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To lie to DH and get all vaccines for baby?

(927 Posts)
Motherduckling Wed 13-Jun-18 15:13:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick Wed 13-Jun-18 15:15:24

Does he say why?

Personally I would just get them, in fact I don't even remember discussing vaccinations. But you will get people who say you're wrong because she's his kid too.

TheGreatestHo Wed 13-Jun-18 15:16:56

Well, i would!

UpstartCrow Wed 13-Jun-18 15:17:34

Tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck and get your baby vaccinated.

SendYouUpinFlames Wed 13-Jun-18 15:17:36

You do what you think is right.

Sofabitch Wed 13-Jun-18 15:18:38

Why don't people discuss this before having children. Feels pretty fundamental.

Of course you should get your child vaccinated

StruggsToFunc Wed 13-Jun-18 15:18:52

What are his objections?

It’s a pretty fundamental issue to disagree on as co-parents. Would he have similar objections to medical treatment if she needed it?

Sirzy Wed 13-Jun-18 15:19:52

Unless he has exceptionally compelling reasons to be unsure (in which case he needs to discuss it with her dr) then I would go ahead without doubt

BlueBug45 Wed 13-Jun-18 15:19:58

Don't discuss just take her for them.

When she is older make it clear to her any forms from school about medical matters should be discussed with you as her mum as her dad being a man won't understand.

Unfortunately as your DH is a fool you are going to have to be sneaky then sexist to ensure your daughter decreases her risk of illnesses.

Monday55 Wed 13-Jun-18 15:20:16

don't really think this is a topic I'd have discussed at all. It's almost the same as asking him for permission to feed the baby..

Vaccinations is something you just do. Why on earth would you not do it?

SodTheGreenfly Wed 13-Jun-18 15:20:31

I don't think my dh was remotely interested. He probably said it's up to you, you're in charge of babies. Not sure why you are even discussing it.

Pascall Wed 13-Jun-18 15:21:24

I wouldn't lie. I would make sure she had them and then tell him if he asked.

Would he be open to having a chat with your HV/Nurse/GP?

ILoveMyDressingGown Wed 13-Jun-18 15:21:24

Does he ever check her red book? If not, I would certainly be overriding his wishes and getting the vaccines anyway. I'd rather the fallout from that than the potential for her to catch the disease the vaccine is aimed at preventing.

LB2203 Wed 13-Jun-18 15:21:36

Take her. It's medical care.

Why does he think it's up to him to rule on whether she receives medical care or not?

TheOriginalEmu Wed 13-Jun-18 15:22:49

You can't just do it behind his back. I can't believe people are suggesting you should. If it was any other issue people would up in arms at the idea of lying to your partner like that.
You need to talk to him, discuss his concerns. take him with you to the doctors. but you can't just do it without his consent.

Spaghettijumper Wed 13-Jun-18 15:23:12

He's making absolutely no sense. If she had her 8, 12 and 16 week injections then she's basically had every innoculation already apart from the MMR and Men C. So the only thing he's stopping her from getting is the Men C jab. Why?

Everything else is a booster - if he stops her getting those he's basically reducing the effectiveness of the jabs she's already had.

I can understand parents not wanting vaccines at all (even though I very strongly disagree with it). But your DD has had practically every vaccine she can have already, so what exactly is he objecting to???

moredoll Wed 13-Jun-18 15:23:39

Can you ask your health visitor to have a word with him?
It may help to have a look at the NHS website following all the links.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/reasons-to-have-your-child-vaccinated/

I don't think you should lie to him, although in your position I'd be very tempted to.

CrackingCheeseGromit Wed 13-Jun-18 15:23:46

I’d just take her. What are his concerns?

FittonTower Wed 13-Jun-18 15:23:52

Normally I think parenting should be a partnership and if there's a fundemental disagreement parents should discuss things and find a middle ground or compromise but on something so important for a child's health like vaccination I'd just go and do it.
Also, with a few exceptions there aren't many arguments agaisnt vaccination that wouldn't make me lose a lot of respect for my partner if they took an anti-vacine stance.

TheOriginalEmu Wed 13-Jun-18 15:24:18

@Monday55 Vaccines can cause damage and injury. this is rare, of course, but it happens. you shouldn't ever 'just do' something that could potentially hurt your child. you should read and make an informed choice about it.

Cath2907 Wed 13-Jun-18 15:24:24

He is a nut bucket. Don't argue with him just take her and get her jabbed. I don't think I even told DH I just assumed he'd want the best medical care for DD and had her poked.

Youshallnotpass Wed 13-Jun-18 15:24:27

He's wrong and a total idiot to boot.

Ignore him and do what is best for your baby.

Motherduckling Wed 13-Jun-18 15:24:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spaghettijumper Wed 13-Jun-18 15:25:58

But she has been vaccinated already!! Does he not understand that?

Cath2907 Wed 13-Jun-18 15:26:47

@TheOriginalEmu - Medical care is something most normal people "just do". All medicines come with an inherant risk but how many of us actually read the information leaflet before popping our two Anadin or giving the feverish howling kid their Calpol. Vaccines have been demonstrated to have an excellent safety profile and a positive risk benefit ration otherwise they'd not be licensed in the UK and certainly not funded and promoted by the NHS.

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