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Really concerened about daughter

(11 Posts)
Motherwell91 Wed 13-Jun-18 22:48:13

Posting here for traffic really as we are at are wits end.

Daughter is 14 months any time i leave the house she has a meltdown... it can last 3 hours she ends up crying, screaming goes stiff shakes and vomits.
But if i leave her anywhere else but home she is a little teary but calms down quickly.
Ive spoken to the hv and she says 'she just knows that you are a safe person to be with abd feels vunrable when your not there' but this reaction seems too much and im not leaving her with just anyone either partner or our parents.
Im worried this is signs of somthing more mentally wrong. May just be parranoid but our first dd was nothing like this.
Hoping for some advice or own exspeirences to help us how to help her and to hopefully get some peace of mind that someone else has come out the other side of somthing simular.

Sorry for the long thread didnt want to drip feed

Pascall Wed 13-Jun-18 22:55:44

Does she know you're leaving?

Have you tried just slipping out without letting her notice?

Motherwell91 Wed 13-Jun-18 22:59:19

As soon as she notices it starts weve tried telling her and ive tried sneaking out.

Its how strong her reaction it that really worries me its so intense and gets to a point it has the physical effects ive described.

Pascall Wed 13-Jun-18 23:02:42

What about going to buy a special teddy or doll together and asking her to look after it till you come back?

Teachtolive Wed 13-Jun-18 23:05:33

What happens after she vomits? Does it stop then? I've heard before of kids losing their marbles when a parent leaves and it's like it has to reach a peak and once they're over it then they're fine. Almost like a panic attack

Ifonlyfor1day Wed 13-Jun-18 23:10:52

Hello, I do not have a solution but I can sympathise. DS aged 3 done this from 7 months, I worked shifts so DP was there for him but at times there could be a few hours cross over. He would stay with family, he would scream the whole time easily hours solid.

I eventually lost my job and it was a relief when he was 16 months. He is worse than ever now even when I go down stairs he calls me constantly. I suspect some ASD as he has food issues, textures, I am hoping preschool will detach him if not I'll go further.

In hindsight I should have kept leaving him, family did not really want to take him anymore, Was your DD an unsettled baby, he was constantly cried and I think there is a connection as DD1 was no problem to leave.

Coyoacan Thu 14-Jun-18 00:28:18

The only solution a friend found while minding my baby was to swaddle her, but it wasn't for such a long time and then my dd absolutely refused to take a bottle.

Fruitcorner123 Thu 14-Jun-18 00:38:44

Massively sympathise but dint really have my advice.My DD wasn't this extreme but did go through this massive separation anxiety phase. She did just grow out of it.

Motherwell91 Thu 14-Jun-18 06:07:08

Generally she gets so exsausted she passes out. (I work nights) my poor partner is trying his best but i think deep down takes it very personally

Motherwell91 Thu 14-Jun-18 08:59:37

Does anyone think it would be worth seeing the gp ? I dont want to waste his time but want to try every avenue

BottleOfJameson Thu 14-Jun-18 09:41:19

If the problem is reserved to leaving her at home could you all leave together then DP return home with DD?

There's no harm in seeing GP but I imagine they'll probably brush it off like HV, especially if you have no other concerns about DD.

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