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To be sick of women being told to exercise 'situational awareness'

(460 Posts)
Quantumblue Fri 15-Jun-18 01:36:12

In Melbourne we have just had another sickening rape and murder of a young woman. A 22 year old comedian, walking home at 10.30 pm after finishing a gig. Through an inner city park where thousands of people walk, run, cycle and hang out each week.
The police response has been to tell women to exercise caution and situational awareness.
So upset at this loss ( she was at school with my nephew) and so upset that the solution is for women to be more aware. We are all aware of danger every time we go out our front doors.
RIP Eurydice

BlueBug45 Fri 15-Jun-18 01:44:08

The police don't know what to say so rather than say nothing they tell women to do what we do anyway.

araiwa Fri 15-Jun-18 01:44:44

Seems reasonable advice considering there is a murdering rapist at loose in town

AssassinatedBeauty Fri 15-Jun-18 01:48:29

So, do they say to women don't go out alone at night, don't walk at night, stay at home or go everywhere with a male protector?

He's handed himself in, so he's not at large thankfully.

Amortentia Fri 15-Jun-18 01:50:57

It’s fucking outrages that this mentality prevails. Why are we not doing more to prevent men from doing stuff like this. Women should not have to live like this.

It only occurred to me today that I can’t think of a single women who has done something like this to another man or women. There might be one or two cases out there, but if women can go about without murdering people why can’t men. I’m so sick of it.

Dragonlight Fri 15-Jun-18 01:56:36

She did nothing wrong! Why aren't we teaching men not to rape and murder rather than women 'how to stay safe'? There is no such thing as a woman. DV at home and this on the streets. So what are we supposed to do?

Oh and they've also thrown in that he's autistic, as if autism excuses this.
1. Autism is not a mental illness as it seems to be being portrayed in this
2. Autism is no excuse for such behaviour

justilou1 Fri 15-Jun-18 02:03:57

It's because we aren't doing enough to get men to acknowledge that they all have the capacity to be a rapey fucker in the heat of the moment and if they really want to do it, they will find a way to justify it to themself at that point in time. Luckily for us, most men DON'T rape women. Unfortunately we DO need to teach girls AND boys situational awareness - because both sexes get raped. Most rapists are known to the victims. Statistically, very few rapists are random strangers. As for needing male chaperones, women in group are rarely raped. We need to teach males that their sense of entitlement and need for immediate gratification does not over-ride a woman's right to her own body no matter what state of arousal they happen to be in at any stage of a relationship they are in.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 15-Jun-18 02:28:28

According to the police, this one was a random stranger.

The evil that men do.

RIP Eurydice

Quantumblue Fri 15-Jun-18 02:34:07

But women have situational awareness. We spot the creepy looking guy who gets off at the same tram stop. We notice that the street is dark. We walk along with our door keys in our hands. This young women had texted her friend moments before to say she was nearly safely home.
I don't see what else we can do other than to carry weapons or never go out.
DD is 16. She is coming home from school at 6.30 tonight. It is not late but it is dark. I just found myself lamely saying to her 'be careful'.
Are we teaching our dds that he world is a wonderful place that they have a right to explore and exist in or that is is a dangerous place and they should risk assess every single step they take?

marjorie25 Fri 15-Jun-18 02:58:13

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agnurse Fri 15-Jun-18 02:58:54

I think situational awareness is reasonable. Yes, we should be teaching men not to rape. I agree. But let's say a man goes to the Tenderloin District in San Francisco at 2 a.m. wearing a $5000 suit and carrying his life savings in his pocket. Do we say he bore no responsibility if he gets robbed and that we should just teach people not to rob? Basic situational awareness and practicing safety, such as going out with at least one other woman and making eye contact with every man you see, can be helpful. (Eye contact is recommended so the man knows that you've seen him. This makes it harder for him to sneak up on you. Women are less likely to be attacked in groups because it is hard for one person to manage more than one victim.) So can learning some basic self defense. Would you say that you should allow a small child to go out on their own because people should just know to be careful when driving and be taught not to snatch children?

Slapbetcommissioner Fri 15-Jun-18 03:01:09


Why didn't she take a cab? Because cab drivers have never raped women confused

WandinValley Fri 15-Jun-18 03:01:43

Catch a cab? How about the rapist cabbie out on the streets of Melbourne a couple of years back?

Men have to stop raping and murdering women.

Loore Fri 15-Jun-18 03:02:51

I'm in Newcastle (Aus), we've just had a really awful situation involving a 12 year old girl on the way to school. The police's response - "if I had kids I wouldn't be letting them walk alone" etc. Bet that's made the mum of that poor girl feel less than stellar for letting her child do something that she should be able to do.

Imbluedabadee Fri 15-Jun-18 03:03:10

Nice one marjorie, of course it was her fault for being there she brought it all on herself hmm

Walking home alone is not a crime ffs!

Quantumblue Fri 15-Jun-18 03:08:06

This article gathers some of the responses that resonate with me.

'teach men that they don't have more of a right to a women's body than she does to her life.'

marjorie25 Fri 15-Jun-18 03:08:27

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Quantumblue Fri 15-Jun-18 03:11:20

Is a woman walking around - with her body - like a man with money hanging out of his back pocket? Just tempting danger?

AjasLipstick Fri 15-Jun-18 03:14:39

Slap she didn't have the money for a cab.

So once again, a man and poverty have caused the death of a young woman.

HE did it. And her lack of funds saw her out and alone.

fawkesAgain2 Fri 15-Jun-18 03:16:05

Situational awareness is a sensible thing to exercise. Men don't need to be taught not to rape - rapists do but of course they can't.

I assume we also need to teach murderers not to murder (why has no one said that about this case?), fraudsters not to defraud, women not to abandon new borns etc. It's a stupid arguement.

marjorie25 Fri 15-Jun-18 03:16:38

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marjorie25 Fri 15-Jun-18 03:19:14

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Imbluedabadee Fri 15-Jun-18 03:21:03

Enough with the calling people stupid Marjorie, who the fuck do you think you are?

Pikachuneedshelp Fri 15-Jun-18 03:23:03

In an ideal world it wouldn't be necessary, but we don't live in an ideal world (there is a multitude of evidence for that, not restricted to the behaviour of men towards women). Everyone - male or female - needs to exercise some common sense, and situational awareness is basically common sense. I don't think this is bad advice.

Imbluedabadee Fri 15-Jun-18 03:23:51

Now you're actually calling the victim an idiot?! Can you not just try and have a little bit of respect for the 19 year old who just lost her life because of the man who chose to kill her?!

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