Hello MN-ers
I’d really appreciate opinions on a family childcare issue.
I have a 2-year-old DS, and I’m 8 months pregnant. I work full time, and so does DH. We are lucky enough to have some family help with childcare – my Dad and Stepmother look after him on a Monday, Tuesday he goes to MIL with his cousins, Wed-Fri he’s at a local nursery.
I have never asked, or pressured my Dad to help with the childcare – it was something he volunteered to do almost as soon as DS was born. I’ve always made it very clear how grateful I am for his help, and I have said it's not a problem if he ever needs to go away on a Monday (he’s retired, as is my Stepmother and they go away a lot).
The trouble is that they are away such a lot its begun to be an issue. Since January, they must have averaged 1-2 weeks away on a Monday every month. Often they don’t give very much notice as they do a lot of last-minute flights abroad or trips in their camper van, and they don’t seem to understand that this causes a huge issue for us. Both DH and I are required to book in leave in the good advance notice of when we want to take it.
This week my Dad has announced they are going away week after next for 2 weeks. DH works on a client appointment basis and struggles to cancel. It's my last two weeks before maternity leave with my second baby so I could really do without taking an additional two Mondays off as I have a lot to finish and handover.
I feel they are being quite inconsiderate at this point and have said as much to my Dad. I don’t really understand why they couldn’t have gone away a week later, when I’m off on mat leave, or just cut things a day short so they don’t miss two Mondays in a row (they are away in the UK in campervan so can leave when they like, its not like they’ve got to catch specific flights…)
Really don’t want to be ungrateful, but them being away as many/more Mondays than they have had him makes our lives incredibly difficult. It would be less hassle to put him in the nursery an extra day at this point, and then we wouldn’t be left scrabbling around frantically trying to make alternative arrangements.
I have suggested this, but my Dad is upset at the thought of not getting to see his DGS as much. They live an hour;’s drive away, so if he didn’t do Mondays they would probably see him a lot less. But its honestly getting more hassle than its worth at this point.
AIBU or should my Dad be more considerate? I feel that he’s lost touch a little with the practicalities of working life since retiring, as he doesn’t seem to realise the hassle this costs us.
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AIBU?
Family childcare issue - is my dad being inconsiderate or am I?
50 replies
Glittertrauma · 13/06/2018 09:39
OP posts:
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