over for dinner/play date/sleepover the following weekend? I wouldn’t mind having one of my DC’s friends 30 min early for a party - might even get them to help put out the party food etc

MissVanjie Sat 16-Jun-18 09:12:38

Yeah you should try asking the other attendees for wrap around care

CheshireSplat Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:00

Is there anyone else you could ask, to drop DC at their house and they could take him/her? As it's at the child's house, they could be really busy getting ready. On the other hand at 8 year's old, they could be helpful!

SoyDora Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:01

I would be completely happy for someone to ask me this (and would say yes). So on that basis I think it’s fine.

countingdowntobedtimeagain Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:06

Is there no family that can help out with taking DC for you?

If I was hosting a party and someone made this request I wouldn’t mind .. I’d be home preparing anyway so another DC being there would keep my DS from asking when people are arriving every 5 minutes!

Bluntness100 Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:39

No you can't do this. Some folks get a bit stressed when organising a kids party, very few people are keen to have guests turn up early.

Either ask another parent if they can take them or just go at the correct time. I'd maybe say yes to you but I would be really fucked off about it.

CheshireSplat Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:41

Cross post with lots of others!

TheDuckSaysMoo Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:48

I would be happy for a good friend of my dc to ask me this. I'm sure my dc would prefer their friend to come to the party rather than decline.

1099 Sat 16-Jun-18 09:14:59

I did this once, similar situation but I had to work in middle of day, so as PP suggested I replied saying he would be very late as I had to work, they then suggested dropping him early, I suspect it gave their son someone to play with whilst they did all party prep. Worked out well for both of us.

TrickyTrickTrick Sat 16-Jun-18 09:15:00

but if i ask who else is going with no context as to why i'm asking that would read like 'i want to know who else is there before committing' and if i say why it would come across as 'hinting for you to say DC can come early' - in which case i would rather have asked outright.

Orchidflower1 Sat 16-Jun-18 09:15:08

Ask another parent instead. The party mum will be far too busy before/ knackered after.

ScaredPAD Sat 16-Jun-18 09:16:02

I truly wouldnt . If someone asked me if feel quilted into saying yes!

Ask one of the other attendees or someone you know or pay a babysitter to do drop of and pick up.

StepBackNow Sat 16-Jun-18 09:16:11

No. She'll be busy preparing for the party. Very rude.

TrickyTrickTrick Sat 16-Jun-18 09:16:11

my family is working at the event so i have no-one else i can ask to take him.

ScaredPAD Sat 16-Jun-18 09:16:30

Doesnt your child know who else is goin g?

GreatDuckCookery Sat 16-Jun-18 09:17:48

Talk to the mum and explain your predicament. I can't imagine many people saying no to you tbh. It's 30 mins not 3 days.

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