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AIBU?

Man may have photos of DS on tube

84 replies

AcrossTheOcean · 13/06/2018 14:04

Hi all,

On the tube the other day a man who seemed odd to me pointed his phone at my young DS and I thought he may have been taking photos or video 😟

I started to try to get his attention saying excuse me but then just ended up trying to position myself between his phone and my DS, somewhat unsuccessfully. An older woman a couple seats down looked on with concern but didn't say anything.

Just wondering what other mums would have done?

OP posts:
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eyycarumba · 13/06/2018 14:16

How old is your DS? I'd have either have sat there taking very obvious pictures of him too or very loudly complained about it and moved, then reported to a worker (if you could find one). How creepy.

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IsItThatTimeAlready131 · 13/06/2018 14:27

In my head I would have snatched his phone, checked for video\pictures and deleted them, then reset his phone to factory settings, all while kicking him somewhere very painful. Then I would have offered him the phone back and when he was within reaching distance would have beaten him to death with it, smashing the phone to smithereens in the process.

In real life I would have moved son\myself into such a position whereby he could not take pictures while shooting him killer looks and making comments about not wanting strangers having pictures of my child.

Unfortunately it is not illegal to take pictures in public places so if he was, there's not much you can do apart from block his ability to do so or politely ask him not to do it.

Unfortunately you don't know for certain if he was taking pics or he just looked like he was, you might never know if he has pics of your child.

Would it have made a difference to you if the man was a woman or if he didn't 'seem odd' to you? Also, if he was taking pics, I think it is rude, inconsiderate etc. of anyone to take pictures like that of strangers so directly, rather than just a 'general group', which you might do to update FB telling everyone 'I'm on the train, nearly home' kind of thing.

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Whatshallidonowpeople · 13/06/2018 14:28

So?

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Tangled59 · 13/06/2018 14:29

I would have just really loudly kept saying "stop taking pictures of my son".

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SouthWestmom · 13/06/2018 14:31

I'd have said 'you're not taking photos of my son, are you? Just the way you're holding your phone ha ha.'

Apart from that, nothing. My kids are visible in public, appear in school stuff, act in stuff, as long as I keep them safe and they know how to be safe we're good.

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StopMakingItDifficult · 13/06/2018 14:33

Did you ask him what he was doing? Why would he be photographing/ videoing your son when he can see him? How odd.

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PinkHeart5914 · 13/06/2018 14:48

What’s the worst his got? A photo of a random child sitting on a tube I’m assuming your ds wasn’t naked or anything. How many of us or our dc are in the background etc of random photos?? From peppa pig world, the park, the cafe on a busy day etc etc, public places it does happen a lot?

What do you imagine would be done with said photo, if in fact he even took any?

No he probably shouldn’t be taking photos of people but really this is a lot of fuss about nothing especially as you don’t even know if he actually has any photos.

What would I of done? At the very most moved my child round so the back of his head was facing the man

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NanFlanders · 13/06/2018 14:50

Are you sure he wasn't taking a selfie, i.e. camera set to face him rather than face away?

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showerfire · 13/06/2018 14:57

He will have been taking a selfie.

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DreamingofSummer · 13/06/2018 14:58

Me and every other member of my camera club hate this type of hysterical reaction.

Camera or phone does not equal paedophile or child abuser.

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Sickofpeople · 13/06/2018 15:03

I agree it could have been a selfie.
That said it isn't illegal to take pictures of children in public. My dc are in various pictures by local hobby photographers in the city we live in who then upload to social media. Not thrilled as there are certain people who I wouldn't want to know what city we are in or what children now look like but nothing I can do.

One of my upset children's photos and a photo of other distressed children at a terror attack anniversary is on sale for almost five hundred pounds each to media and newspapers online. That pisses me off enormously.

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TeasndToast · 13/06/2018 15:03

Well if you come out of your camera club world and work in child protection for a while you might not see concerns as ‘hysterical’ dreamingof. Most people wouldn’t believe what some men get off on photographing and what they store in their houses, on their walls and on
their computers. The problem is actually worse than people realise, not better than all these ‘crazy hysterical’ people think.

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ILoveMyDressingGown · 13/06/2018 15:05

I don't think I'd have done anything tbh. If the man does have pics of your son, what harm will it cause him?

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DreamingofSummer · 13/06/2018 15:09

TeasandToast

Total hysteria despite your protestations. A picture of a person in a public place and men are going to get off on it. Yeah right.

#letsbancameras

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StopMakingItDifficult · 13/06/2018 15:09

Ok teasandtoast but if these men do get off on random, fully clothed children why don’t they just watch kids tv? Or look out the window? They hardly need to go to the effort and risk of being exposed by photographing kids, in public, stood right next to their mother.

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SimonBridges · 13/06/2018 15:11

You were on the tube. Are you aware of how many CCTV cameras you DS would have appeared on just in the tube station?
And what about in the background of other people's pictures?

Even if this person did take a picture then so what? It's not nice but what is the worst he can do with it? If he gets his jollys from looking at a fully clothed child then there is not much anyone can do about it.

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CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/06/2018 15:12

I can see it woud be disconcerted but it isn't illegal to take pictures of people in public places.

If it bothers you just say stop... it becomes an issue then, they should stop.


You can't quote 'safeguarding' at it, there is no inherent safeguarding issue. And I take pictures of the inside of peoples house every single day! I send them to other people too! I'm a) not some bloke and b) not a safeguarding issue.


Out here in real life there has to be a specific reason to say STOP - and that can simply be "Just stop!" But the person behind the camera is freely entitled to take pictures of anyone/anything in public.

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adaline · 13/06/2018 15:12

I get you're a bit concerned, but what do you think's going to happen with the photos? I presume your son wasn't naked or wearing a sign with your name and address on it?

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TeasndToast · 13/06/2018 15:13

You’d think it would be like that wouldn’t you Stopmakingit but they don’t think like normal rational people and often they like the ‘look’ of certain children and adults being present is absolutely no deterrent at all.

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CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/06/2018 15:18

Who is they ?

The child catcher / pedophile on every corner?

Stop it! Partly because it is untrue that every man you meet is a pedohile and partly because promoting that kind of unfounded suspicion and fear is deeply unpleasant.

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TeasndToast · 13/06/2018 15:19

Stop using mysoginstic language. Nobody is ‘hysterical’. Let’s not ban cameras no but don’t call women hysterical when they don’t want pictures of their kids taken.

SOME men DO specifically go out with the sole intention of collecting photos of children. They also spend years training for jobs for no other reason than just to gain access to children. A few, but not so few that women deserve to be called ‘hysterical’ by someone in a camera club.

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MrsHappyAndMrCool · 13/06/2018 15:19

OP I feel your anxiety - I was once in a situation where an old man with a “proffesional” camera started snapping my little boy.

Thank god for a lady who was standing near me at the time, she went crazy then other members of the public got involved, the police were called and he was arrested.

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TeasndToast · 13/06/2018 15:20

Who said ‘every man’? Hmm

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StopMakingItDifficult · 13/06/2018 15:21

What was he arrested for mrshappy?

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Pigletthedog · 13/06/2018 15:21

61016

The above is the text number for the British transport police. If you are on a tube and an incident occurs you text this number with the details of the tube and they will do their best to have an officer attend.

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