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To tell her to stop being nosy!

(15 Posts)
berriesandcream21 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:28:17

I met a girl at work about 6 years ago, we became really close friends. She arranged my baby shower about 2 years ago.
There was a few things though over our friendship she done which made me question her loyalty. Anyway I haven't seen her in a long time. About a year. We both do the same hobby but I chose to go to a different place to her on purpose as she likes to be centre of attention and every one to love her. Couldn't deal with drama and wanted to make new friends. Now the only time she texts is to ask me questions about my group who is rival to hers. Then tries to say miss you let's see each other. I arrange it but never hear from her.
Today my group releases the teams and I've just had a text from her saying. Miss you hope you're ok. I know she's trying to fish for info!
Should I tell her outright she only wants to know me when she wants info. Really starting to pee me off!

FittonTower Thu 14-Jun-18 15:31:33

From what you've written it doesn't sound like she's fishing - "miss you, hope you're ok" is quite a nice message.
And talking about a shared hobby is pretty normal too. But friends grow apart, if you don't want to spend time with her then don't.

berriesandcream21 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:37:38

Yea it seems nice on the surface but I know it's false. She only texts when she wants to know info. And today with my place releasing teams she will want to know as she's the head of her team.

Angie169 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:39:04

Do your hobbies mean that the two groups will be competing against each other at some point ? ie sporting , pub games , etc . If so then reply to her , along the lines of " I am fine thanks for asking , how are you ? " if she asks about your hobbies or who is in your team etc just be blunt and tell her you are not willing to divulge any information about it .
She may just want a friend to talk to about other stuff though so I would give her a chance

EatTheChocolateTeapot Thu 14-Jun-18 15:40:38

Feed her false info, she probably won’t contact you again.

FittonTower Thu 14-Jun-18 15:42:13

If she asks outright then i think its fine to tell her your not telling a compeating team your tactics or whatever - you can be jokey about it but firm.

But it sounds like you don't have much contact and you don't really like her much so it might be easier to just let the freindship drop.

berriesandcream21 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:42:31

Yes we would be competing against each other.
I think I will reply but like you say if she mentions the hobby not say anything. Another reason I get this impression is in the Times she's text me in the year, not once has she asked how my DS is either. Which has really annoyed me considering she wanted to know when he was first born.

SilverySurfer Thu 14-Jun-18 15:42:35

Text back: Likewise.

berriesandcream21 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:46:05

And what do you know I was right she brought up our hobby and commenting on my team! Knew it ha!

FabulouslyFab Thu 14-Jun-18 15:50:04

Perhaps it’s your hobby that reminds her of you and she’s just trying to make contact again? Could it be that she really is just trying to make conversation?

berriesandcream21 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:55:15

I know how she works. I think I feel slight bitterness towards her as we did another hobby together but she began purposefully leaving me out. From then on id say we weren't really close anymore.

Landed Thu 14-Jun-18 16:00:47

Does she have any children? Friendships often rely on common interests. From the outside, it sounds like she wants to keep in touch and uses such times to maintain some form of contact. Do you ever contact her first before she's said must meet up? Why not ask her the questions first? If you're not bothered then simply ignore.

StormTreader Thu 14-Jun-18 16:01:11

Feed her plausible but incorrect info. Claim that it must have changed since you were told when she tells you she knows its wrong. Tell her revised but also differently incorrect info. See how long you can go before she stops asking grin

ISnappedAndFarted Thu 14-Jun-18 16:13:36

Are you both 12?
If you don't want to be friends with her, just don't message her back.

Witchend Thu 14-Jun-18 16:27:49

I would have thought it's the hobby that reminds her of you.
I have a couple of friends who've moved away and I'll think "oh haven't heard from then for a while", but not really have anything specific to say so often will do no more than either think about sending a message or send a general one.
Then the common interest comes up and I'll send a message about that then because it's brought them to the front of my mind, plus what I have to say is relevant then.

I doubt it's more than that.

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